ASD ds in mainstream problems

[messymama]

Ds started mainstream reception in September. I was worried about mainstream suitability but told ds was too bright for a statement so see what happens (have to fail first). First half term looked ok - hardly any feedback from school but ds seemed positive and appeared to be learning.

Since returning after half term he has become withdrawn, has increased tantrums massively and is back to aggressive behaviour at home. Ds has also picked up a new obsession and is scared to be on his own (even going to the toilet is a family outing now). What is worrying us most is our very excitable and energetic ds is now choosing to sit next to the teacher all the time (the rest of the class spend most of the day roaming the classroom in free flow play). Teacher does not think there is any problem but TA does. Need advice on what to do next. I feel so guilty for having put him in a situation he cannot cope with.

I have the same problem with the behaviour change at home, the school think it is I'm not managing his behaviour at home, I would agree but that does not help me cope, and my son is 12 they tell me he is turning into a teenager and that amplifies everything.

Dont feel guilty, he could well cope given the right support :)

My DS is bright as a button but still has a statement. It is nothing to do with intelligence its to do with coping in a school environment and what he needs to do it.

Teacher is not helping for a start by allowing him to just sit by her. My DS would be deliberately awkward just to get the Teachers attention when he was young and so he would get to sit at her desk.

Keep asking the TA about his day and make notes for your info. Ask her each day who he has played with or interacted with and then have a meeting with the senco to ask them what they intend to put into place to help him interact with the children rather than the teacher. Also make a diary of his good days and bad days at home. If his temperament is changing he could well be not coping or storing up all his energy to keep it together in school.

It sometimes is a watch and wait game in schools, but the more info you are armed with the more you have to back up your concerns. :)

All this aside you can apply for a statement yourself and the IPSEA website has template letters and info to tell you how to do it.

There's no such thing as too bright for a statement. DS1 is very possibly the most intelligent kid in his school, but he needs a 1:1 for safety as well as to keep him on task (or if that's impossible, supervised while he does his own DS1 thing).

Coffeepot has some good advice. The key thing with a statement is to think about what it can achieve that your DS can't have without one.

Too bright for a statement? Possibly the most ridiculous thing for them to say ever. Sadly, it seems this information appears to be trotted out on a regular basis to parents, with parents being told that there is no chance of a statement until their child is X amount of years behind his peers.

DS2 is well ahead of his peers in maths and reading, but has a statement. There was never any question about where he was academically affecting whether or not he got a statement. The statement was applied for and received during his reception year.

Hi Messymama,

re your comment:-

"but told ds was too bright for a statement so see what happens (have to fail first)".

Actually the only criteria for a statement is need of one. This is the a variation of the usual lines trotted out; actually my friend was told this and she initially believed it. Who on earth told you that; this person should be ashamed of themselves. You were told a lot of old bunkum designed to put parents off from applying for a statement. Your son needs a statement and asap.

Apply for a statement yourself and now and ignore the naysayers. Use IPSEA's website if you're wondering what to write and give the LEA six weeks to apply. It may well sound daunting but all this is really necessary because its not going to get any easier for him in school.

It can all fall apart at school because the child's additional support needs there are not being met. Many teachers as well are not at all trained when it comes to the wide range of SEN so is acting out of ignorance. Keep talking to the TA and gather evidence. Is the SENCO aware of your son?.

You are your child's best and only advocate here messymama. No-one else is better placed than you to fight his corner for him; this is because no-one else actually will.

Get in touch with your local parent partnership. Your child is entitled to a statement, doesn't matter how bright he is.

Start by making an appointment with the SENCO.

Hopefully she'll see a problem with him sticking by the teacher all day, and start to investigate things more.

Thanks for all the information. The rapid change in ds gave us a real shake up after foolishly thinking things were getting easier after a run of reasonably predictable behaviour and I had even considered getting day time hours work instead of evenings. Now it looks like the beginning of another mission! Have rung ds OT to help with school as unfortunately new change of SENCO at beginning of half term has not even met ds yet (large school).

My DS is 11 and has only had his DX of ASD for 7 months.

I wish looking back when in Yr 4 and his teacher made him out to be a right royal PITA for following her around the classroom all day long we/they had realised this was caused by him being very very anxious (major sign of ASD)and was his only way of coping. Even now he will cling to me at times of stress particulary when out in public, if I had a £1 for everytime a so called friend asked me wasnt it time to cut the apron strings I would be a rich woman :( (as if I hadnt tried!)

He has just started MS secondary school and will take himself off to sit with his head of pastoral care when he feels he is not coping (at anytime but usually breaktimes when its noisy and he needs a bolt hole). I often feel guilty that I making him do everyday things that cause him distress and upset but I have to say hand on heart he is learning to cope with change etc and realises that he has to use other people as his support network when I'm not around such as at school.

I guess what I'm saying is please dont encourage your DS not to or tell him its wrong to sit with the teacher all the time but try and address the specifics of why he feels the need to do this. This is his way of coping, school probably dont realise that he is distressed and thats why he is doing it.

I thought about changing jobs during the summer as for a brief time things seemed easier but now realise that for every step forward we take we can then take four back and that will never change.

Hugs