mixed feelings about dd1 parents evening

[lisad123]

She in year 4, and her teacher is a very sweet man, very quiet but we do talk alot at the door in the morning.
He said its like having a year 6 child in his class when he looks at her work, but he is careful about how much to expand her work as her anixety about failure is huge :( He said she is often left to cry as she always gets upset when she gets an answer wrong, no matter how careful he is with his words but finds that if he goes to her, she takes longer to settle (we have same at home).
He said she is a lovely girl, very polite but can come across as rude sometimes but most people know she isnt trying to be.
He said that he knows she can do her times tables but they have these things called turbo tables, and have to complete within a mintue to get onto next stage. She cant write quickly, so isnt moving on. I have suggested he tries verbal testing instead
Shes very obbessive about one friend and we have both agreed they need to try and branch her out in friendships, which is going to be hard going.

I just see her potentional, she is an amazing girl with a huge brain and could do so well but this bloodly autism rules her little life and the anixety has such a hold over her its heart breaking :(

I know what you mean lisad, my Dd3 is in a similar situation, she has really high expectations of herself and then gets really upset if she can't meet them.

She has a very spikey profile and is really good at some things and really struggles with others. It is usually when it is not concrete, such as creative writing that she struggles. Handwriting is a problem too due to hypermobility.

It sounds as if the teacher is at least tryng to be supportive even if he isn't getting it right all the time.

Dd3 has been struggling really badly with her separation anxiety lately but the SENCO is being really helpful, she has also put her in the nurture group to try to improve her social skills. It is really to see them struggling isnt it.

:( hugs x

Ok so times tables. She knows it but cant write fast enough. Its a bit cruel of the teacher to leave her hanging behind just because of her writing. He would do better to build up her self esteem by perhaps saying ok type the answers out. That will at least keep her on par with her peers (she is already by knowing the tables) Just a little adaption could go a long way.

He said he is afraid to expand her work because of her anxiety. How would she take and expansion from you? If the teacher liased with you on what he is intending to press her further with well in advance. If the odd homework involved this maybe a few practice runs unknowing to her? Then give the teacher a nod and get him to mention this expansion. She is already prepared and it wont be so scary?

Either that or he basically tells you and you explain it in the way you know she will accept it.

Friendship branch outs...........can they arrange group work (I mean paint a picture on playground wall or even rubbish collection on a keep school tidy week anything really) at play or break times with perhaps two other kids who they feel would be compatible and caring of her worries. Put her actual friend in another group. Emphasise how they worked so well together etc.

Dont know if this is useful or not but dont like to see anyone miserable. x

Lisa - What have you done to help reduce her anxiety?

• Exercise?
• Sleep?
• A hot bath ever night?
• Epsom Bath Salts?
• Diet? (reducing sugar? additives? gluten? dairy? )
• Multivitamins?
• Zinc?
• Magnesium?
• Omega Fish Oil?
• Probiotics?
• Disconnected Kids?
• Tinsley House?
• Retained Reflex Therapy?
• Auditory Integration Training?
• Sensory Integration Therapy?

None of these things are a magic cure. But all of them help a bit - some of them help a lot. If you try a lot of things you will be able to significantly reduce her anxiety.

I've done all of the above (besides disconnected kids) - and DSs anxiety no longer ruins his life.

Don't ever believe there is nothing you can do. There is heaps you can do.

It's school which can't do anything else......

I forgot

• Mud Baths
• Reflexology

We do a fair amount of that's.
She does exercise a lot including swimming, horseriding and gymnastics.
She's quite limited on her food
Probiotic are always in
Sensory and audio therapy done at home
Do want to look at cbt