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Original poster

Sensory issues or Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Long sorry!

38 replies

Jerbil · 26/11/2011 10:08

Finally bit the bullet and took a video of DS1's behaviour (trying to get him to wear socks) to HT yesterday. HT is quite supportive and open to eventualities and admits knowledge is limited when it comes to this. But he did say I was too nice to DS1, well if you're being video'd you're hardly like to stand there screaming and shouting are you? A friend said I was damned if I did or I didn't anyway. Too nice = I'm letting him get away with it/ Too strict = I'm inducing the stress of the situ!
HT also said cos I've let DS1 get away with it for 2 years he's bound to show this behaviour now, well that behaviour is what led to this situation. He didn't start by calmly saying I don't want to wear sock, he started by grunting, screaming and crying and taking off his socks the minute my back was turned!
So I decided to stay quite nice for the video so that he can see the reaction of DS1 when trying to get him to wear certain things. Result = mild tantrum, crying and 5 minutes of complete stress for him. HT said we cannot go through that every morning, and that was mild cos I was being nice. HT said it was good to see it, but had I thought of ODD? I said I've read about it, but I don't know. He's not unkind, quite the opposite (is that a feature?) He insists I turn any fighting (Ben 10 etc.) off immediately it comes one the TV. He doesn't get involved in any trouble at School. Quite the extreme opposite, even his teacher says it. In fact, to describe his gentile nature I would say he's on a par with the gentlest, quietest girl in the class. He generally conforms. Sits at carpet time etc. Doesn't do reading when asked, (err, just got glasses, visual tracking problems and cannot read!) On the other hand, for me he is quite oppositional which his CP has said yes he is oppositional. He's not very compliant at appointments for example. I know HT is trying to be helpful, and states DS1 needs a diagnosis which we're just about to embark on another road for a 2nd opinion.
Anyone got experience of SPD/ODD? Would love to hear opinions. Thanks

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Ineedalife · 29/11/2011 17:33

Lol yes dawn we did try [girl] boxers once, she wore 1 pair out of the pack once for about 10 minutes and then declared she didn't like them.

Luckily I bought them from Primarni so they were really cheap.

We have recently discovered skirts from mini boden that have a stretchy waist and can be found on ebay for only a couple of pound she loves them.

It is hard to find nice things for her to wear now that she is getting bigger because everything has buttons. She mainly lives in jeggings and big hoodies.

Original poster
Jerbil · 29/11/2011 19:47

Thanks so much everyone. This thread like many others has been so helpful.

Yes, I've spoken to a few Mums who say their DC does this and that, I suppose it's when you multiply that by umpteen different things it then becomes an issue. Like OCD I suppose which isn't considered a problem until it affects functioning.

School are assessing him for literacy/numeracy. At least that's what they said 4 weeks ago. they say his numeracy has improved, but literacy he really struggles. Yet to hear anything but I don't know how long these things take. I've been told he's not severe enough to have an EP and though I disagree I understand these are like golddust. Our school has an excellent reputation for SEN, however, I am only just beginning to see sight of this (Year 1). DS1 does still not have an IEP - they say they are assessing him for one.

Outside of School he's been assessed privately: traits of DCD and sensory issues galore. 2 x psychologists working with him for eating disorder (not yet defined as anything other than food phobic), SALT keeping an eye - very literal, SALT - swallowing assessment next week. OT - long waiting list but as I said meeting next week to come up with a strategy.

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deaconblue · 29/11/2011 20:47

Jerbil, have you tried/heard of brushing to reduce sensitivity? Ds was very touch over sensitive- no labels and would pick at tiny spots on his skin til they bled and scarred (I lived in fear of chicken pox). We did brushing 3 times a day for 4 months and it made a massive difference. We got through chicken pox without a single scar and he never picks spots or scabs now. Labels still a problem but much less so. Google skin brushing for sensory processing disorder for info

coff33pot · 29/11/2011 21:28

DS hates socks, I also hate socks lol. To get him dressed I basically break the morning up and we do it in two halves. I start off with a mad dance and jig around or race to our drawers to get socks, vest, shoes etc. Then when we got them we start top half first. Then breakfast. After that we play bouncing and halve to bounce into our trousers (yes I can imagine you are laughing and so probably would the neighbours if my curtains were open Grin)

On a good day he will come home without socks, on a bad he wil come home minus the socks and his school shirt and just have his jumper on as it is fleecy.

Coats.........every coat he has I line with a hoodie fleece inside and so far he has coped with it.

M & S have nice boxer pants with flat if any seams in them. They cling to his skin but dont grip iyswim. I get his socks there too with hardly any seam but he will wear them inside out so that is something.

Soon as he gets home everything is ripped off and he runs round in a vest.

ouryve · 29/11/2011 21:36

Ineedalife - he's still wearing no more than his polo shirt on top for school. There's a nice, snuggly, warm sweatshirt (and if he wore that, I'd let him wear a lighter coat) but nope, he refuses to wear it, saying it looks silly. I wouldn't mind, but I had to hide them when it was hot in the summer!

DS2 seems to hte the feel of his school trousers (don't blame him) but at least he'll only taken them off at home.

Original poster
Jerbil · 29/11/2011 22:08

I wasn't sure about the brushing. I'd heard of it but didn't know if it was true so thanks.

ouyve - DS1 snap with the polo shirt. bought him a new top from Asda last night, no pictures, nice and soft, tried it on then came the opposition. so school polo shirt it was despite being own clothes day.

I'll be mainly going into Town tomorrow - looks like Next and M&S are favourites :-)

Any ideas why he can stand his football socks for a couple of hours?

cannot wait for OT on Monday!

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coff33pot · 29/11/2011 22:18

Are his footie socks loose Jerbil? Or does he do his boots up tight.

I buy larger ones for DS also which he is fine with and without elastic on the tops.

on the other idea I find if he has a pair that touches his toes then he seems to tighten and re tighten the velcro on his trainers till his feet have imprints on them.

Original poster
Jerbil · 29/11/2011 22:51

They are quite close fitting, not loose. I think loose fitting socks are worse cos they will slip and create bumps. He does have a rant at them and pulls them really tight so they are extremely snug. It was indoors tonight so trainers with velcro, and they're quite tight fitting. They are elasticated right the way through I think so the top is not different to the rest.

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Original poster
Jerbil · 30/11/2011 08:51

Thanks dolfrog - I will be reading with interest later :-)

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dolfrog · 02/12/2011 14:08

Jerbil

I was looking at a different topic when I found this research paper which you may find of some interest.
Co-occurrence of linguistic and behavioural difficulties in early childhood: a developmental psychopathology perspective

Original poster
Jerbil · 02/12/2011 23:00

Thanks dolfrog, amazing help! Had a power outage the other night when I was reading through stuff I had downloaded from your advice. Meet with Ot on monday - cannot wait! ;-)

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