what do you think HT meant by saying this.....?

[crazygal]

hello
i have posted recently about ds 7
he has been dx with ADHD,HT had me in this week quite abit saying she doesnt believe ds has ADHD! she says he shows aspects of it,after alot of quizzing her she said he shows aspects of several different things! she stressed she wasnt a dr.or pead,then said he shows more signs of ODD,i mentioned aspergers,she said possibly,she said hes showing signs of lots of things,
she then said her TA who has many years experiance says she just cant reach ds,and that shes worked with children with autism/adhd/add etc,and shes reached then,and she cant figure it out,why she cant reach ds....what does she mean by that??

I thought that ODD occurred largely with ADHD. Is he reluctant to enagage with the TA?

We were told ODD is a common co-morbid with ADHD . Perhaps go back to HT thank her for being so honest so she knows your open for discussion on it and ask her where you go from here and if she feels your ds needs reassessed.
Fwiw my dd has ADHD but I often feel there's something more there that I just can't put my finger on.

thank you cat64,
yes i felt relieved that they are finally seeing what i was seeing!
ds was dx only 5 wks ago,
i did feel it was probably not completely adhd,but on another post i have it seemed more clear that he may have aspergers too,the HT fells theres lots of things,and when i spoke to her i agreed with her and thanked her for her understanding.
i know ds has no empathy and i wondered if thats what she meant....
he hasnt been statemented either,
i realised the HT was cautious about what she was saying to me,
she said ds is finding school very hard,hes is excluded from the playground at the moment for hitting people in the face,as they stood to close to him,or because the diagreed with him etc,HT says he dosent like the word "no"
and that he thinks everything that doesnt go his way is someone elses fault!
and wondered if the TA just didnt understand that end of him,
HT teacher did say,she thinks theres more going on then just adhd.

have you looked at PDA?

yes ive looked at pda,odd and aspergers and i think hes fitting them all in areas....ive rang the pead,as its only been a few weeks since i seen her,she will see him again and have a chat about the problems that are arising,
yes i understand odd can come with adhd,but ht thinks theres more,
im not overly sure if there is major probs with the ta,i got the empression the ht was just saying that the ta said it in general,as ive been called in 4 times this week and had lots of talks with ht and the teacher.

Sounds to me like HT is trying to tell you that there is more going on without actually saying what she thinks it is.

It is not her job to dx and she knows she could make you very upset/angry if she tells you negative stuff about your Ds.

You did the right thing to thank her, it is worth keeping her onside because while she is trying to help she is likely to try to keep your Ds out of trouble IYSWIM.

I wouldn't worry too much about the TA not being able to reach him, if she is a really expereinced TA she will know that every child on or around the spectrum presents differently and different things float their boats.

Is there anything that your DS particularly loves eg, trains or football?? maybe he could be reached through that.

Just a thought, keep plodding on, you will get there.

IME how social they are makes a big difference or if they have control issues. DS is totally happy in his own company. And to the untrained person he would be 'unreachable'. Put him in the hands of a capable ABA tutor and he becomes reachable and more social. He doesn't have PDA, or ADHD,or ODD just plain old ASD. So before you get too worked up appreciate it could just as easily be the teacher / TA who can't reach your DS due to limited skills, rather than that your DS is unreachable. Not all children respond to the same approaches, but that doesn't mean your child is more disabled. If my child had stayed on TEACCH / ASD outreach methods I would have thought he was much more severely disabled than he actually is. Now I know he is actually super bright and just needing motivating in the right way.

that's interesting Agnes. My ds is also very hard to reach. How did you go about finding a good ABA tutor?

I too have a HT keen to dx ODD. At the end of the day though he says DS1 needs a dx! Music to my ears to be honest - it's the relief factor. We do not have a dx of anything with a name! It's hard to hear when HT says these things but we are all supposed to be working together and I believe honesty is the best policy.

thank you Agnes.
your post has calmed me down somewhat....
ds takes control of situations and wants everything his way.or else...boom!
he will play by himself the odd time,but most of the time he wants company,or should i say,demands company!
what you say is so true,maybe he just doesnt respone to that TA,plus she doesnt know him all that long,only since sept....
pls could someone explain some of the abbreviations? ime?teacch?and iyswim,
thank you,x

thank you cat64
the ht is the senco and she has already confirmed she will put whatever i need in writing,im half tempted to ask her to come with me!!!
she told me on fri that she knows someone who deals with child behaviours and asked if it was ok if she could ask them to abserve ds?of course i said yes....
thank you for the info/wording to use when i go back to the pead :)
and i will certainly start writing stuff down!

today at my work i had a client in,she happened to work for the la and in the tribunals!
she told me that it sounds like my ds has BESD....have you ever heard of that?
im cure she said it meant behaviour/emotion,social/....and cant rememmber what the d meant!
she said its when a child has traits of several different things,
she also told me to fight fight fight to get a statement,which im READY for xxxxx