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Original poster

Let the Christmas meltdowns begin....

23 replies

Triggles · 14/12/2011 21:37

Have they started yet for anyone else?

DS2 is really struggling this year. I can see him stimming all over the place, and the verbal stims are really picking up now. He is overloaded from a sensory perspective most of the time, can't sit still, can't focus. When he is comfortable verbalising, he talks so quickly that half the time we cannot understand what he is saying. And he is already fighting and arguing with most decisions we make, as he is so tired he literally even argues when we've agreed with him.

ho ho ho....

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ABatInBunkFive · 14/12/2011 21:39

Yes, DS2 is withdrawing again i'm hoping it gets a bit better when the schools come off, usually that would be trouble too but it's more managable iykwim.

shazian · 14/12/2011 21:45

My ds aged 10 csan never cope at xmas time. He crys constant, doesnt like school nativity/rehearsals etc. He has been of school over 4 weeks now as was extremely stressed when rehearsals started, so much so that he actually rubbed each side of his head bald, knuckles all cut too with rubbing. School agree that best option is to keep him off, tried taking him one day last week he screamed for about an hour, wouldnt leave my side, doesnt talk but kept pushing and pulling me to the door. Needless to say i brought him home again, only thing is i now have a shadow because cant get moving. Hopefully after xmas he will settle in again ok. Tough times eh, shame for other 2 ds cos they are very excited, however we still have tree etc up at home ds seems fine with this.

thisisyesterday · 14/12/2011 22:51

oh yes. and i can't wait for school to break up so we have the massive "change in routine" meltdowns too

it's such a wonderful time of year isn't it?

tryingtokeepintune · 14/12/2011 23:52

Yep, started last week. Very teary, argumentative, verbal stimming etc.

And every morning I get told the date and how many more days till Christmas etc.

Last year it all culminated with him knocking over all the houseplants - am hoping that does not happen this year.

OnTheBen10DaysofChristmas · 15/12/2011 06:11

The days just before and Christmas day itself is the worst for us as he cannot bear the waiting. Hope he calms a bit once he isn't at school.

Original poster

Triggles · 15/12/2011 08:15

We've put up a chalkboard (one of those holiday decorated ones) saying days until Christmas. DS2 has been writing the day on their every day. I put it up in November about the time he was asking every day "is it Christmas?" and then when I told him Christmas was on a Sunday (he asked what day it was on), two Sundays in a row in November he insisted it was Christmas. Now he knows (for the most part) that it won't be Christmas until the countdown is done. That seemed to help a slight bit with the confusion over when Christmas was anyway.

But the chaos is definitely putting him on high alert.

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CarolCervix · 15/12/2011 08:19

at least this year i'll know why she is screaming and tantruming and throwing things and being all meltydowny.

The last 13 years of christmases make so much more sense now.

moosemama · 15/12/2011 10:13

Yes, ds1 had a huge episode the other night where he self-harmed, completely lost all control and we couldn't persuade him that he doesn't deserve to be hurt or worse, as he was repeating that he wanted to kill himself. It was over something so minor that it was a huge shock and truly the most terrifying thing I've ever been through with him, buts is a really long story and I can't go through it all again here, am too exhausted and sad about it all.

He seems better since the blew lid off - so-to-speak, but all his usual tics have surfaced and he's developed two new ones, one of which is a very visible arm movement.

According to his teacher and the SENCO he has been making a monumental effort to cope and hold himself together at school and has even watched two christmas films with his class, so they are really pleased with him. Unfortunately the consequences of that for him and the family at home have been pretty devastating.

Party day today and toy day tomorrow, then I imagine he will spend several days in his PJs reading and watching Pokemon before he starts to settle at home. Of course by then it will be almost Christmas and as he has problems with anything he has to wait for and look forward to, things have the potential to pick up a notch again at that point.

He has been invited to his friend's house to play on Monday and really wants to go, but I'm not so sure its a good idea. Fortunately its somewhere he's used to and the Mum is very understanding and good with him. I can't say no, because then he'll just kick off about me stopping him, but if I let him go, we will have to deal with the fallout when he gets home.

As any good Raymond Briggs' santa would say, 'Merry Bloomin' Christmas'!

MrsMagnolia · 15/12/2011 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarolCervix · 15/12/2011 10:38

DD doesn't like cards. she puts them in the bin. ripped to shreds or not depending on how she's feeling.

It's just sad because she wants to enjoy it all but it just overwhelms her and then she gets sad because she can't cope and knows she's getting angry and frustrated which makes her worse because she wants to be having fun. (same as holidays and birthdays too)

Original poster

Triggles · 15/12/2011 12:06

moosemama so sorry. Hopefully with school out he can get a little relaxation time and feel more himself.

MrsMagnolia DS2 is the opposite with cards. He gets monumentally over-excited. Rather like Father Christmas has personally given it to him or something. Imagine his reaction to getting one from everyone in the class. He'll be right over the top and unsettleable (is that even a word? ) tonight.

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ouryve · 15/12/2011 13:02

DS2 is as oblivious as ever, though almost crapped himself when Santa offered him a sweet at a Christmas market, the other day!

