Should i move my DS to a new school?

[daisychainz]

My DS is just 6 years old in yr 1 in MS school, he has 22q11 deletion syndrome which has been diagnoised for 3 years now, he is fully statemented (1 to 1 TA everyday). Since the start of this school year his behaviour has gradually become worse. We had teething problems in reception, nothing too major, he couldnt stand still in his class line and after 6 months of me standing in the line with him, he nearly got it and then the school changed the routine and no longer lined up before class...anyway! assembley had always been a challenge for him too....it still is today, he cannot sit still for long and would call out at inappropriate times.

My Son at the moment has no passion for school, he asks me every morning without fail if he has to go to school today and reacts negative when he has to go, i know this can be normal for most children but its been everyday for about 6-8 weeks now. I always try to think why he dislikes school. When he started yr 1 i did feel the school had not really took into consideration his needs. 22q11 children do not like change in the routine, Last yr in reception he had 1 teacher and 2 TA ( 1 TA working 3.5 days- other TA working 1.5 days) now this year he has 2 teachers job sharing and 2 TA's job sharing all doing 2.5 days each. 4 teachers in a week?? When i showed my concerns about how i thought my son might find this unsettling i was told it is quite normal for SN children to have job sharing TA's.

I have had meetings to discuss my sons recent behaviour, he has been sent to the headmistress on one occasion which i did not feel happy about, he is only 6 years old, SN, he is not a brat of a child, he is very over sociable but lovable! I spoke to his Ta about how to handle this behaviour as i dont want this to get out of hand! she says she is not sure if his behaviour is to do with his syndrome or if it is his personality, this leaves me feeling like the school does not understand my child. Im fully aware that the syndrome is not well recognised but where can we go from here?

I had a conversation with the head about all my worries last week, it was decided to have a meeting on tuesday to discuss a new behaviour programme with all TA's and teachers, when i tried to speak to a TA on friday after school to see how the day went with my son, she couldnt get away from me fast enough, she could not speak to me, she said she will speak to me on tuesday at the meeting, this was very off, i think the head has spoke to them and told them to watch what they say to me,

I am very upset about all this, there are other incidents that have gone on that have made me unhappy, i feel the school is now unapproachable for me and im thinking of just moving my son to a new school and hopefully he will be more happy in a different environment.

thanks for taking the time to read all this, your comments and opinions are appreciated.

it doesn't sound a very positive environment for your DS from what you describe, I would try though to go to the meeting on Tuesday with an open mind, see whether they have anything constructive to suggest, and also whether they have any interest in seeking appropriate outside input (ed psych, behaviour advisory team, LEA inclusion people etc) if they are having difficulties with managing his behaviour. does he have any salt input, out of interest?

I think a mothers instinct about a school environment can be very strong. I moved my dd this year and has been best thing I've ever done! She now loves school and really enjoys going. I had to appeal for her new school place and was so glad I did

I think it would be a really good idea for you to look at some other schools. Would you consider sending him to a special school? Be very open minded when looking at schools at see where you think your child would 'fit'. In the meantime try and be positive with the current school and see if things can improve.

Do you have a home/school diary as a way of communicating with school? This can be better if used correctly than a chat at the end of the day. Does the school have any children with the same level of needs as your son? Does he have friends at school and how is progressing educationally?

I would say go with your intinct...I didnt a few years ago and bitterly regret it

I agree with chundle , you have to go with your gut instinct. If you think they are not getting your DS or putting in place the right support for him then in the end you may have to move him.

There is nothing worse than feeling like you are forcing them to go to school although a change of school might not cure that.

We moved Dd3 [asd] last year and even though she would still rather be at home I know that now if she needs extra support during the day it is there for her, whereas before she had to struggle through every day.

You could go and look round some other schools just to make sure that you are not missing something loads better just around the corner.

Good luck.

I would do both. Go to the meeting and look around for different school at the same time.

Take a neutral friend with you as witness to the meeting. Being neutral she will take more of what they are saying in where as the parent can get emotional and so block or not hear information. After the meeting say you are going home to think over and discuss. Discuss it with your friend then decide where to go from here if they are still not providing adequate care for her needs.

Keep all options open. Go to the meeting with an open mind. Ultimately your gut feeling does play an important role. If you feel that, however 'nice' and sincere staff are, you are going nowhere fast, time to go to plan B. Check out other schools - remembering that however sincere they sound too, concrete evidence of what they currently do is a much better indicator.
I moved my DS1 in year 1 in the January term. Really good move - although not perfect - it's a school that tries hard.

Your experience is scarily identical to mine. My DD is in P1 with ADHD the school told me she is being purposefully defiant and needs to be taught boundaries. The teachers and assistants an away from me when I came to collect her the head told me they were afraid of talking to me!!! They have made it abundantly clear that they do not want our DD even telling us she must improve in 6 weeks!!!! We are now moving her we will keep her there until we carefully chose the next school so I would strongly reccommend you do that. The good thing about the statement is that you can choose whatever school you feel suits you best go and see both mainstream and special units alike. I am ruling nothing out Ijust remember it is only school and your lovely DS's happiness is what is important you want a school that loves having him there and loves having you as one of the parents. You having nothing to lose it would be a different matter if he was telling you that he really loved the school and didn't want to leave. Go for it I started making all my appointments to visit schools today it is stressful but will hopefully be worth it xx