Completely pointless and insensitive comment from the teacher. Grrrrrrr!!!

[makemineaquadruple]

Hi everyone

Yesterday when I dropped off dd at school, she was unusually clingy and started crying when I left. I went back to her to make sure she was ok, but eventually I had to just leave. I knew she'd be ok eventually and me being there was doing no good. Anyway, I knew she wasn't herself in the morning and she was babbling and being very forgetful, which tends to happen if she's anxious about something. In this case, it was the christmas play that she was in TWICE that day! It's not the fact that she didn't want to do it cos she's been practising it for weeks and has been doing really well at rehersal, so it was a surprise when she started getting upset.

So the first performance was good and she managed to say her lines(ish), but when I went through to the classroom to pick her up she was babbling again and was just repeating lines randomly from the play. She had a little mark on her leg and I asked the teacher if she knew where it came from. When dd tried to explain that she did it the night before it came out all mixed up and only I would have really understood what she meant. Anyway, the teacher just looked at dd and me gone out and then said "well that doesn't make any sense. I've got no idea what you're talking about". Because I was all flustered from praying that she would cope during the nativity, I didn't really have anything to fight with iyswim. So, I just ignored the comment, put her coat on and left.

I know this particular teacher has got a reputation for being rather cold and a little old school, but i'm usually the one who stick up for her. Dd calls her the angry teacher, but when I ask if she likes her she says yes So i've never really had a problem with her..............until now.

Am I over reacting, or is was her comment completely wrong and unprofessional?

Bump

Makemine, I'm not sure. From what you say, it probably was an accurate comment from the teacher, not very tactful maybe. Did it upset your DD? I'd be tempted to make a note of it but take no action unless you get another instance. The teacher could have been stressed by the performance and having a bad day. Or she could generally be a bit of a cow!

It was a wrong thing to say because to be honest it would probably make a child more flustered if they are unable to explain themselves so yes it was a bit off. But at the same time I can understand the Teacher perhaps not thinking due to rushing about with plays. All of the ones in our school have had a stressed its got to be perfect look on their faces all week.

If it didnt upset your DD I would just make a mental log of it and see if something like that happens again in a not so busy time as christmas :)

I've always thought that teachers- particularly old school type teachers - often forget that they're talking to adults and just talk to you as children. I can imagine that when trying to unravel a mystery from a child that they might comment that what is said doesn't make sense. But then you would expect a bit more patience top get to the bottom of it. Would agree with the stressed Christmas production vibe as well.

Well actually this teacher was very flustered so I guess it could have just been a case of not thinking before speaking and yes, my dd didn't seem to notice. She did look a little deflated though, but I don't think she was upset. The thing is I just can't work this teacher out. I don't know if any of you remember, but a while back I started a thread about her unusual method of finding out who likes and plays with dd. This was basically to ask everyone "who here likes x? Who here plays with x? As you can imagine, I wasn't happy about it. Maybe it's that in the back of my mind that's making her comments seem more insulting than they are....................I don't know.

I'm starting to worry that the other mums were right.

It's the end of term. She's just got 30+ infants through their school play. Cut the woman some slack. She spoke the truth to your DD and perhaps your DD does need reminding that she is babbling because she does need to develop in her social skills. I have to say I wouldn't have done it like that and I think she sounds insensitive and clumsy and I don't like the asking about friends thing - that really would have made me grumpy but we teachers can't be perfect all the time and sometimes we make bad calls. I would leave it as your DD wasn't taking any notice and it's absolutely knackering at this time of year and I think you would come across as an over fussy mother if you said anything. School life is about learning to deal with a range of people although being termed 'the angry teacher' sounds a bit like she gets very shouty which isn't necessarily great.

Hmmmm, she might need to develop in her social skills, but comments like that aren't going to help her do that. As I mentioned before, I understood that things would be stressful for all the staff at a time like that and I also mentioned that I always stuck up for this teacher, so I have cut her some slack.

Also, mentioning the fact that she was speaking the truth and therefore it was ok makes no sense to me. Speaking the truth just because it's the truth isn't always the best thing to do. My dd is developing her social skills, but a teacher saying that she's not making any sense when she knows that she can be like this, is NOT going to encourage my dd to not babble. It's helpful in no way.

I understand that you're seeing this from a teachers point of view and therefore are probably more sympathetic to this particular woman, but you need to know that i'm not expecting dd's teachers to be super human or never make any mistakes, but I do expect them to be professional and encouraging.

You were there, you know how it felt and how the teacher came across. Have a word with the teacher next year. I would worry that this teacher was 'off' with my child on other occasions when i was not there. Follow your gut instinct, speak our mind in a tactful way. I wouldn't let it go. She is a teacher not your friend, ask her find out what she meant,,,,,,,

No I don't think this is OK at all. The teacher does have 30 children, but if she's saying things like this then her basic attitude towards your daughter is not quite in the right place (hope that makes sense).

I am very sensitive and get upset by comments that DS's teacher makes constantly - usually to me, rather than him - but I wonder what she says to him when I'm not there ... DS says he doesn't like his teacher because she shouts at him a lot - but that is a different issue, I guess.

His teacher is very old school and cold - has a reputation for being this way. And I don't know how to take her/deal with her. I end up feeling not very pro-school and am not a teacher enthusiast! Sorry if that is a really ignorant comment to make. I'm just not sure what I feel about institutions and expecting one teacher to meet the individual needs of every child in her class ...

So I suppose what I am saying is it is not entirely the teacher 'fault', but I still think we should expect more.