Totally autismed out

[insanityscratching]

Today and yesterday and the day before I think I came to the realisation that I am sick of autism, I'm tired of autism, I'm even bored by autism.

I think I've just hit saturation point and I've had enough.

The clocks going back signify a massive downturn in ds's mood and the sleeplessness gets worse.I'm exhausted by it all and of course I'm still trying to support him to cope with the new school.

The school is great as I knew it would be. Ds is trying not to engage but I think they've got him sussed so I think it's just a matter of time before he puts as much effort into engaging as he is doing trying to resist.

But his constant misery, his refusal to acknowledge me and those warning looks he keeps giving me are driving me potty.

I can't work out whether dd is more hard work at the moment or whether I am just more tired and finding her more hard work.

She does like and demands my constant input and I'm not liking some of the "attitude" she seems to have acquired of late.

I'm sure the tiredness isn't helping but I'm reluctant to sleep when they're school because I feel like I need that time just to think and to be me.

I'm sure it will all even out in time as ds adjusts to the clocks going back (usually mid December) and the new school (who knows when) and life will continue regardless after all it's not like I have a choice.

But today I'm going to moan about it and ignore the stuff I should be doing and making the most of the peace and quiet I think.

Sounds as though catching up on sleep would be a good idea. Why is it less valid than any other form of relaxation? I am beginning to think we are programmed for a sort of hibernation at this time of the year.

Moan away insanity. I think we are allowed to be fed up of it sometimes.

We have had one of those weeks too, Dd2 pushing Dd3's buttons and constantly quizzing her about why she has to do things in a certain way. Dd2 is just being 16 and a PITA but it sends Dd3 in to a fenzy of anger and aggression.

And don't even get me started on Dd1 and DGD.

There I have moaned too now, sorry!

Put your feet up whenever you can and be kind to yourself.

Don't blame you. Sometimes I wish I could have a day where I don't have to think about autism.

Totally understand why you feel that way.

Hope you feel better soon and hope your ds will settle in his new school quickly so that you can have a rest.

Last week I had to sleep most of Tuesday while DD was at nursery, and a couple of hours on Thursday too. Made me feel I'd not achieved anything (because, obviously, the house got into a real mess while I was sleeping instead of houseworking etc) & felt sort of stupid & embarrassed for having been asleep during the day - but on the plus side, I still felt reasonably sane by the weekend, due to the sleep. So I sympathise, and appreciate the dilemma. Feel quite weird even writing it on MN - would never tell anyone in RL that I had to sleep through the day....

We're programmed to sleep when it gets too much for us. Absolutely no harm in having a wee nap through the day at all - I often do it. Get cosied up and call it meditation if it makes you feel better about it but if you need sleep, give yourself sleep.

Hope things get better for you soon.

I agree with Wilson, I nap a lot and it keeps me this side of sane most of the time. Housework is largely irrelevant, dust and fluff can be mostly ignored on a daily or even weekly basis.
Sleep when you can.

Embarrassingly, I nap too sometimes when he naps and it's really helped me be more on top of things.