Confused by Parents Evening

[voodoobarbie]

ds 7 Yr 3(possible AS) had parents evening last night.

Everything his teacher said about him contradicted everything his previous teachers and EP have said.

He is a popular and respected member of the class The truth is that he doesn't have a single friend and never has. He isn't one of the kids who is alone on the playground and looking for someone to play with, he is quite happy in his own company, skipping around alone and talking to himself. He doesn't get teased by those in his class but has been teased by oler boys on and off since Y1.

He puts his hand up all the time, contributes to class discussion both the EP (May 2011) and class teacher last year commented that unless asked a direct question he doesn't speak other than to interrupt with info about his current obsession (although sometimes he says worrying things, class teacher). During group work he ignored his partner and worked alone. Doesn't know how to ask for help.

He works independently without help at home hwork is a nightmare, I have to keep him on task, reassure him constantly and he has told me he is scared all the time in class in case he gets his work wrong.

He loves PE he has gross motor skill problems, cries on the mornings of PE, tells me he hates PE and if they are using Gym equipment tells me they are making him do dangerous things.

I really don't know what to think, I am happy his parents evening was positive and don't want to sound as if i am wanting things to be negative but the aspects of him she discussed just didn't sound like the ds I know or what has been said about him previously. In reports that discuss the questionnaire completed by school last year it mentions severe problems.

We are due to go for a private assessment in 3 weeks and now I am doubting myself, maybe he was just delayed and is now catching up.

I was planning on dropping the bombshell that I was going to apply for a statement but didn't feel I had a leg to stand on. School were not aware of this. I just don't know what to think.

Can you ask for someone else to view him and give you an opinion? Because it seems strange that there has been such a turn around. It could be just the current class teacher has helped him or he's just suddenly moved on, but I think I'd want confirmation.
If you could get someone to observe him, perhaps writing down every 5 minutes what he's doing, is he on task, has he answered a question etc.

They're not trying to contest the statement and laying the foundations are they? I know you said you haven't told them, but maybe they're suspicious.

Did you check they had the right child? I think that would have been my first response. My ILs had a parents evening where they came out from one teacher and realised that they'd talked about a different child (confirmed later by the teacher )

She deffo didn't match me up with the wrong child as she commented that she often watches him on the playground alone but skipping around quite happily, and that she was going to arrange some playground games to try and encourage him to play.

I did mention about PE and how much he must have improved as he was having weekly physio till July, never took part in sports day etc and that he has told me he is scared in class all the time. I just felt that I was being negative so I just shut up after that.

Would not just go by what his teacher has told you bearing in mind the mass of previous evidence you've both seen and heard. This person's scant knowledge of your son is a dangerous thing. Not surprising really, many teachers are certainly not trained when it comes to any sort of special needs.

I would also attend the assessment taking place in three weeks time. You could kick yourself otherwise.

Re the statement; certainly apply for it asap.

Definitely go to the assessment, DS was always 'fine' in school until he had his dx, then they started being more honest.