Not coping at the moment

[Dillydaydreaming]

In fact I am going up the wall and I am finding myself screaming at DS (ASD/ADHD) more and more. Feel so bad and ashamed about it. He is deliberately goading me at times as well and trying to get a rise out of me - too often he is succeeding.
I am at the point of exhaustion, he sleeps badly and often doesn't fall asleep until after 11pm, only settling about 20 mins before.
Paediatrician has no appointments until January even though he is supposed to be seen every 6 months - she is over worked.
Have just had the renewal form for DS DLA through - it's 30 pages long and I've asked the local special needs service for help with this. (You know the form I mean - the one which the DM says "simply fill in to get benefits").
DS's ASD is high functioning and so he can appear "normal" (until you spend a preiod of time with him). I am at the end of my teather to be honest and can't see the wood for the trees anymore.
Am seeing my GP next week about it all and also about DS's withholding his poo which usually ends in a massive poo once a week followed by a few episodes of faecal incontinence. Am going to ask for a referral to the children's continence service.
Is it worth me ringing social services disabilities team? Will they be interested given his ASD is high functioning?

Don't really know what to say, except for offering some emotional support. I think the best thing to do at this point is to take things apart one thing at a time and see what you NEED to deal with and what can be put off until you're better able to cope.

Paed appt - unless the paed is going to bring anything new and instantly relieving into the mix, waiting until January isn't a huge deal (at least for us). If he can't be seen until January, at least that's one less thing for you to deal with now. Put it on the shelf and it can be dealt with later.

DLA renewal - yes, that's obviously more of a priority. But make sure if you can get help filling it out, that you get help. No point stressing yourself out if going it on your own puts you over the edge. And the DM can piss off with their "simply fill it in to get benefits." The words "simply" and "DLA" just do NOT belong in the same sentence... EVER. Give yourself a reward to look forward to once you've completed it - even if it's just chocolate, wine or a hot bubble bath to enjoy it all in.

GP appointment - not until next week. Medium priority. Jot down anything you want to discuss as you think about it, and put it aside until the appointment. If you're anything like me, you tend to obsess about upcoming stuff and it's exhausting. I'm finding that writing it down and putting it aside allows me to mentally put it away until later, thus reducing my stress a bit.

As far as our DS's behaviour driving you spare, not sure what advice I can offer. I do try with DS2 to remind myself that he is actually NOT doing it to make me crazy (that's just an entertaining side effect I suppose ), and that it does NOT make me a bad mum to allow him some free time each day to do something he likes and obsesses over (such as laptop time or a much watched DVD) just to give me a few minutes to breathe and have a coffee or simply relax for a bit (or god help me, actually clean! ). That free time for him means free time for me... and that is something that maintains that sanity for just a bit longer IYSWIM.

OOooops!!! For someone who didn't know what to say, I rather bungled on for a while there. Sorry! Hope you feel a bit better soon!

oh, sorry and I don't know anything about ss disabilities team, so can't really answer that at all!

sigh.. typos... "our DS's behaviour" obviously should have been "your DS's behaviour" although I suppose that could be a Freudian slip - as my DS's behaviour can drive me spare as well.

Dilly I'm sorry you're finding it so hard at the moment. At times, I too scream and shout at my sons and I feel like the worst mother in the world for doing it. You are definitely not alone in that respect.

The sleeping badly thing is a killer. I really don't know how one of my sons keeps going. He's like the Duracell Bunny.

I would definitely ring the SS Disabilities Team. What have you got to lose? The best thing I ever did was get in touch with mine and they have always been entirely helpful and sympathetic.

The fact your son has high functioning ASD doesn't mean you are not entitled to help. You need support. Seek it out. I often get annoyed with people saying to me "well, he seems fine to me" after spending 10 minutes with one of my sons. I say "Live with him for a week, then tell me how you feel".

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon and get some help.

My DS has high functioning autism and we have a social worker from the multiple needs team.

We also have help from the learning disability nurses.

Thank you all so much for replying, I will ring the disabilities team tomorrow for support.

I am so so sorry you are going through this, it sounds like my life. Sending you very best wishes and hoping you soon get some help. I am contacting HomeStart today for some help - I don't know if that might be something you could try. Take care.

Thanks all - Annual Review for Statement was today and went well. Loads of support out there it seems, just need to get some of it in!

That's good! I think it can be so easy to be overwhelmed with all this stuff - paperwork, the isolation, the stress. Hope things get sorted for you quickly so you can destress a bit.