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Teaching assistant telling my son to lie..

4 replies

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 10/11/2011 19:50

I am a bit cross to put it mildly!

DS is 14, has autism and moderate learning difficulties.. in special school unit.
I recently found that he has been ONLY ever eating pasta for lunch..bought at the mainstream restaurant the schools share. I asked his teacher and TA to make sure he picks something else a couple of times a week as a) it's not worth the money b) they do great food and I'd like him to have a balanced diet! DS was ok with that.. he said he got pasta because he thought he had to order other food (thats what they do when he is in the special school part and he doed half and half)

Anyway today.. restaurant shut so he is taken to the co op to buy lunch..fine.. life skills etc. He bought pasta because he doesn't like sandwiches. I KNOW that and obviously that's fine today.
But when he came home I asked him what he'd had to eat today (just trying to get him to talk about his day) and he looked scared then said ,

'XX (TA) told me to say I had sandwiches, cos I had pasta.XX said I need to learn to lie'

He was VERY upset when he said this.

I am so cross! DS has never lied because he just doesn't know how..(so why XX thought he would I don't know.. she has worked with him for 6 years!!)
XX also KNOWS I wouldn't be cross with him having pasta today when there wasn't a decent alternative.. because I bloody work there too.. we share a staffroom!

I don't WANT anyone telling him he needs to learn to lie.. one day he will be living in a supported flat or similar and if he is to be safe and semi independent he needs to know that NO-ONE should be making him lie for them!

I need to compose a short but pithy comment in his school diary as I may not see XX tomorrow... suggestions please!

OP posts:
coff33pot · 10/11/2011 20:06

something along the lines of " tell the TA not to bump her nose on the oposite wall, pinnochio nose grew very big you know"

Make him a packed lunch 3 days out of the 5 so he gets a bit of variety. Doesnt she know kids tell it like it is or as the convo with the teacher goes. Bless him I bet he felt really uncomfortable.

MangoMonster · 10/11/2011 20:13

That's not good, but perhaps they were joking, although obviously still not good or helpful.

PoopyFingers · 11/11/2011 09:49

I would write and complain formally, a note in the diary really isn't going to make any difference.

How unprofessional. Doesn't this TA realise how stressful your life is?

imogengladheart · 11/11/2011 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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