FFS - I want to scream at the school.

[MincePieFlavouredVoidka]

DS's lovely TA wasnt in school after 11am, so he had a different one.

He doesnt like eating in the hall with all the other children as its too noisy and busy.

When I picked him up I could see he had been crying. Other TA says 'I know he normally eats in the classroom but we thought we could try him in the hall today, he kicked off at first but he did calm down eventually'

Now he is sat on the sofa withdrawn and upset. I am drafting an email to the head, who's idea this was.

So he had to cope with a different TA and then a new lunch routine being introduced?!

Fools.

Hope the rest of the day is better for you both.

I'm a bit torn on this. On one hand, it's frustrating to have someone new come in and upset the routine. On the other hand, sometimes things have to be tried occasionally to see if they are more receptive to a small change at some point.

I think in this instance, I would be annoyed, but I think I would speak to the regular TA and find out if this is going to be something they are looking at doing more regularly or if it was simply an error or a one off by the substitute TA.

That being said, DS2's school doesn't seem to like to try anything new during the month before Christmas as things are already in such an uproar that he doesn't tolerate changes well.

Yup, I talked right around in a circle on that one. Not much help, I know. I do think it's important occasionally to attempt to introduce a change occasionally, however, it may have come better with the usual TA, unless they felt he might be more receptive to a change with someone else that he doesn't associate with his normal routine.

It's a tough one, really.

sorry, too many "occasionally"s on that post. distracted by a loose key on my keyboard

Ds2 is 16. He has never had to eat in the lunch hall. Why should he have to fit in with everybody else, because it's convenient for them?
He does mix at lunchtime, but afterwards because the noise, lights and smells are too much for him.

Correct way to do it?

When they came to the conclusion that they wanted your son to try being in the hall would be to perhaps ask him to or arrange to invite a child to join him to eat with him in the quiet for a week and perhaps slowly increase the number. THEN maybe if he felt comfortable over a couple weeks and had people to look out for and sit with then try the hall?

Do have a different teacher and then get thrown to the lions (which if it was my DS would be exactly how he would feel) is a rotten thing to do

To have.......I really am only on tea

And he is only 4 :(

He has been so withdrawn all afternoon. He didnt eat any of his dinner at school and was starving when he got home.

Bless him :(

Good thing is that it is the weekend so he will have time to chill and relax with you :) Trouble is if it was mine I know he wouldnt forget and would just either kick off about going to school or run for it when the dinner bell goes the next time round.

I hope you get a suitable reply from the HT!

The dinner hall was the one and only thing which was dealt with sensibly at Dd3's old school. She started off in the classroom and then sat at a table outside the hall with 3 other children, the table was moved closer to the doors, the the doors were left open.

At the end of the term she was intergrated into the hall, she still didn't like it much but she could handle it.

That was the only thing they did right though, the rest was crap!!

Mincepie... it was a ridiculous idea to just shove your Ds in the hall without preparation, you are going to have to keep an eye on them. I suspect that they think they know what they are doing.

I would be annoyed as I think this fits in with the ignorant train of thought that these children can be 'made' to fit in and that all it takes is a firm hand. As if we are somehow enabling their difficulties, or pandering to them by making adjustments for their differences.

Now, I might be doing school a disservice and they may have had a grand plan but it doesn't look like it does it? I agree with needalife that the worst thing is that may think they know what they are doing. So often they will then use this as evidence that a child can do things as they are not interested in the personal cost to the child of their actions. It's like - look, we made X do this, and there was no problem...

If you don't have a child who lashes out or runs away, there is no consequence to them for the things they do.

I am all for trying new situations, new things, new people. My son is 8, and has AS and I have had to push back boundaries for him constantly, but little by little, and make him step outside his comfort zone in so doing but this takes planning and support and not the rug pulled from underneath him. I had many experiences of this in his last school and it was stressful and draining.