I've made the decision to take son out of mainstream and into special education..

[molepom]

I have been increasingly unhappy with the school (mainstream) and the way they have delt with my son. Although they have done everything they can and have been supportive of us I know he needs more.

He's statemented and is receiving an awful lot of 1-1, in fact less than 6 hours a week are with the class as a whole or in a group.

He is increasingly upset, stressed, says he feels stupid, been told he is stupid by peers and classmates and that no-one plays with him and is on his own as people walk away from him.

He's ADHD and medicated and I'm pushing for an autism assessment as I'm sure he is autistic on top of it all. This has also been mentioned by the school on a couple of occations during statement meetings as well as admitting that they (the school) "has failed him". I wanted to cry.

I cant watch him go through this anymore and need to get him out of there and into something more specialised for him. I've typed a lengthy email to the local admissions team to either meet with me or call me about my options for him and I'm going to ask the school for a copy of his statement and the names and contact numbers of everyone he receives help from.

I have a feeling that the shit is going to hit the fan and I am going to have one hell of a battle on my hands getting him out of there because they will loose an awful lot of funding fuck em.

He's almost been begging me to help him and not go to school and to go to another one where an autistic child of a friend of ours goes, it's heart-breaking.

Has anyone else done this and if so please can you give me any tips?

Going through this too at the moment. You need to call am early statement review and request your local SN worker (I think) is present so you can discuss appropriateness of placement. If you can get an appointment with CAHMS/ ed psych/ paed to back up your concerns about his mental health being affected by staying in the school.

You will need to visit schools, state your preference and it will have to go to panel. You will have more luck if the school back you up though

Holding your hand

OK.

The next meeting with everyone is in January..I doubt I would get a meeting before then with everyone I need there as the main woman I need is understandably very busy. She's the main SN worker and is the one who pushed for his ADHD diagnosis in the first place. I was hoping to try to see how far I can go without the school knowing as I didnt want them to stop giving a shit or supporting him before we even get granted a place in a specialised school.

Thanks Hanaka..it's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. It's so hard.

It's horrible molepod I know. And you k iw it's going to end up like fighting fir the diagnosis. You're gonna be so caught up in the fight and when you finally win you'll be like 'why does he need a specialised school ' even though it's for the best.

It's crazy because it feels like fighting fir the best thing for your child but the last thing you actually want iyswim

Can you tell I'm half asleep? Sorry for the ridiculous amount of typos.

lol, dont worry about it. I'm so tired, upset and stressed I've had to cancel my bank card as I could not the remember the pin number I have had for 12 years, in order to get the emergency cash code so I could get money out of the bank.

I've done nothing but cry today as he's being so difficult, violent and I know it's because he's upset with school and is still having difficulties coming to terms about his dad leaving.

Typo's are that last thing I'm looking at. x

That sounds so so difficult I'm sure you're doing everything you can for him you just have to keep going. Do you have a social worker, any support for you.

molepom, we were in your position a while ago, dd3 started her ss in september and is doing so much better now. I know it doesn't sound good but if school are failing him and have said as much in statement meetings then that is excellent news for going towards a move, especially if that has been put in writing, that's the biggest part of the battle! Just make sure you have someone from the lea at the annual review so you can start to get the statement changed. Have you been to look round the ss and found out if they have space yet?

I'd also suggest an emergency review if things are that bad for him, especially if the ss you like has space. You should be able to get one sorted for within the next couple of weeks, you can request one yourself and say who you want to come along then it's up to them to get everyone together. We found parent partnership really helpful to us, what are they like where you are?

No Hanaka, I only started looking at social workers last night, it's just a matter of remembering that they are not going to take the kids away and are there to help us all. The support they may offer looks like it's worth it so I'm going to give them a ring later this week.

I havenmt even looked into the schools yet Ninja, I'm just finding out my options at the moment.

I have no idea what Parent Parnetship is, never mind what they are like.

this is parent partnership, your lea will have their own service.The problem is that they are supposed to work independently of the lea like our service does but in some areas they aren't as independent as they should be and give advice that the lea want them to.

i haven't any advice to give, i'm only at the very early stages of our journey, but wanted to offer my hand and shoulder too, molepom

it's so hard when you have to challenge a professional, what with us 'just' being parents and all - remember you are challenging the system mainly, and not SWs etc personally and gather your strength from there. Right behind you x

I was in a similar position as you and just de-registered ds from the mainstream school and said that I was home educating. This gave me breathing space to look into special schools and also other mainstream schools. The Liaison officer for HE has helped massively as have Parent Partnership to a certain extent. Ds is now being gradually introduced to a mainstream school with a greater understanding of SN. This is not possible for everyone, especially if you work, but you are legally bound to provide an education for your child NOT send them to school.

Have you contacted IPSEA or SEN:SOS who can help you through?

Good luck, it will be a hard road but keep your eye on your goal.

You need to find where you want him to go first. If it is maintained then that will be whole lot easier than non-maintained/private. Have a look round your local area - you will need to think about how far you are prepared to let him travel per day in a taxi (mine does an hour each way and I think that's about the limit personally) or if you would want him to board. there might be, as Lambskin has mentioned a better mainstream school for him or one with a unit attached. I wouldn't start asking for an early review until you have some idea about what you want and so you need to do research on that first.

Just succeeded in moving my ds this September after a long fight because school refused to support us.

Ds just couldn't cope with his school, he was not making progress, they were content to babysit him etc.

Do contact SOS!SEN or IPSEA.

Even if you are not sure where you want him to go, if it is going to be a fight, it might take a whole year so you can start the process now whilst looking for a place. You said he wants to go to the school that your friend's autistic child goes to - what is it like? What do you think of that school?

It will be easier to move your ds if the school agrees to support your move. If they insist that they can provide for your ds's needs, the LA will be more likely to want to keep him there. Do you have anything in writing from the school saying they have failed him? Even if school puts obstacles in your way, you can still move your ds - it might take a little longer, that's all.

You might want to start your paper trail now. Write everything. If you have a meeting, follow it up with an email. If you have a query, email it. Also remember if you do end up going to tribunal, these will be your records.

Good luck.