2nd appointment for ds sus ADHD with same stupid doctor!!!!!

[butty]

Hi,

As some of you are aware i have been having ongoing problems with my daughter for quite some time now!!

At the first appointment last year july after waiting 1 year, the first pead was instintive upon her behaviour sugeesting straight away that he suspected ADHD/possible borderline Aspergers of which i was thankful for as i knew she definately had a problem.

Unfortunately when the next appointment came through for the conners report results the first pead had left so had to see the new pead and to my surprise he said that chloe has no problems and that she is just a naughty child although she scored 10/10 for the home conners report, but due to her considerably good behaviour at school he had no doubt that she DOESN'T have ADHD.

Since the last appointment things have got much worse with her and at times have just wanted her to live with her dad as i cannot cope with her as cannot the rest of my family.

In december i demanded a second appointment with a different doctor, today i have had a phonecall from the school nurse to say that we have an appointment on the 3rd of Feb, but with the same stupid doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so angry as he is obviously a blinkin idiot with his head up his arse!!!!!!!!!!

Chloe was a nightmare at the last appointment and he topld me that i should try harder as a parent with her

What can i do to make him see that she isn't right in her bloody head???

My mum has said that she will come to the appointment as will my partner, but he doesnt want to involve the teacher till end of summer term, so i feel that i will be fobbed off again!!!!!!!

I dont know what else to do anymore, i went to the docs yesterday in tears only to find out that my heartburn and stomach ache is an ulcer which he says has been caused by stress and i am now on treatment for and he has upped my prozac to 3 a day.

He has told me to try and stay calm and that he is sorry that he cannot get involved as already with the school doc!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to rant, i have just about had enough, christmas has been crap and all i have seemed to do is cry, shout scream, smack and walk out of rooms.
I dont have anymore solutions to her behaviour but i know that she is driving me and my family insane!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

Oh no.

I think it's a good thing to take someone else with you. I go to the majority of appointments by myself but make sure that dh comes along every now and then as I'm sure I must sound a bit neurotic talking about ds2's latest episodes while he's sitting there looking like an innocent little cherub. Apart from being good moral support it also helps when you have someone else there backing you up and pointing out that you are in no way a bad mother. It's also a bit like having evidence from a witness.

Good luck. xxx

Cheers Coppertop,

I am determined that they will not let me down this time, they must be blind or plain stupid as she played up for them last time!!!!

I think that they dont like dx'ing as not enough specialists to deal with the problems!!!!

Butty.xxx

I agree that sometimes its essential to take someone else along. I pick and choose the appts I make DH come to but it really helps at the difficult/important ones. Could you ask the GP about a multi-disciplinary assessment via the local Child Development Centre? This may also be the same sodding Paed though

HELLO BUTTY HERE YOU ARE IVE FOUND YOU!!!

Sorry to hear that you are having problems with chloe and hope that you get somewhere when you see the paed.

Thanks guys,

In regards to the child development centre, i have been waiting to see the child phsyc for the last 2 years!!!

The only people that seemed to have been of any use are the pros involved with dylan as they can see how hard chloe is to handle so they referred me to home start of which is the only help that get with regards to both of the children

I just wish that the people involved with chloe would get off their behinds and do something of use.

She has had behaviour therapy through the local family centre but they have now discharged her as will only do 6 week assesment and as of yet the social services have still not contacted me about the disability support team regarding dylan and it has now been 8 months!!!!!!!!

Sorry to rant, i'm just getting really cheesed off with the whole situation.

Butty.xxx

Hi,

I have just got to work late after being called in by chloe's teacher!!!!!!!!
Yesterday, when i got home from work chloe was upset and when i asked her why she said that her teacher had shouted at her and made her upset!!
When i asked her why she refused to tell me, but i told her that if she was behaving in class that she wouldn't be shouted at!!!
Anyway, this morning the teacher asked if she could have a quiet word??
So on i went into a seperate room only to be told that chloe is starting to go off the rails in class, she never sits still, is constantly disrupting others etc..etc..
The teacher did tell chloe off yesterday, but she didn't shout and nor did chloe cry as she told me she did!!!!
She said that it has been going on for a while but as she seems to be getting worse rather than better that now is the time to inform me and the school doc
She said she would have said sooner but she thought that it could just be a phase and didn't want to cause any unneccesary atmosphere with our parent teacher relationship in case she was right and i was wrong about chloes behaviour being everywhere except school!!!!!

What should i do now?????

Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated!!!

Butty.xxx

TELL THE PAED, surely he will now have to take notice, if the school are saying that Chloes behaviour is getting worse in school he cant ignore them, hopefully you might get something positive out of this in regards to help for Chloe.

Jen
xx

The problem is that the school nurse has told me that the doc wont take the schools input till the end of summer term as they will only carry out the conners reports on a yearly basis!!!!!!
I feel as though i am stuck in a rutt as i can never seem to do anything about her behaviour and yet those that are meant to be helping just seem to fob me off big time.

Butty.xxx

I'm sure that's illegal! If they only do Connors once a year then they need to do something else in the meantime. I've never heard such rubbish, do they expect children with SN to become obvious/known once a year all at the same time? And then they have to assess them all at once? You MUST speak to Parent Partnership or IPSEA or anyone. Someone else on MN must have some ideas!!!

Oh yes butty why didnt i think-Parent Partnership, thats the ONLY way we have got DS school to sit up and take notice.

Parent Partnership come across this thing all the time, they will go with you to school meetings and they speak up for you, when we had the meeting with DS school they were trying to get away without even putting Ds on the special needs register-parent partnership insisted that he go on that.

They are really good.

thanks for that, i will contact them on friday afternoon when i get some time to myself as rather hectic at the moment.
I am seeing the behaviour therapy team this afternoon with chloe for the outcome of their assesment on her, they have told me that she may benefit along with myself doing a parent child class!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!
I am fed up of all this non remedial crap!!!!
I feel like they are trying to put chloes behasviour down to me as they have said that it might teach me to be calmer but yet more firmer with her!!!!!!!!!!! I am really beginning to think that no one at all is listening to a word that i say!!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

Thats just their way of brushing the problem under the carpet trying to blame you, i had this with DS "do you think he is putting this behaviour on for your benefit"?, Erm no, i dont know any child that willingly spends all night sat by the side of the toilet while he continually empties his stomach one way or the other, again Parent Partnership backed me up as they have had dealings with kids with HFA and how they act or cope with problems, i bet you,ll find that PP have seen all this before what you are chloe are going through and they will help you get this across to the silly people who are not listening to you.

Jen
XX

What really annoys me is the assumption that if you ARE finding it hard to cope and/or you're stressed, then that is causing the behaviour. Erm maybe, just maybe, its the other way round?

Butty, I can imagine your anger to be advised to go on a parenting course to manage your dd's behaviour when it is apparent that your dd's behaviour is down to her ADHD rather than your method of parenting. This is exactly what happened to me a few years ago just before my ds got his diagnosis. They kept harping on about doing reward charts etc, fat load of good that was when my ds couldn't even make the connection between getting a gold sticker with good behaviour, he couldn't even communicate for gods sake. I know how blimen annoying it can be when others suggest that the difficult behavior could be down to your way of parenting. Don't let them fob you off