TA poking ds (dyspraxia, hypermobile joints) in his back because he's slow

[awayinaminger]

...and telling him that his work is a scribbled mess.
Very cross. WWYD?

Complain very loudly. Even if he is capable of better and even if she hadn't seen any class notes explaining his disability, there are more constructive (and less nasty) ways of telling him that and helping and encouraging him to achieve it.

Me? I would be going in to school tomorrow morning and resisting the temptation of poking her on the shoulder till it drove her batty! I would take it up with the senco and ask her to try and teach her TA that body contact should be omitted unless its a high five for good behaviour. And ask the question of how the TA is going to build up your sons esteem by commenting on his scribbled mess horrible person!

dh rang the Head - is that over the top? Don't know if he got through yet as he's at work. grrrrrrr

no its not over the top at all think i'd go to school and poke her all day and make her feel she cant do things right angry:

are you sure?

only, i do poke dd2 and ds1 occasionally (or more than occasionally, if they are daydreaming) to get their attention and get them back on task (ds1 has major issues with distractibility) and i have been known for all three of my children to tell them that in no way is their work neat enough and that they are capable of doing much better.

ds1 is as yet un-dx (but has ishoos), and dd2 has cerebral palsy. (her work can be shocking)

they are all capable of producing neatish work, and i won't have them slacking or being lazy if i think they can do better. and i expect the school staff to have a good grasp of their capabilities and to pull them up on it if they aren't meeting their potential. i'm fed up with TAs who say 'bless' and have low expectations just because they have additional needs.

i don't think i'd be racing to school. i'd be asking them if they weren't paying attention, and if their work was neat enough? and then i'd saying, well, you'd better pay attention and do it neater next time, eh?

what does the ot say about ds's capabilities?

have school implented decent supports? (pencil grips/ writing slope/ decent seating etc?)

The comment is unacceptable.

What's the full story on the poking? Often, a hand on a shoulder blade or upper arm is ok to guide someone in a direction - but it should be a flat hand and very gently. Oh, and usually only acceptable from someone with Physical Interventions training and all the behaviour management training that goes with it...

if it is always a scribbled mess, does the ot think that a laptop would be more appropriate? are his issues severe enough for that?

dd2 does half and hlaf, but will ultimately ft keyboard as her fine motor is shot really. i do expect the teaching staff to be capable of judging whether she is making an effort though. and pulling her up on it if not.

madwoman he said that he was doing maths (during the scribbled mess comment) and that he thought that he had followed all the instructions and that once he'd finished she said that it looked like a scribbled mess.
He said with regard to the poking that he could feel it for a few minutes afterwards. He is not at all the type to complain - he just gets on with things usually. He is very good natured and has no behavioural difficulties - his class teacher said exactly the same at parent's evening. This is the first time I've felt that we need to speak to school and he's 10, so it's not as if he's always complaining about stuff. So yes I am sure sadly.

He uses a laptop for creative writing. His writing is scruffy but you can read it. He uses it for writing to help develop his syntax really - he's never been able to handwrite enough to develop his skills properly.

ok. just wondered if it had been blown out of proportion and was more of a 'hoi, you' in a jovial manner. if he's 10 then he's well capable of judging intent, presumably. i assumed about 7 and misreading a freindly reminder to get with the programme.

math is ridiculous with dd2. how she can read her working out and the answer i'll never know. (in fact, sometimes she can't. my favourite was when she wrote all her reminders for the next day in her agenda. and then couldn't read them when she got home.)

Any chance you could check to see if there's a mark?

As a (now ex) care worker, I'm aware that these things can be messing about, like madwoman is suggesting - but it's not appropriate in a classroom environment, perhaps more so in a residential setting (I worked with teenagers for a long time, and while I would never poke someone so hard they could feel it afterwards, there's much more of a jolly friendly relationship where a bit of gentle teasing is part of learning social skills iyswim)

oh, i know. i was wondering if she was doing it in a jovial manner though, which had been misinterpreted. especially if she knew he was capable of much neater work, but was underperforming because he was distracted or whatever.

from what ds said it wasn't jovial. His class teacher makes some sharp comments but she is having a joke, so he is used to that kind of relationship.
I have the feeling that he just annoys this TA. He is a typical child with dyspraxia - scruffy, forgetful, slow, clumsy, disorganised etc. Some people do find that annoying I know.

Then she shouldn't be a TA

Sorry, I have met too many people who think TA = cushty school hours without thinking through the implications of actually working one to one with real children who display challenging behaviour. I have met TAs who think that challenging behaviour is getting upset when they fall over. FFS!

Yep you'd think she would have a bit more patience/understanding. Hope this doesn't cause a problem for ds now though - she's been at the school for a while I think, so fairly well established. Didn't think we could (or should) let it go though.

Poking and pointing at people I cannot stand. Its bad manners and if people point I just want to slap their hands away.

I know if it was DS he would have got up and left as he would have taken it as fighting talk AND touch and the TA would have got a whole lot more than she bargained for.

DS has gone through 2 TAs so far. The two he has had were thought to be tough guys. It didnt work because if he was treated with sharp talk he would give it back with a roar and run. The TA who volounteered was the calmest, biggest and happiest and I think the school thought it wouldnt last long. They were so wrong and she is still with him now and has got more work out of him than any of them including the teacher

that sounds like my other ds! I kind of think that some TA's/teachers do this kind of thing to certain children because they can ...not that ds is a victim or anything, but he is so laid back that he'll take it and not say anything. I agree that calm teachers/TA's are often more effective than the shouters....it just takes more effort and patience.

I guess if I think back to when I was at school and had to practice being nimble in outducking a blackboard rubber heading for your direction, or a piece of chalk and even remember well a teacher clicking his fingers and pointing at you, then your chair. Then opening his cupboard, turning the light on in it and you walked in with your chair, door was shut and you stayed there for the lesson lol.......................we have come a long way

But that never earnt the teachers any respect in my school days.

All the TA really had to say was something along the lines of "you have worked well today, perhaps we can work harder next time on the appearance of your work what do you think? As I know and have seen you can do much better than that" and say it with a SMILE not a poke!!

yes I remember those types of teachers - the fear!

The quiet ones are the ones you take notice of when they do roar - because you know you're really in it this time The ones who shout all the time have nowhere left to go so either just get ignored or they trigger the "fight or flight" reflex so never get good results.