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Original poster

xmas trees and kids with autism?

21 replies

yogabonkers · 20/11/2011 23:00

my autistic ds is 5, and every year my dh says we cant have an xmas tree in the living room cos he will pull it over/ pull things off it.

i just want to try!!!

if i just put lights on it i dont think he'd be too bothered.

obviously i know i cant have tinsel or glass baubles...

can i, should i, convince my dh?

does anyone else have xmas tree problems?

OP posts:

TheHouseMistress · 20/11/2011 23:31

You'll never know until you try :)
Ds completely ignores our christmas tree, tis a fake one. He is a prolific chewer and has never attempted to grab anything off it < the dog on the other hand is a git>

beautifulgirls · 20/11/2011 23:41

I guess a lot depends on him really and how he reacts. Without trying you won't know. DD#1 is now 7 (suspected AS) and has always been fine with our tree, but she is rigid to rules and knew the rules were don't touch.

Is there anywhere you could put it up that he will only be in there when you are maybe (stair gates up, that kind of thing)? That way he can have supervised access and you can gauge how he is with it. What has he been like with trees in the past when you have been out and about or at school/nursery??

Pixel · 20/11/2011 23:51

Ds has never bothered with the tree. We got plastic decorations just in case but he's never touched it.
You could suggest a compromise where you get a small artificial tree this year to put on a table or something and see how your ds reacts. Even if he pulled it over he surely wouldn't be able to do much damage? (and if he doesn't touch it you could have a bigger one next year!)

tabulahrasa · 21/11/2011 00:07

Does it matter if he pulls things off it or knocks it over - as long as there's nothing on it that can shatter, or cause any damage to him and it's not big enough for him to be trapped under...

It's not quite the same, but, my cats wreck my tree every year, lol, come to think of it, the DC had a go as well when they were toddlers. I just put up with it and occasionally try and make it look more like a Christmas tree and less like something delivered by a cyclone.

coff33pot · 21/11/2011 00:45

DS gets involved in decorating the tree, DH puts the lights on but the 3 kids do the decorating. There are no shiny balls just everything the kids have made over the years and what gets brought home this year. Because its their stuff they dont seem to touch it after that. DS likes to lie under it and watch the lights in the dark.

We are going to have to put it on a coffee table this year as the dog is now old enough to cock his leg on it!!!

brandy77 · 21/11/2011 07:18

my son with Aspergers is fine with the tree, although now we have a rather large rat cage in the "tree" corner, i dont know where we will put it!! He loves decorating it himself and we do have rather a lot of lights which fascinate him

intothewest · 21/11/2011 07:42

My DS has been fine with the tree..........but when it comes to getting rid of the tree after Christmas..............

chuckeyegg · 21/11/2011 08:35

My DH always told me that. Each year I've ignored him and done it anyway and DS loves the tree. I avoid anything breakable. He is really good with it, lights have to go out of his reach. He gets quite sad too when I take it down.

Enjoy your tree :)

ihatecbeebies · 21/11/2011 12:58

DS has always been fine with the christmas tree being there, as long as it isn't a surprise and he is involved with putting it up then he likes it there, but we've a strict 'no touching!!!' rule to stop him pulling things off (he used to pull the little decorative presents off and open them). I think you should put it up, if he pulls it down then put it away but at least you know for next year.

Ineedalife · 21/11/2011 14:53

Dd3 gets quite stressed when we put the decorations up and take them down, she doesn't like the changes in the living room, she also likes to put everything in the same place as last year and gets frustrated because I do move things around.

Once they are up she loves them, she does fiddle with the stuff on the tree but none of it is breakable so we let her.

Go for it, you can always take it down if it is a disaster.

saintlyjimjams · 21/11/2011 15:02

It's the time of year when ds1 will start dragging me down to the cellar to fetch the xmas tree. He likes it (and loves the lights).

chuckeyegg · 21/11/2011 15:58

I can also only put one chocolate decoration on the tree at a time, but I don't think that's to do with his autism. :)

halcyondays · 21/11/2011 16:07

My Xmas tree has been put up in a playpen every year since dd1 was born, for its own safety! They are 5 and 3 now, they love the tree but dd2 would probably still try to pull it over. Dd1, who has Aspergers, would probably not try and pull it down now.

Why not try putting up a tree with shatterproof baubles and see how it goes?

Triggles · 21/11/2011 17:46

DS2 always spends half his time trying to get ornaments off the tree to look at them, but he loves it when we turn the overhead light out and the tree lights on and watch them twinkle, so it's worth the hassle IMO.

cwtch4967 · 21/11/2011 18:14

DS was 3 last Christmas and we had no problems with him and the tree. He is a bit more lively now so not sure what will happen this year!
I tied the top of the tree (8 ft) to the curtain pole just to be on the safe side!

tibni · 21/11/2011 21:24

Ds has been asking for "happy christmas" for weeks now .

We have always put a tree up but have not had the glass decorations on since before the dc. ds likes to help and likes all the decorations in the smallest possible area.

Give it a go - you don't know till you try.

Triggles · 21/11/2011 21:28

Still remember DS2 pulling over the tree last year when he was 4yo. Tree on top of him, arms and legs sticking out waving wildly. I know, I shouldn't laugh but it was quite a picture. Thankfully not a huge or heavy tree and nothing breakable or that might have injured him. He gave the tree a fairly wide berth for all of a day maybe, then was right back to messing with it.

Dawndonna · 22/11/2011 09:44

Ds2 and Dd1 are fine with the tree. Dd2 fiddles with it, but it's okay, nothing breakable, and they enjoy it. Go for it! As others have said, you can always move it or take it down if there are problems.

5inthebed · 22/11/2011 09:58

DS2 loves the tree, but he does have a tendancy to touch the baubles and ornaments so we have strict rules on. We also don't have chocolates on as he eats them all in one go.

What about getting a small tree, the sort you can put on a table, and putting a few decorations on and see how he gets on?

Triggles · 22/11/2011 12:29

We put the Christmas tree up and leave it up for 24 hours. Then we add the lights and the next day we add the rest of the decorations. So it's actually a 3 day process. It seems to give DS2 a chance to adjust along the way. Don't know if that would be any easier for you? It gives DS2 the time to look at the tree itself, then adjust to the lights as well, then help with the ornaments, as he has roughly 24 hours between each step.

Pixel · 22/11/2011 18:50

I must admit I never gave much thought to whether we should have a tree or not, we just assumed we would. I suppose that's because we already had dd when he was born and there's no way I would deprive her of a Christmas tree, even if I had to find some way of making it ds proof.

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