DS1 is taking it all in his stride for the first time. He's finding a niche and really getting into helping with setting up the various events at school. He's been really hyper and sleeping quite badly, though and has been very short tempered. We've had no all day simmering for a while, though. Not since the weekend, at least!!! (Because for DS1, Christmas meltdowns would simply be regular meltdowns, but over something different)

ouryve · 15/12/2011 13:05

As for the school performance issue - he's not been required to take part and that's made a huge difference to his attitude to it. He was offered a production role if he wanted it, but he didn't, but he helped to clear away chairs and scenery from the hall at the end.

He's helping with the music and the lights for his party, this afternoon, so he can be there on the fringes if he can't cope with being in the middle of it.

Original poster

Triggles · 15/12/2011 13:26

I noticed that DS2 did not sing, just slowly fell apart, during their Christmas carol concert at school. He knows all the songs very well, as he's always singing them all over the house. But the minute he's in assembly, with extra people, he cannot cope, so the singing goes right out the window. That's okay - we've heard all the songs a thousand times over at school, but just sad to see him curled up on TA's lap, stimming, and then having to go out because it's too much for him. I hate to just exclude him from it - we had hopes that this year because he was enjoying the songs, that he would find it easier to participate. But I guess not.

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Original poster

Triggles · 15/12/2011 13:27

sorry, "a thousand times over at HOME" not at school

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sitandnatter · 15/12/2011 18:11

I'm with you all, especially the self harming sadly.

Yes we're off, argumentative, dreading Christmas, can't make decisions about what he wants, can't stand surprised, dreads not liking his presents then he'll be ungrateful, then he will be bad then he'll self harm in his own head of course.

By Sunday I was reduced to tears not like me but just so damned hard. My mum doesn't understand why he hates Xmas and says stuff like "how can you hate it when i am going to buy you this that and the other" and she will totally spoil him, but she doesn't undetstand that for autistic chilren being bought new stuff is major anxiety for my son anyway.

Original poster

Triggles · 15/12/2011 18:21

Both boys are seriously in "I want mummy" mode right now, as DS3 is 2yo and just in that stage anyway, and DS2 is walking around mentally all over the place. DH is taking it personally, and I just can't get him to understand that it's got NOTHING to do with him. grrrr (okay, probably does a little bit - perhaps if he stopped shouting over every stupid little thing, he might seem more approachable to the boys )

Ho ho hell...

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ouryve · 16/12/2011 10:57

DS1 only just held it together, yesterday.

It didn't help that the fire alarm went off i the morning and that put him on a bad footing. He did play his part with the party, having control of the music for the games, but he lost it at the end when all the boys' presents were wrapped in Toy Story wrapping paper. He strongly disapproves of toy story.

He's also been peed off that DS2 is going to the foundation stage party instead of his own KS1 party. He's mostly with his own year group, now, but spends some time with Reception just for a chance to let it all hang out. DS1 was going on at DS2's 1:1 about this, the other day, saying that "he should be with year 1!" DS2's 1:1 countered "yes, and you should be with year 3!" DS1's answer was "but I don't want to do that!" He's very legalistic, but only with other people :o

Anyhow, this morning, I almost lost it with him for jumping all over the place and crashing off all the furniture while I was trying to clean up DS2's last minute dirty nappy (and he wasn't ooperating with that, either.) He toe walked a lot of the way to school, so he might have a bit of an interesting day.

lisad123 · 16/12/2011 14:23

We took the easy way out and ran off to centre parcs for the last week of school came back very relaxed and worn out.
We personally don't celebrate Xmas do don't have as much trouble as you all do, just the school troubles because of Xmas.

Looking forward to chilling at home and have open invite to all our Asd friends to pop over for some time out from Xmas as we have no lights, trees, or music.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 16/12/2011 14:29

Lisad, glad the long awaited CP holiday went well. Your house sounds like ASD Christmas heaven!

santastooearlymustdache · 16/12/2011 14:45

can i tiptoe in please?

DD isn't sleeping, she's running EVERYWHERE (which is a bonus getting home from school ) and i'm expecting a massive meltdown later as it's the last dance lessons tomorrow for the holidays and she also has a birthday party to go to.

hoping to chill her down with lights down, a bath and a dvd this evening, and maybe some sleep later.

we've given up on the advent candle, she wants to smell the flame

ouryve · 16/12/2011 16:27

Eeek at trying to sniff the advent candle flame!

Was right about DS1 - didn't eat his lunch and I arrived to find him curled up, head down in one of the bucket chairs outside the school office. I guessed he would have dampp feet from the snow, though, so wrestled him out of his socks (with help!) and handed him some fresh ones and a pair of wellies and he enjoyed walking home in the bit of snow that was left and watching the street lights come on, since we were a little later than usual and a big, black cloud had come over. He's chilling with his DSi and Mario, now.

DS2 loved his party and loved his present (though steered clear of the scary man with the white beard) and was in total awe of the snow - though still refused to try and touch it :o

Original poster

Triggles · 16/12/2011 16:31

Well, school out now until after New Years. He's pretty up there right now, watching telly and stimming while sprawled across a chair, swinging his legs.

DH stayed home all day with DS3 while DS2 was in school today, so I was able to go out and get food shopping done, pick up a few Christmas things, and then meet some friends for lunch out. Very nice day, all in all.

I'm going to sit down tomorrow and coordinate specific things to do every day, so he has an activity each day to keep him busy.

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