Developmental improvements = horrendus behaviour

[Adamsapple]

Our ds is 4.5 years dx ASD and verbal dyspraxia in Feb this year. He started in main stream reception in Sept, he has a statement and lots of support - school have been fantastic.

I was so very worried about him starting school as he was non verbal - had four "words" but he does use sign, mainly Makaton, still in nappies, difficulty with loud, busy situations etc.
Considering his lack of speech he has very few tantrums and some previous difficult behaviours - biting, hitting, banging on windows - thankfully, have all been short lived.

Anyway, 3 weeks ago something "clicked" and he is suddenly trying to talk

We were playing a counting game at home and he suddenly repeated "one" "two" he has never tried to copy words before.
Next day at school he counted up to ten. Obviously it's not clear speech - "or" for one, two is really clear "eee" for three and so on.
But he will have a go at saying anything you ask him to, he is so pleased with himself.

The other major development is - he is out of nappies we went for it and got rid of the nappies at half term and after a horrific first day, he got it, and from the Tuesday he had very few accidents.
So, he started back at school this week in underpants, and he hasn't had a single accident at school - couple of poo's in pants at home - no accidents at all today

But his behaviour at home this week has been horrific, throwing tantrums - major meltdowns in the mornings, just before we set off for school ( once we arrive he literally skips into class and is happy to be there) also meltdown over getting ready for bed.
He is back to hitting me, throwing things - usually at me - being totally unreasonable.

This is so unlike him and I'm assuming it's because of all the major changes in his life just recently.
But they are all positive changes, so I'm at a loss as to how I can make it better.

Thanks for reading - if you got this far.

My DD hasn't had anything like the developmental improvements your son has. She is also 4 and her counting is more like 1, 10, 1, 10 etc. But I have noticed that when she does make developmental improvements they are accompanied by temper tantrums and other difficult behaviour that is either worse than normal or more often than normal. I'd be interested to see if other people are seeing the same sort of thing and if there are any theories behind it.

My son age7 with autism started at an asd unit in september and his behaviour seems to have regressed about 3 years in the coupe of months he has been there.
Its so booming frustrating for us because he had become so much calmer and controlable,however his talking has come on fantastic and he is really improving in that area.
We were totally unprepared for the tantrums ,constant echolalia and stimming that he is displaying at the moment but after talking to his pead,phychologist and teachers its not unusual and should improve again shortly.

Apologies if this really sounds obvious, but I have to ask... Could it be that he is exhausted? My DS is an August baby, finds school exhausting and his behaviour suffers.

We have this too. Ds2 hasn't ever made big strides with speech - more a slow, gentle plod but his awareness and understanding have improved in spurts, and we have noticed a behaviour deterioration every time. I think growing awareness, as well as improved speech, can lead to greater frustration. With my son its also an increased understanding of his own power and control. I used to be pleased that he was so compliant and easy, but from being on this board I have realised that the children who make the most progress are often not the very passive ones.

DD is still very young, but we have always noticed that she twitches and jerks mo in her sleep and 'whinges' and is grumpy and stroppy and just really really tired as well around development phases. Physical and mental. The months around her learning to walk (though we didn't know it at the time) were utterly horrific sleep wise and her behaviour was constantly full on, probably standard toddler, but just thought I'd say we notice it too.

I have noticed as my DS is advancing developmentally, he's also getting more confident and defiant. I think it's a normal stage of development to test boundaries and be an individual. So although it's hard work, I see it as a positive. He was so passive before and had no idea of the environment around him. Guess it really depends on why a child is displaying these behaviours, attention, wanting something, self stimulating, avoidance or control...

our son has recently started trying to communicate more (he is 4yrs 7 mths). he can count up to 20 and he has recently started to point and say what he wants to us. he said 'te tu' pointing to the ket shup the other day we were delighted and he remembers the word now and is repeating this more regularly. He has a problem remembering words. Lately he has shown improvements in different areas and he too has had more tantrums than usual. He falls on the floor as he knows it will be hard for me to pick him up and take him away from a situation. I am interested in finding out how you did the potty training. Well done you! I have been told by school and health visitor to do it when he's ready. this day has never come, really :c( He is going to a mainstream school but in their special needs unit, separate from the mainstream reception. They join the mainstream kids for some of the activites such as assemblies and pe, and occasionally some classrom activities but they spend most of the time in small groups being look after by their allocated teaching assistant (he's got 32 hrs 1 to 1 support).

I was told be the clinical psychologist that a spurt of development is quite often accompanied by disturbed/challenging behaviour but that it will calm down. He also said that around 4/5 years old, there is usually a leap in developement.