Can you help? Can teachers make formal complaints against pupils?

[starfish71]

Hi, very quick as have to dash out for a hour but DS1 (dyspraxia, ASD?) came home today and told me his teacher has put in a formal complaint against him.

During lesson another pupil paid for a new book and handed money to teacher. DS1 said - Why are you putting that money in your purse Miss?

Teacher is aware of all his issues but does not understand or make allowances, lots of clashes.

DS1 was then called out of next lesson, thinking it had all been sorted, he told her he was not accusing her of anything and told by senior teacher that she has put a complaint in against him.

Will give further details later but any quick advice?? please

Ask for a written copy of the complaint against him ASAP. Then you know exactly what you are fighting. How old is your DS?
The teacher's action sounds ridiculous if the facts are as your son has stated.

Get the story from the other side first. Who said the word 'formal', the teacher or ds? Sounds an odd situation.

Email, that will give you a written record. Don't phone, you need to work on evidence.
Teachers have the right to raise a formal concern with their line manager or head if they are having serious issues with a pupil.

Right, back again. DS is 13 and in year 8. As well as the dyspraxia he has social communication difficulties and due to be reassessed by CAMHS, EP going into school later this month and ASD outreach going in too.

DS has said that after he said the comment to teacher she called another teacher (who knows DS quite well) into class and went through what DS had said. Other teacher said I know DS didn't mean anything by it, he is a good boy and said to DS 'ok then so we are ok now, no more issues?' DS said no and other teacher left the room. DS's teacher then continued to go on about how offended she was til the end of lesson and DS repeated that he was not accusing her of another. DS said it as he saw it and although he shouldn't have said anything, he did but meant no harm.

As I said DS was then in next lesson and was called out by senior staff member (head of year was on a training course today) and showed DS a letter that teacher had written to her and that she has made a formal complaint against him. DS didn't get to read the letter and was told the very least he could do is write a letter of apology.

I have heard nothing from school, I rang secretary when DS came home and asked for Head of year to ring me urgently first thing in morning. I am going to send her an email also asking actually what is going on.

This same teacher told my DS last month that she doesn't like him and other teachers also dislike him. I made a complaint but she denied it and to be fair to my DS he has gone back to her lessons and tried to get along with her. Obviously hasn't worked.

He has her for lesson 3 tomorrow and to be honest until this is sorted out and I know what is going on am tempted to keep him home tomorrow and definitely not allow him into her lessons.

Really upset as he is having a hard enough time (as are all the family) as it is

accusing her of anything

What a wet weekend! makes me wonder if she is guilty of something if she is so adamant to not let this lie.

I would ask DS the name of the other teacher that came into the class to mediate and get the facts from her.

On the face of it she is being ridiculous and has lost all sense of perspective in dealing with your son, which is causing her to over-react to petty things.
I can't over-emphasise the importance of putting things into some sort of written form, and insist that they do the same. If you have a conversation, follow it up with an email restating what was said.
Do not let them work you and yours up into a panic by threats. Contact the inclusion team for your LEA and ask them for advice as this is a direct consequence of your son's SN. Stay calm and line up your ammunition.

Agree with downbytheriverside, sorry you're having to deal with such a ridiculous misunderstanding, must be very exasperating.

Starfish

Can only echo what you've been told by the others re phone and written communication following up any phone calls you make.

It sounds like this teacher is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill and it also sounds like she's got it in for him.

Starfish - is your DS statemented?.

Seems a lot of fuss about nothing from what your DS has said but I would check first with regards to what has exactly gone on and whether a complaint has been made at all.

It could be that the teacher is covering their back - ie comment made that they feel might be suggesting they are pocketing school money - and the "official" note is merely to highlight the conversation and to say that she was not taking the momey for herself.

But if the teacher has made a complaint I can't see it going far seeing as another teacher has already been involved, and the matter had been sorted out at the time.

Thank you all, am composing my email now. Thanks coff3pot I do have the name of the teacher who came in (he is lovely and understands DS). DownbytheRiverside will ask the see the complaint and will request that in the email.

My shoulders are soo tense tonight.

Thank you and I will let you know what happens.

Atilla no DS hasn't got a statement, did apply in last year of primary but refused and was hopeful that school could provide a good support for him. All was ok in first year but since starting year 8 has not been very good.

Hulababy I am writing email stating that this is what DS has reported to me and can they tell me their side of things. I really don't understand why she dislikes him so much.

