Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Halloween & ASD, any happy stories?

31 replies

WasUnderThirthy · 31/10/2011 23:52

Just came back from our 4th Halloween...and boy is it never easy! My dd has ASD, and as much as I love to put on a costume and go get candies, she always throws a tantrum when we try to put her in a costume...I even had two for her to choose from, alas...

Is it like that for all ASD dc, and does it get better with age?

OP posts:

coff33pot · 01/11/2011 00:03

Yes it does get better :) DS was gradual, first time screamed the place down, second time I got an outfit and we just answered the door (DH checking out window for really scary ones first!) This time he went out with me and it was great. I got MIL to make me a light fleece jumper and trousers to put on first bit like a light lining, then a vampire costume over the top. he doesnt like masks and hates face paint but found face crayons insead.

Went out early so their were more babies than bigger kids and only around our road.

In his usual eccentric manner the night went as he said to Daddy. "It was the most lovely night, I had fresh air, a nice walk, saw two dead people and got candies (I know we are not American) what more could I possibly want Daddy"

Face was afterwards?.............................HELL lol

coff33pot · 01/11/2011 00:04

Face wash even..........:)

Triggles · 01/11/2011 00:04

DS2 doesn't do trick or treating (we don't actually take any of our children trick or treating for that matter), so the costume and such isn't a problem. He couldn't cope with being outside in the dark, much less walking around, going to doors, and seeing the others out and about in the dark.

We had candy to hand out, and DS2 was allowed to choose a couple pieces of candy to nibble as a treat after his tea tonight, but that's it really. I'm not even certain he was aware that we handed out candy to other children, other than his asking who was at the door the few times we had children come to the door.

He's 5yo now, and I just don't see it being a huge holiday for him in the near future. When he is older, I suppose it will depend on how he develops to see if he understands it and has an interest in participating.

Original poster

WasUnderThirthy · 01/11/2011 00:38

''a nice walk, saw two dead people"

OP posts:

ihatecbeebies · 01/11/2011 10:32

My son has AS/HFA and is 4.9, this is his first halloween trick or treating. I've spent a fortnight explaining it all to him, and he's watched lots of cartoons involving trick or treating so he knew what to expect and he picked his own costume, had to paint his face though as he wouldn't wear the mask. We then stayed in answering the door first to trick or treaters and he helped so he knew what would happen when he chapped doors IYSWIM.

I got him a special Halloween torch too which helped him feel safer in the dark and we went to a few houses and 2 flats in our street with his friends too. Halfway through he got a bit scared at the thought of going to a strangers house but we all reassured him that he'd be fine and there were 4 adults (his friends parents were there too) with him too so everything would be fine, so once he'd got over that he was fine and overall he really enjoyed himself.

Hopefully your dc will gradually relax more every year too and could enjoy themselves, even if it's just your immediate neighbours doors at first.

purplemurple · 01/11/2011 11:51

ds is 7 and was adamant that he wasn't going trick or treating, and he didn't want a costume.

As with most things I can cajole him round, he wore his star wars costume.

He knocks and then turns around just in case they answer the door with a mask on. He managed five houses before fear took over.

What was sweet was after they gave him treats and he thanked them he said "happy halloween, have a lovely halloween" Melted my heart completely.

eaglewings · 01/11/2011 11:55

Why make kids do something they don't want to unless it is something important like going to school, bed, eating greens, flushing the loo etc

It sounds as if you are making your kids do Halloween so that you can enjoy it!

coff33pot · 01/11/2011 11:58

No eaglewings its called social interaction. But thanks for the opinion.................

purplemurple · 01/11/2011 12:15

If ds only did the things he wanted to do, his life would consist of playing on his console end of.

I had to cajole him to go the cinemas on sat, the park on sunday, piano lesson etc etc

purplemurple · 01/11/2011 12:17

I have a dd who is more than happy to go trick or treating, if it was about MY fun I could have just took her.

alison222 · 01/11/2011 12:22

DS(10) Aspergers, DD and I went out trick or treating - only our road with houses with pumpkins/decorations. We met lots of people we know from school.
DS has recently decided to like dressing up and acts very theatrically with it ( dracuala costume this year) he was very polite and took what he was given with lots of thanks (he can't eat chocolate), complemented people on their decorations and some fantastic pumpkin carving we say and he and his sister swapped sweets when they got home so that he was happy with his haul. They then had fun answering the door - still in their costumes and handing out sweets.
I have to say that it has taken several years to get to this - the first time he pestered me to go he refused to take anything from the houses that were offering choclolate making him seem rude. We have worked around this though and he was very happy last night.

coff33pot · 01/11/2011 12:23

Lots of things in life are scary to attempt for children. And a little gentle encouragement does no harm. Its not for our fun its to help them enjoy everything that goes on in life and some need to learn how to socialise and communicate (mine does) Either that or my son glues himself to a TV, computer or playstation or stays in his own imaginary world on his own acting out games with his invisible friend............I think I know what I would prefer.

ihatecbeebies · 01/11/2011 12:47

Who shat in your cornflakes eagle? it was raining last night and while my DS was snug under his raincoat, I got soaked so no that was definitely not for my enjoyment . DS had a blast once he got over his fears and although he's been nervous he's also been very excited about Halloween for weeks, he would have been even more upset if I had stopped him from going out.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 01/11/2011 12:53

We don't do trick or treating and I do not answer the door to trick or treaters either so we don't have that aspect of it.

