can anyone reccomend a special needs course, website or book for parents?

[Ronifromwales]

I have decided to give up work to give my ds, who is 4.7yrs more attention and home support. I currently work full time and my dh does everything, on top of his more flexible full time job. I leave home early when they are asleep and arrive nearly at 6pm when they're tired. I've also got a 6yr old daughter who is in mainstream. My ds who has got special needs is so delayed and needs to learn the basic skills still. I have to admit that I perhaps hid behind a full time job to mask my fear of handling the situation... :( but I have realised that I'm the key missing piece in the puzzle. Dh says I haven't got a bond with him. I don't know what to do with him when the tv is off?! now that I will be on this career break, break I want to help him and develop a bond. Suggestions of what I can do will be welcome.

follow his lead. Whatever he does, you do. If he smiles you smile, if he bangs, you bang. You need to reach him first thing and show him that he can provoke reactions in you.
As for speech I highly recommed the hanen course called more than words
Ask the proffessionals involved with him too.

I suppose it depends on particular sn your ds has, but there is a lot of wisdom in movement for brain development, esp in boys. This doesn't mean gym classes, but any simple physical exercises, symmetrical movement, working on gross and fine motor skills. Would say limit tv, as apparently young brain doesn't learn much from it. You might also involve him in foods as good diet is crucial, sn or not.
Good luck :)

have a look at this, there are 3 books listed at the end

We did son-rise, and loved it; lots of ideas and info on their website, and it's a parent- led programme so if you're looking for something to get stuck into it might be for you. Ds2 has autism, but the games and development model would be helpful for any delay, I think. I agree with Lisa, be led by him.

Do you feel like you dont understand your DS's condition, is that why you dont have a bond?

Maybe if you tell us what his needs and problems are then we could come up with better suggestions. For example if his problem is speech, then lots of us would recommend a Hanen programme, or if he has ASD then the NAS Earlybird programme is thought of quite highly on here.

What does he like doing? If he s a physical boy then he will love anything that gives him the opportunity to be physical. Let him guide you to what he likes to do.

Does he get any outside help from Portage or any other agency like that? Is he in school?

yy fully recommend hanen. if the courses don't run locally, then it's still worth getting hold of a book. and check out your local library, have a flick through their book collection on autism/play etc, to see if there's anything you might find useful. try and cut back on tv, I know it's hard when you have a difficult child who loves telly, but it's not good when they are struggling with language. possibly get some educational dvds - alphabet/maths etc type ones, or even ones geared to language delay (baby bumblebee etc) to stick on instead.

In terms of bonding - what are his favourite places to go? If you meet him 90% of the way, by doing stuff he likes/is interested in then that makes it easier to communicate. my DS loved the zoo, so we got membership to that, and did that instead of soft play.