Oh FFS
My Dad was a teacher in a really rough school and he had to endure parents and kids telling him to f-off, being physically assaulted (more than once), his tyres being slashed and one parent trying to run him down in a carpark.
My Mum, also a teacher, had her purse stolen out of her bag (more than once) and was bullied by a girl gang who thought it would be funny to tell her she had BO every lesson, as well as having to supervise another class simultaneously as that teacher had zero discipline and let children play poker in the back of the class and managed not to see one girl being sexually assaulted in a cupboard.
Issues were taken up with parents, and Police, but not with the children via a complaints process. How ridiculous.
Having to deal with kids making remarks (intentional or otherwise) is part of the job description. She should consider her lucky that this is all she has to deal with, many teachers have to face far worse.
I would set out what your DS told you and then ask to see the school's complaints policy that applies to children as you can't remember signing up to one
This is small potatoes. Really I can't understand why she didn't just ignore it.

I know Agnes seems ridiculous to me. I know teachers have to put up with some awful stuff and you couldn't pay me enough to be a secondary school teacher.

I have nearly finished email and have said that this is what my DS's account of today was, now over to you and explain what happened as you see it. Also asked to see this letter and have an urgent meeting. Bloody stupid situation and two weeks ago DS could only cope with half days and now this.

Completely OTT reaction IMO
Sorry for your son

Hi starfish,

Re your comment:-

"Atilla no DS hasn't got a statement, did apply in last year of primary but refused and was hopeful that school could provide a good support for him. All was ok in first year but since starting year 8 has not been very good".

Are you currently trying again re the statement?.

Secondary school is very tough particularly if pupils who need extra support are unsupported. If you haven't already done so I would reapply for the statement asap. I have seen it all fall apart in secondary school re some of DS's peers hence the suggestion to reapply.

I hope the problem is cleared up soon and that you and your son both receive an unreserved apology.

Morning. Atilla, no haven't requested another statutory assessment yet, going to see what EP says in two weeks then go from there.

Have had a call just now from the Assistant Head (who had seen note requesting an urgent call this morning) who spoke to DS yesterday, she said that teacher had written a complaint, to go on the record because she was extremely upset about what DS had said.

She had intended to go with DS to his lesson today and try and sort it out with teacher. Have told her DS is not in today until this has been sorted. Told her to speak to DS's head of year as this is not the first incident with this particular teacher and I feel I have to take control and don't feel he can be in her class any longer.

She is going to talk to head of year, read my email and discuss what to do. On a positive note she said she taught DS last year for one subject, was aware of his difficulties and that he was polite and mature when she spoke to him yesterday.

So am waiting, with both ds's at home today, DS2 was sick just before taxi was due - going to be a long day.

Hi starfish,

I'd be putting in another request to the LEA prior to the EP's visit.

Do keep us posted re school - am very sorry to read you're going through all this crap with them currently.

Thank you Atilla, I am starting to think that is the sensible thing to do.

Still waiting for Assistant head to ring me back, apparently she is in a meeting now with the Head and will ring me around 5pm.

I want DS to go into school tomorrow but not into that science class. DS is now worried that they will want to change all his lessons and put him in a different form, have told him I am only asking for the one subject to be changed.

Why oh why couldn't she just have ignored DS or brushed it off? Most of his other teachers do this, am so cross that again its DS who ends up stressing and worrying.

I've seen several threads re council non-apologetic apologies that people on here have received. If your DS emails one of those now, there won't be any face-saving nonsense trying to make him 'apologise' to this harridan.

Something like
dear head, I'd be grateful if you could pass on my regrets at having offended mrs x. As you know my asd means I can misread situations, and appear tactless at times. I am told my behaviour was intepreted as a deliberate attempt to attack her integrity, which must have been very upsetting.

I would appreciate any help you can suggest to avoid this problem recurring.

Yours sincerely
Starfish jr

(nonsense corporate style is deliberate)

mariamagdalena, although that is a very helpful and practical suggestion, it doesn't really solve the problem of a teacher who is unable or unwilling to cope with a child in her class who has additional needs.
If the situation is as he described, he has nothing to apologise for and the teacher's attitude will not change. She needs to have SMT intervention to sort out WTF is going on with her, and what sort of support she needs to do her job effectively.
He shouldn't have to spend the next few years fretting about verbal landmines from the people who are supposed to be helping him to develop his social and people skills.

If this goes anywhere, which I doubt, smile and ask for the training history of the teacher in question. Identify exactly what training they have had in ASD/ social communication issues. If the answer comes back that he's very experienced-shorthand for none, then suggest that it would be an appropiate adjustment for the school to ensure that their staff are ASD trained. You coudl also add doies it say something like that in teh Equality Act? Given the history here I would suggest at least 1 days training for the teacher off site.

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. I am still waiting to hear back from school, sent an email this morning telling them that DS is home again today as he is anxious and wants to return to school knowing what is happening about science.

I have stated that I feel the best option is for DS to have another science teacher and am positive that this is the right thing to do considering everything that has happened and teacher's continued lack of understanding of DS.

So, it is now lunchtime, no phonecalls, no emails, shall I wait till bit later this afternoon and just phone up asking for an appt with the Head?