Sensory defensiveness

[MangoMonster]

any ideas on how to encourage DS to touch playdough, certain toys and hold his spoon to feed himself... He just refused to use his hands when a demand is placed on him re feeding, and different textures...

Just 2, having major tantrums about touching new things or things he doesn't like/finds difficult... Major tantrums! I'm in shock! :)

Thanks lenin I know patience is the key, just finding the overreaction and tantrums baffling at the moment! Once he thinks we are trying to encourage him to touch something he doesn't like...screaming for half an hour until it's removed from view. Though times but I guess perseverance is key...

So does mine previously... But chocolate buttons might be the answer ;)

We've been there with Ds and come out the other side! We didn't do much - just left stuff around for him to discover for himself really.
At nursery i saw hIm retching (his usual reaction) when another child handed me the sealed tupperware of playdough at tidy up time. A few months later, first day at school, he chose to go to the playdough activity -just as i was telling the teacher that he hated it!!!!!!!

We've just started sensory brushing - DS's arms are in constant 'high guard' position and if you try and take his arms or hands to do anything he throws himself back (he's not mobile).

We've only been doing it a few weeks and not seen any real improvement but he does let me hold his arms and hands to do it which can only be good :)

Does anyone have any tips on how to handle tantrums? What have you found reduces them? DS is realising he can complain about anything no matter how small, for example he throws his cup on the floor and we ask him tonpick it up, then make him pick it up... Then he won't go near his cup for hours... Is it just consistency and perseverance?

Mango, I could've written your post myself. My DS is nearly 3 and has exactly the same issues. He absolutely will not feed himself with a spoon if it has food on it (even though he will do it in pretend play). He has many tactile defensiveness problems and like your little one won't touch anything squashy, slimy, cold. He has only recently started to wash his own hands (wouldn't put them in water until a couple of months ago). Even if I put a spoon in his bowl in front of him, he screams (know exactly where you're coming from with regard to the tantrums!). We have seen an OT, who wasn't helpful as she said because he had the skills to do it, there wasn't anything she could advise. Our portage lady, the SALT and his pre-school have been quite helpful and basically as LeninGrad says, they have all advised to break everything down into really small steps, using things he really loves to motivate him.

With the playdough, I've been making it into marble size balls and 'loading' them as cargo onto his Thomas trains and trucks (which he is obsessed with). He quite liked the idea of having the trains carry something, so tolerated this. I then made it into a game where the 'cargo' had to be unloaded and he did take off a few of the balls himself (even though he dropped them straight away, it was a breakthrough just to get him to touch them, as he recognises playdough from about 10 metres away and avoids it like the plague!)

The feeding himself thing is much more difficult. He knows I want him to do it, which just makes him even more determined not to.

zen1 so good to hear someone in a similar position, DS is so stubborn... He just decides not to do something, even if he loves it to avoid any demand. We are working on it... But it's infuriating, I guess we will get there. Just so difficult when you know he has the skills and would enjoy it but he has decreed that he will NOT do it...

Mango, what is your Ds like with regard to eating different textures? I still blend all my son's 'healthy' foods as he refuses to eat them otherwise. He does. however, love dry foods (breadsticks, oat bars, crisps, rice cakes) and will happily finger feed himself these any time of day .

Lenin, it is good to read that cutlery may eventually be a possibility! I bet if my DS was in a room with lots of other kids feeding themselves without me around, he would do it.

Ds6 came through with a bag of plastic clothes pegs the other day and said 'what's this Mummy?' and I had to refrain from saying 'one of the few things you would touch when you were 3, child!'.

Focus on one thing at a time, so if you're wanting cutlery to work think of things that are hard - pegs, pencils, clips, squeezy toys. If you are thinking about play dough, what is there in the house that is squishy? Try and try to find things that he likes, then think what is similar to that thing. The classic Hanen thing about bubbles, so then move from blowing bubbles (if DS likes that) to a bowl of soapy bubbles, to very thick washing up liquid mix, etc.

zen my DS loves the same things are yours. It's texture sometimes but sometimes it's just irrational, refusing something he loved. You can see he wants it, even opens his mouth but then at last minute pushes spoon away.

The thing I'm finding tricky is knowing when there is genuine anxiety and when it's defiance...

I know I need to do more pairing when it's anxiety related but also I need to ensure he's not learning avoidance and having a tantrum works...

I think I can tell the difference but just don't want to get it wrong and make both scenarios worse

Hi
I have just read your posting and i would like to add something.I am working with a little smart girl who has SID, she is 5. A year ago when i started to work with her, she would't touch anything like sand,paint,bubbles,soap,leaves...she was good with food(she doesn't like fresh strawberries cause of bits but likes dried ones). She was very sensitive like your son,but now, nothing can stop her. She is seeing ot who is specialised in SID and we do sensory diet which makes her body in tact. Before and type of play where he is going to use his hands give him deep compression and massage his hands,fingers. It takes you 4min to do it every 2h and def just before activity. Don't force him,which of course you are not,but rather you play in front of him.Sit him down ,put something around him, massage the joints and hand and than you play. Touch it(playdough example),put bit on you hand or on his favorite toy...as long as he is slowly introduced and massages are Very important part of it. He might be probably oversensitive,and the sensation of something different makes him probably unconfortable,which is fine,but more you will be doing it he will be able to regulate his feelings of touch and be quicker to process what it is and recognise different textures. It wont happen straight away but bealive me it does work miracles.If you have different texture blankets let him feel it ,you can wrap him and make a game out of it,eg DS is a burrito...let him touch soap in liquid,hard soap,different brushes, scrub,some soft toys...just expose him to everything. It would be lovely if you live near One O'clock club,some of them have sensory room and its just amazing. HTH

Thanks mummystar, I will try that today. 4 mins every 2 hours? He won't like it but I'll persevere!

Lenin, what's schramm? Can't find it on amazon?

Hi MM
It realy helps. Its more for us adults to keep to routine and the most important thing to take one step at the time. I promise you,it does work. One more thing, fill some plastic bucket (colourful) and buy some cheap rice ,beans and barley...(keep that bucket with grains for as long as you will need-we have our one until now) , put maybe same few toys inside so he has to reach it. Grains send very good feedback to our senses...There are so many games you can do it with your DS...its a bit of a work but its worth it in a long time.HTH.