Anyone else struggling between choosing MS or SS for Sept 2012?

[messmonster]

I've posted on this subject previously and had some really helpful replies but since this topic seems to be all I'm thinking about day and night at the moment, thought I'd post again and see if anyone else is struggling with making a decision on schooling - perhaps we can hold hands and support each other?

My DD (3.9) has a rare chromosome abnormality with GDD with particular delay in S&L. At the moment she has a dual placement - majority of time in a MS nursery and 2 sessions a week in a specialist preschool.

MS nursery say she's thriving and they recommend a MS setting for her. NHS SALT agrees. Specialist setting (who are not linked to any school btw) say there's no way she'd survive in a MS school and SS is the way to go. They think she's too delayed in all areas and would not cope after Reception and that she'd really struggle to make friends. I'm just totally and we have to let our LEA know this side of Christmas.

Think we will try MS because we want to give her the chance to do so but am also thinking we may defer her entry for a year - so that she could start in Reception in Sept 2013 - by which time we hope she will have more functional communication - either great Makaton or even some speech.

Anyone else struggling big time with this decision? I know it comes to us all at some point .

I can appreciate how hard it is. My dd now 6 ASD started part time at MS first then became full time the Summer term after she was five and then repeated reception. She is now in y1 and is doing very well. She is non verbal but her understanding is coming along well. She has great support and a very willing school. She has made friends and is very popular despite being very much behind her peers and having so much difficulty with her communication. I think if you have 1: 1 support for her, it might be worth a try. FWIW I think if I had asked some professionals they would have said she should go to special school. I am really glad she is where she is as she is doing well academically and socially. I did do a lot of looking round to choose the right school for her and we have thus far been very lucky with teachers and a fab TA. Good luck.

messmonster

Is there a Statement of special needs already in place for your DD?. I ask this due to her current split placement re MS and specialist preschool.

It may be as well that the LEA may not allow you to defer her entry into reception for a year.

TBH I'd be more inclined to take more notice of what the specialist setting are saying because they are currently thinking medium term, her mainstream nursery are clearly not thinking beyond reception (which is mainly play based; Y1 is when more formalised learning starts).

Thanks for the replies cansu and Attila. She does have a Statement already - we applied for SA as soon as she turned 2. Our LEA will allow us to defer if her EP agrees that there are sound educational reasons for doing so - not sure yet what we'd need to demonstrate to show this.

MS school is happy for her to defer if that is what we want but also mentioned that we could start her next year and she could repeat Reception if she needed to.

I'm inspired by your DD's experience cansu and my "gut" tells me that my DD's would be similar - she'd be attending our village primary where my DS (Yr 2) also attends which is a lovely, supportive community-minded school (albeit with very little experience of SN).

However, Attila's post is the other side of the coin - I worry that her delays are indicative of a fairly significant cognitive problem and that she may not cope after Reception and then she'd have all the upheaval of a move to a SS. So I have lots of doubts but, on balance, I think there's enough hope for me to want to give MS a try iyswim?

So hard!! Thank you both.

tbh i think it depends very much on the individual schools involved rather than a straight choice of MS V SS.
ds is 9 & is fully supported in a very small village ms primary. However it is very much down to the caring nature of the school & their willingness to learn & welcome outside support that has made the difference.

He did do a split preschool placement & the SS school was OK but actually far noiser & a busier environment than ms primary.

So look at all options & decide which school/class you think she would be best settled in.
Is a continued split palcement an option?

Her Paed did suggest a continuation of a split placement say 3 days in SS and 2 days in MS but we're not sure that would be the best option for her - it would be really confusing and unsettling I think to have 2 sets of uniforms, 2 sets of staff, 2 sets of classmates etc - I also think it would hamper her in getting the most from integrating within the MS environment.

It might be that if we try MS and it's not right then we could try a split as a way of transitioning at a later date.

The MS school is saying all the right things but I've booked a meeting with the HT for Monday to try to ascertain how willing she would be to send staff on suitable training courses etc. They're very willing to have her - positively encouraging in fact - but have no statemented children in the school at present and very limited past experience to draw on - so I need to be reassured that they're willing to match their enthusiasm with practical input.

I just can't see my DD in either of the 2 SS I've been to see but have been concerned that I'm maybe just not yet accepting reality and maybe that is where she will thrive best.

we are in the same boat, messmonster.

DD is 3.9, probably asd with severe s&l delay. EP says SS. paed and specialist Salt say MS and I lost my instinct of what is right by now. how on earth should I make such a decision if even the (so called) experts cannot agree

I started looking at schools now (MS, SS, MS with SS unit) and have a better idea which school I would prefer.

have you looked at schools yet? I found this my best guide in making the decision.

Hi chocjunkie glad to hear from someone in the same boat too . Our EP said there are children like my DD in MS and SS and wouldn't be pushed to make a recommendation.

I've viewed 2 SS and my village MS primary where my DS attends but no-where else. The MS with special units attached in our area wouldn't take DD because she's not ASD and has delayed not disordered speech so I've felt that my options were fairly limited (although I'm sure better than many). There doesn't appear to be a MS in this area that is known for its work with SN so I didn't feel it worth looking beyond our village school TBH.

When do you have to decide by and are you nearing a decision?

deadline for the school application in our area is mid january. we are going through the statementing process atm. I have been told that the statement would overwrite anything we put down on the school application for january so it does not matter that much what we put down as long as our preferred school is named in the statement. hope this makes sense

how delayed is your DS's speech? DD is just coming on in 2 and 3 word phrases and receptive probably 12-18 month behind. such an agonising decision to make!

Yes I get what you mean about the named school on the Statement. For us, with a Statement already they're telling us they want to allocate all the statemented children before the admissions deadline of mid jan and that's why we have to tell them before 31 December. I know I also have the option to delay her start till later in the year (she's not 5 till Feb 2013) but if she's going to go into the MS school, they usually only do 1 intake and I'd rather she started with everyone else.

My DD only has a handful of single words at present. Receptively she's doing well - although still a good 18 months behind. We think she has a voice production issue as well which could be hindering her expressive language but she has just started mimicking a lot of our sounds which is really encouraging. The handful of words she has are not that clear either tbh but she's also making progress with Makaton and is showing very clear desire to communicate which wasn't always the case.