My 3.5 year old to be assessed

[Nonicknameavailable]

Hi everyone

I am quite new here and I find the web site absolutely amazing - thank you for every single mum who spends their time to share your experience , thoughts and support. I started a thread recently not knowing there was a specific thread for 'special needs' part so the following is my little one's story:-
My 3.5 year old son is a lovely, energetic boy who loves playing, very creative, talkative, brilliant with especially imaginary play, a kind gentle boy - just like any other 3.5 year old in my eyes. i've been working part time 3 days a week.He's been going to a nursery pre-school last 6 months (previously he used to be with a childminder). Recently the nursery teachers mentioned that he is quite inattentive with the group activities , impulsive (i.e. runs off all of a sudden), sometimes gets frustrated and hits other children. (I've been working on this with a time out method and his hitting has almost stopped completely and apparently better with this at the nursery - he is using his words so much better) The teacher who is also a SENCO would like to write a report and invite a professional to assess him as she thinks he may have a condition. I was first shocked and a little defensive (as it is easy to get like that) then I realised this is about my little one and I'd rather find out so that I can help him. However, I am still concerned that if he is too young to go through all these evaluation stuff. I read some comments here saying that labelling means social death for a child etc. Will he still be able to make friends - if his friends know that he has an issue - would they try to be friends with him still - which scares me a little. This year my hubby was diagnosed with testicular cancer (he is better since May) then I was pregnant and had a miscarriage recently then finding out concerns about my son - it's just everything has gone so wrong this year - I wonder if all these had an affect on him etc. His behaviour pattern is like:-
-His imaginary play is great - he is a super hero most of the time etc., plays with toys very well
-Runs around alot, lots of energy - runs off from me and at the nursery (which is a real concern with them)
-Easily distracted I would say - he cannot speak to me if the TV is on.
-He doesn't get too mixed up in especially group plays (but did nativity and took part well), he doesn't play with his little bruv (1.5 years) much - only chasing here and there (sometimes tries to make him laugh though)
-Nursery said his spacial awareness not good - bumps into things etc.

That's all I know - I let the nursery to send the report through today - I hope I am doing the right thing for him. Thank you for listening - sorry it took too long!

Welcome nonickname.
Firstly - don't worry too much about '' social death" . The Nursery will not tell other parents if - and it is an if - your DS is seen by anyone. You don't need to tell anyone either. Most children of this age like children who they choose to like - it's not until later in life that they tend to notice if there are any differences in behaviour.
Early help and support from the professionals is a good way forward. If they find nothing - good, if they have concerns, they will pass you to people that can help. Forewarned is forearmed as they say.

Thank you so much auntevil. YOur comments made me feel more confortable about this. x

not confortable , comfortable

The kids don't think about 'labels' or SN at all - in my DS2s class is a girl who is totally blind. He never mentioned it at all! This year he has a kid in his class with Downs who's far behind the others in almost every way (non verbal etc) - DS2 still doesn't think it's odd or mention it. And they all play together.

The parents won't know he has a 'label' unless it's noticeable.

What we normally say here - is would you rather your child was labelled asd / adhd whatever - or labelled 'naughty'. Because that is what is most likely to happen.

Some of the saddest threads on here are from desperate parents of secondary aged kids who didn't want their child labelled because they were coping - were being the important word. It's a lot harder to get a child support as a teenager than as a wee one.

DS3 has found a friend in reception this year who is a real 'live -wire'. My DS has medical needs, but not SN\SEN needs. His friend has play dates and is invited to parties,as is my DS. He has sat on people's heads, knocked and buffeted the others around, and they all know he is a little 'naughty' - but they don't care because he is fun to play with too.
The parents of the other children pretty much all know what he is like, but in fairness, it's the minority that would stop their children associating with him.

Thank you so much everyone. I feel so much better about the unknown future already with your reassuring words. I think it's so true that children are more likely to aceept differences between themselves than adults and having him assessed etc. so young should only help him getting the help he needs in time so the whole school thing shouldn't be that difficult for him. Thank you again so much everyone. I'll keep you posted with how we get on etc. x

Just to add, my eldest only has one friend BUT she doesn't care, even more strange is the fact everyone likes her and wants to be with her, she just doesn't want them
Dd2 has no one friend to speak of but will happily play with anyone. She has no attachments to anyone, but she is loved by most because she is funny, fun and rather cute
You don't have to tell anyone anything at all. Dd2 copes better as she has had alot more early support than dd1. They both have autism.

lisad123 , thank you so much for your reply. It is funny how things work out in life - like your DD1 being popular but she is not being interested in others!! :)
As long as my boy doesn't feel left out and depressed because of the condition he has or get bullied because of his diagnosis that's the most important thing to me - I just want to protect him from the world- but sounds like I may be worried for no real reason. Thank you so much - it really helps to speak to people who are in the same boat as me. Have a merry xmas! xxx