DS's school always have a disco though and this year DS lasted a new record of 45 minutes he ran around with some boys from his class, chatted to teachers, etc and had a nice time before declaring it was time to leave. This has been built up over last 3 years, first year he lasted about 5 mins so I am pleased with his progress.

pramsgalore · 01/11/2011 13:05

my ds would not handle the knocking on doors and strangers expecting him to talk, so we don't trick or treat, we also don't answer the door to them. we took ds to see father christmas and although he seemed to love it, although he kept his head to the side refused to look at him when answering question of what toy did he want, which he did answer he was very confussed and we got lots and lots of questions and whats and whys, he does not proccess information well and when he does not understand he just keeps repeating what and why over and over again, so no halloween. he now thinks father christmas lives at pettits though i just hope he don't see another father christmas this year, as this will confuse him even more i fear.

eaglewings · 01/11/2011 13:09

I am happy to disagree with people and coff33pot's comment was fine, I agree about social interaction, we just have different ways of going about it, but ihate, for your information

I am sitting in bed dizzy and unwell waiting to see the specialist gyne consultant tomorrow as I have been miscarrying for 10 weeks now and have had 2 operations.
Well you did ask!

My DS has Aspergers, and I do encourage him to do things to get him away from his DSi, but an event that happens once a year, is a difficult subject for many (as you can tell by the number of threads on here) seems a strange battle to fight.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 01/11/2011 13:11

My children are 'sweet givers' so they dress up, decorate the garden and are in charge of dishing out the sweets. They love it. They are in their own home, in control of how it looks, they choose their costume (and can choose to not wear one) and if they don't want to open the door, we can do it instead

They get the social interaction because they interact with the kids who come to the house

And they get to trough on the sweets all night because I always buy far too many

They love it and because it's their own environment, they feel safe and in control so can cope with the weirdness and out of routineness of it.

tryingtokeepintune · 01/11/2011 13:16

We carved the pumpkin together, cut out the bat shapes to paste on our windows and got the sweets ready in case anyone came. DS refused to wear a costume or do any treat or treating but enjoyed watching his sisters get dressed and waved them off and insisted on sharing their sweets when they got home! (They did not take too long as dd2 only lasted a couple of houses and then got decided she did not want to carry on.) Oh and ds also enjoyed looking at the people who came knocking.

Triggles · 01/11/2011 13:17

pramsgalore - I had to laugh when I read your post. We take DS2 to see Father Christmas each year, and only last year, at age 4 did he even recognise him as FC. He STILL doesn't understand the whole "FC bringing presents" aspect of Christmas. I am rather curious what his actual view of Christmas is - he sings some of the songs, but doesn't really understand them IYSWIM, he gets excited to see FC, but honestly has no idea why or what he has to do with Christmas, and he loves the lights and decorations just because they're shiny and pretty. I think he has a very murky view of Christmas, but as long as he enjoys it, I guess that's what's important.

I honestly don't think it's worth arguing over whether or not it's good to take a child out trick or treating. Some children will cope with it, with some encouragement perhaps, other won't. DS2 wouldn't, I suspect, but it's a non-issue as we don't take our children trick or treating. It's certainly not worth getting upset over, is it?

ihatecbeebies · 01/11/2011 13:23

You weren't just disagreeing though, your post could have been worded a lot better rather than trying to make parents feel guilty for encouraging their asd children to join in.

pramsgalore · 01/11/2011 13:24

ds is 5 and this was the first time he has seen father christmas, he knows he brings him presents on christmas day, although last year the tree went up and i thought nothing off it, the next morning ds got up and came running into my bedroom all upset because father christmas had not been, he thought because the tree went up, he was coming, i should have explained it to him, but it never crossed my mind as he had never thought that before.

eaglewings · 01/11/2011 13:26

Thank you for pointing out yet another of my failings irate.

eaglewings · 01/11/2011 13:27

Thank you Triggles, you make a much better point

brandy77 · 01/11/2011 13:56

My son age 7 Aspergers, he loved wearing a skeleton costume this year and had quite vividly told a lady at CAMHS in the morning that his costume had blood all over it

We went to houses that showed pumpkins/decs and mainly people we already knew. He was loving it, very politely telling people "Thankyou, Happy Halloween", then he decided that was it enough was enough and demanded we go home lol. We had loads and loads of kids knocking, and he had great fun giving out sweets, he said after that he preferred giving out the sweets to getting them......then he cried for an hour because Halloween was over and it wasnt fair and that he would have to wait for another whole year !!!!!!

purplemurple · 01/11/2011 14:02

Eaglewings I see your point, halloween isn't a necessity. I would never force him to take part but gentle persuasion is part and parcel of life with him. As it was he only lasted five mins and was very happy with his treats. I know if he hadn't come out for that short while he would have been upset when dd came home with her treats although she would have shared.

Sorry to hear of your loss x

Flip

1 2