i'm worried, ds is quite rough with other children

[saladsandwich]

and im worried he could be excluded from nursery, he hasnt done anything at nursery but at playgroup another child there follow ds about snatching things, hitting him prodding him, poking him,pushing him, i think they are trying to get ds to play but he isnt interested, after being hassled so many times he will lash out but hes a big boy so is heavy handed... the other day a particular kid was poking him with a toy, i moved him on, the kid did it again, i moved him on and so on then ds turned round and kicked the kid in the face, it was more a push with a foot, the kid didnt cry or anything. the parent as decided to place their chld in nursery on different days to ds... i feel sad people shun ds but anyway this parent as been fishing for info on the days ds does but i dont like the idea of nursery giving any details out about my ds even if it is just days my ds attends.

i asked for advice on a parenting site about the nursery thing and i basically got i was in the wrong for thinking everyone should accept ds kicking and lashing out, but the conversations went on but i'm now worried that ds could be suspended from nursery if hes badly behaved....

can that happen? hes generally not too badly behaved at nursery he has his moments but hes not quite 3 yet, the problem with ds is he can tolerate so much after that he loses it can they suspend him for it? got myself worried, ds needs this nursery

I don't know what SN you're dealing with, but on the face of it he doesn't sound any different from most kids his age. Many of them are hot-headed & lash out if pestered (SN irrelevant).

He'd have to be pretty unmanageable to get excluded from a nursery. Your best reassurance would be from the nursery staff themselves, the more open you are about his triggers I would have thought the better they can support him (& you).

thanks, ds has behaviour problems, developmentally behind in language, social skills, his self care skills and his play is alittle behind too. he doesnt interact or play with other children.

the nursery do know about ds, i was just woried if he lashed out he could find himself excluded, he can lash out badly but it is only when kids follow him after hes persitently tried telling them to go

If the other parent had been paying more attention to her child pestering your child then maybe this would have been avoided. I wouldn't worry about nursery as long as you have informed them of his "tendencies" then it's up to the staff to manage this appropriately

i have been ripped to shreds on another parenting site about this :(

It sounds like he is only lashing out when "provoked" albeit maybe not intentional provocation. I would be more concerned if he was randomly wandering up to others and lashing out. I don't think he will be excluded. Sympathies though, have been there. It isn't uncommon for a fair bit of pushing and shoving to go on in nurseries regardless of sn.

Also he is still very, very you young, not even three. It is the nurseries job to implement strategies to avoid this sort of thing. Could you arrange to meet with them to discuss how to deal with it?

well, last time i post on that site its still going :( i just wish i'd never said anything. the other kid is only 3 and i think they just want ds to play but he wont... nursery are really quite excellent cannot fault them, they have done wonders for ds

Ignore the other thread :)

If he doesnt like mixing and the nursery are aware of it then they should put into place someone to keep an eye on things. Encourage group play but take him quietly away if its not working.

They should act on his needs rather than leave him to defend himself as that is exactly what he is doing wether right or wrong. They cannot exclude him if they havent tried any preventative measures :)

Tbh if someone repeatedly poked me with a toy I think I may give them a slap as well :) ignore the other thread to be fair your ds sounds fairly relaxed as it would've only taken one poke for my dd to respond!
Unfortunatley its their age and other kids will do it to try and get a reaction from him, nursery need to be vigilant of this at all tines as it isn't fair on your ds to be hassled like this

thanks, ds has been doing so well recently well for about a week so i dont want him going backwards, nursery say he is really no bother at all, he has his bad days but he is generally quite good. he should be going to school nursery this term but i have decided to keep him where he is till he starts reception...

turned out the parent wanted to try not have her dc on all the same days as ds, not sure why could be positive reasons or negative. ds when he loses it though admitedly he can be quite nasty and he never ever forgets, if a kid hits him he ill go back 10minutes later sometimes and hit them back when hes finished what he is doing

thanks everybody, i know not to post anything about ds's problems anywhere but here now. i didnt expect to be accused of using ds's sen as an excuse for him kicking out (i didnt btw :) )