my little boy

[kitegirl]

I have never posted on this forum before but I might be here a lot from now on. Ds, 22 months, suspected developmental delay, had my first chat with a specialist at the local Child Development Centre today on the back of a hearing test (fine). They are concerned about ds's lack of speech and inability to understand speech, we agreed that he should be plugged into the system as soon as possible for further assessment so that he can get the help he needs. On one hand I am so relieved that someone is taking my concerns seriously instead of the usual 'oh so-and-so's son did not speak until he was 45 but look at him now blah blah', but at the same time I am upset and worried. I can tell it's a multi-faceted issue, and not just a language problem, he is very withdrawn and doesn't like interacting with other children (he goes to nursery 1.5 days a week and the comments i get is 'ooh he just likes playing on his own), is very shy (in soft play yesterday he was just standing in the corner looking upset rather than diving in), and beyond pointing and making 'a a a' sound when he wants something, does not really communicate with us either.

I fear that this is somehow my fault, probably completely illogically. Last summer I went back to work after finishing a degree and we had a complete and utter disaster with childcare, three nannies/au pairs in five months, the first two stayed four weeks each and I could tell ds was not happy. I quit my job to be a SAHM in October but I cannot help thinking that all the upheaval has done this.

I am taking him to see his GP tomorrow. Today a special needs nursery was also suggested, I don't know what to think of that, if anyone has any experiences I would love to hear. The whole world of specialists, therapists, assessments, and medical institutions is so overwhelming. I just want him to have a happy life and to grow up to feel loved. My little boy - to me he is even more special now.

I guess what I am after is someone to tell me that everything will be ok, there is nothing to worry about and that ds will be fine....

Someone will be along soon with some advice for you, but just wanted to say, dont even think for a minute it is your fault, ITS NOT. Lots of parent have problems with childcare, please dont blame yourself. hope you get some answers soon

Bump

Hi Kitegirl,

My son was 3 on news years day has severe global develomental delay and hypotonia.
Does your son walk??
How well did he manage with milestones???

Dont worry about all the appointments as they are a formality to check out all possibilities of what could or couldnt be wrong.

You say he is 22months old, does he have any words or babble???

At the end of the day, you are bound to worry as his mother, but do not blame yourself for his speech delay, plenty of children have one.

Good luck

Butty.xxx

Hello.

Whatever happens, things will be OK, and your son will be fine... with children theres ALWAYS something to worry about so I can't offer any reassurance there.

Its good that your being listened to so early on, the sooner things are under investigation and any assistance and intervention needed is up and running the better.

Lots of children with language delays DO catch up, its just 'one of those things'

Sometimes its an indication of ASD, BUT right ow it would be impossible to say whats causing your sons problems, the only thing for sure is its NOTHING you've done.

Good luck with your GP.

My son is 3 anda half, he has ASD, he has weekly speech therapy anda special teacher goes into his pre school every week to work with him, and is working with teh staff so tehy can do teh same type of work with him ona daily basis, we see a clinical psych very few months, and teh pead 2-3 times a year. It keeps you busy!
He did for a whilst attend hte SN nursery run t the CDC but it was decided by the LEA thsat as he was also attending mainstream pre school he wasn't eligable to attend. It was though, a lovely place, they had 1:1 staff and children in a small group I think it was about 6 kids max per session he was only there about 8 weeks, and it wasn't long enough for any real impact to be made. BUT my sons almost a a year older then yours so policies would differ.

take care of yourself, and keep a record of EVERYTHING if you end up having a million assesent s with as many different peole you need to beable to answer the same set of questions time and again, it'll basically be everything ever from your pregnancy through to now...

GOOD LUCK!

emma x

Message withdrawn

Hi Kitegirl

First and foremost ((((((kitegirl)))))).

I feel for you I really do even though I am further down the line than you are (my son is now 7).

He was originally diagnosed with speech and language delay (the first sound he came out with was e-e-a) and development delay at 2 1/2. Like you I also have felt a great deal of guilt over this and have carried a lot of emotional pain. As the years have passed though I have managed to work through things and realise that it is just one of these things.

DS went to a developmental playgroup as well as preschool at 2 1/2 and this did him a great deal of good.

He is now in a mainstream school and is doing very well. He has extra support in school via a Statement of Special Needs. You would not know to hear him speak that he had a speech delay diagnosis (he still sees the speech therapist).

Good luck with the GP.

I wish both you and your son well.

Meerkats

thank you so much for your messages. Sometimes mumsnet is a real comfort blanket, isn't it... what did mothers do before MN - munch happy pills and climb the walls at home? It feels amazing to know there is support just at the end of the keyboard. xxx