What (if anything) should I expect school to do?

[popgoestheweezel]

had our appt with paed on Friday. From what we said to him about our ds (5.5) he thinks PDA is highly likely and has referred us to Camhs. This will obviously take a few months but the chances are that we will get a confirmed diagnosis then.
Obviously we thought we should tell school what he had said and let them know that Camhs would be contacting school to ask for their experiences with him.
We had a meeting with his class teacher on Monday, we gave her a brief synopsis and asked her if she'd like some info. She said yes that would be good. I suggested that as it's an unusual condition and also a job share it would probably be worth having another meeting once they have read the info to talk it over a bit more. She said, no, she didn't think that would be necessary. So we left it at that.
Me and dh are just wondering now, is that it? Should we expect them to do anything else or is that the normal course of events? It felt a bit like we were telling her he was having his tonsils out, not that he has a pervasive development disorder that causes him permanent anxiety in the school environment. But maybe we're expecting too much?

He has no support of any kind. No IEP or anything.
I think that he manages to conceal his anxieties to a large degree at school (common for PDA) although once you understand demand avoid ant behaviour you see it all the time.
I have helped out for a couple of afternoons and could see it clearly impacting on his ability to learn, but I guess you have to know what youre looking for.
School do recognise he has problems in several areas, but don't seem very concerned.

I haven't gone in specifically for ds. They have run some outdoor learning sessions with a specialist teacher and asked for voluteers to go out with them.
He can cope in school, as he is a great strategist and has come up with lots of ways of controlling his environment eg. At circle time he misbehaves and distracts other children in order to circumvent the teacher's agenda and gain control of interactions himself. Egoism it comes to actual work he has worked out that the quicker you make an adequate attempt at your task the sooner they let you go and play so he just scribbles something quick and gets back to playing.
However, 'coping' isn't the same as learning and our worry is that he's not doing much learning.
When we had our chat with the teacher my impression was that he supresses his personality a lot so she doesn't really know him at all. At home he has a huge thirst for knowledge and a really enquiring mind, but I think at school it is a different story. Perhaps he is afraid to show that side as then they will have expectations of him and yet more demands!

Don't know where that egoism came from- stupid predictive text! Should have been 'when it comes to...'

Dh has dropped ds off this morning and given the teacher the PDA information. In conversation he said, 'Oh I'm not sure where ds has just gone' and the teacher replied 'Oh, I hope he's not avoiding us!' with a big smile on her face, thinking she was making a funny joke. Dh wasn't sure how to take that. Has she just made a joke about a child's disability? Maybe dh was being oversensitive but it certainly didn't make him feel like she's taking PDA very seriously.

The school nurse rang me yesterday to see how we'd got on with the paed appt. I told her we'd spoken to school and she straight away said 'well, if you don't feel they're taking you seriously then please get in touch with me and I will liase with them for you. Of course, you could always see the head too, I'm sure he'd be very helpful' Makes me wonder if they've not taken parents' concerns very seriously before in her experience...

I know ds' friend has hearing problems and is seeing the speech therapist. His mum also has lots of concerns about AS traits she sees in him and the fact that he is not progressing academically- she doesn't think they're taking her seriously at all.

We've just debated whether we should stop his supplements (which have been hugely beneficial to his behaviour and anxiety levels) and let them see what he can really be like, but I don't think we could send ds back to that dark place (not to mention go through it ourselves). Maybe I will just pick him up with the other children (instead of leaving him until all the others have gone) and they can enjoy watching one of his inevitable meltdowns, we can rustle one of those up every day if they like

justabout, ha ha ha ha... yes, she is isn't she?!

I reckon we should give them a few days to digest the information though, shouldn't we? And anyway what should we expect/hope for them to do?

I'm hopeful that school is changing so we don't have to. We have a new head teacher this year who is really having a huge impact and seems very hands on and positive. All parents I've spoken to have noticed huge improvements already. Our last head left after a terrible ofsted last year. Apparently, he also has a child with AS so should understand a parents' perspective pretty well.

I am still very fuzzy about what he really needs in the classroom at the moment. I think the most important thing is that the motivation behind his behaviour is recognised- then hopefully school can reduce anxiety-inducing situations and interactions for him. Some simple changes to the way he is managed could have a big impact- they certainly have at home. That's my number one priority.

After that, I guess we do have concerns about his academic progress. At home he appears to be very bright, articulate and has a wide-ranging general knowledge. But they seem quite content with what we feel is well below what he is capable of.

He knew all his sounds and could read a little before he started reception but now in year 1 he's only just started on yellow level- that seems slow to us, given that he started so well with reading. Last weekend he accidentally brought home a non fiction book about snails (he loves anything like that), which I think was probably from green level, which he read really well. When we mentioned it to the teacher she said 'that's because he found the topic interesting so he was more motivated, but I think we'll keep him on yellow all the same'. That could be translated as 'we don't want him to be motivated to read or interested in books, that sort of thing needs to be discouraged.'

I would certainly second writing to the LA for a statutory assessment/statement and also getting the school nurse to talk to his teacher, sometimes it takes another professional before they take stuff seriously.

Now she has got the information, how about contacting her early next week (give her a chance to read it!) and ask for a meeting to discuss what strategies she will put into place to help your DS; and put the ball back into her court?

I did say on Monday that I thought we should have another meeting once they'd had a chance to look over the info, but she said 'I don't think that'll be necessary'. What do we say to that- 'Well, we do'?

Pop I think you should pursue it with the school. If the teacher is not receptive then go to the head.

There's no point in applying for a statement as the school haven't even acknowledged his needs yet, so not had a chance to 'fail to meet them' iyswim.
I am going in tomorrow as I've been asked to help out on a school trip to the cinema and I'll be helping at outdoor learning session on Friday too so hopefully that'll be a chance to see some more of his school persona. Regardless of any sn he does/may have we have no real clue as to how is is getting on academically. His reception report was very conflicting and confusing- he was 'working towards some of the early learning goals' (surely translates as not reaching early learning goals we thought) but then scored a 7 or 8 in the same area which we felt was conflicting. We should have talked to the teacher about it but couldn't be bothered as we knew we wouldn't get any joy, she hadn't been much help over the course of the year.
Parents evening this year only focussed on his behaviour, she just said there were no areas of particular concern as far as understanding the work etc.
I think their take on things is that he will grow out of a lot of his disruptive behaviour (we think that's unlikely considering he's not got any more mature emotionally over the last two and a half years) and that he's not falling behind so no problem and of course I can see their point. However, we can see all the hidden anxiety and we want to ease that as much as possible.