Could difficult 10 yr old DS have Aspergers?

[lunaticow]

He is slightly odd and always has been. He has always embarrassed me at social gatherings as he doesn't quite know how to behave. Nothing major just interrupting adult conversations constantly with something "important" or attention seeking behaviour like making jokes when it is not really the right time. When he was younger he was constantly pushing other kids over and hitting them. Partly, I think he has spatial issues. He cannot walk in a straight line and trips others up by stepping in front of them. His room is an absolute tip. He goes through phases of misbehaving at school but cannot understand what he has done wrong. He is constantly challenging at home by annoying his brothers and me; seemingly deliberately. He gets obsessed with things and expects others to be involved with his obsession and gets angry if people don't do what he wants them to.

He will only eat really plain food from a very limited range.

He is severely dyslexic but otherwise quite bright.

He over-reacts to challenging situations and hates change. For example, he went crazy when I got an au pair. He is also obsessed about not being late for school and leaves the house extra early. He would totally freak out if he was late. He has tantrums..

Apart from this he is quite a nice boy! He has a good set of friends and is sociable. He enjoys Scouts and football (although goal keeping is one of his obsessions and he will not play out field).

In summary, he is just difficult, slightly eccentric and very highly strung.

I don't know if I should just continue with normal disipline or if I should read up on Aspergers and try and help him in "alternative" ways. I don't want a diagnosis as he functions just about OK socially and educationally.

Any advice please? Thanks.

I agree it sounds very much like AS. DS is currently under assessment for AS amongst other things. Regards to eye contact, it is not stamped in gold that this has to be one of the traits. DS uses eye contact in an unusual way. If it interests him I get eye contact, if it doesnt I dont. He will not engage in eye contact with teachers or proffessionals in conversation unless it is about his subject BUT if he is analysing you he will give you one hell of a uncomfortable stare with no facial expression. You could perceive that as eye contact but it is unusual.

He worries about weather, wind, rain. Worries about school, not at all bothered about friendship keeping. He has none apart from one boy occasionally visiting but classes everyone he walks past as "my friend" even though he wont talk to them. But he is only 6 and I think when peer pressure really kicks in when he is older he is going to have major issues.

Get him assessed, it wont hurt and they wont just dx him for the sake of it TRUST ME I have been fighting for long enough so far. You know your son and it is your own instinct that is important, not what other people think. If they think you are paranoid, let them if it gets results at the end that gets your son support.

And as for a dx lowering the schools expectations of him........that is also not always the case but you dont have to let it happen. You can get additional help at home for revision and you can insist and pay for GCSE's even if the school wont. The way to think of it is without support in senior school he could end up with nothing at all due to not coping and still spend life struggling after school age. With support he could achieve so much more and during that time learn coping stratagies that will help him throughout his future ...................:)

Also as for the "I want him to be normal"...............He is.

He was born, he gets up in the morning, eats, drinks and communicates in his own way, just like anyone else. Like any other child he has his own aims and goals in life. Just a few extra goals than most and a bit of extra tuition, support and understanding to get there. :)

I got him to watch the Newsround Special on kids with AS last night. He said he feels like "Ben the Bear" - one of the children in it. He seemed happy enough for me to get him assessed. I think it might help him to understand and manage his behaviour if he knows there is some reason behind it. He also explained his fear of food to me. I don't understand that bit myself but I suppose I wouldn't.

Wow, lunatic, what a big step forward for you all. I am glad you watched that newsround with your Ds because it has given you the oppotunity to discuss his issues with him.

You should definatly[sp?] go to your GP and ask to be referred for assessment.

Good luck.

Hope you get somewhere with assessment as the reply you put about talking and not looking at you strikes a chord and it took a big change for me to stop saying look at me all the time and just accept that the energy of trying to look in the eye can mean they can't concentrate on what you are saying as there is so much information transmitted from eye contact it overwhelmes them and can feel uncomfortable almost painful. not settling to sleep adn staying asleep can be difficult for them too. I hope you get a good outcome and the extra knowledge helps your family and your son.