Child being punished for ASD behaviour?

[Shakirasma]

or am I being oversensitive?

DS is 4.9 and in reception. He has just been approved for a statutory assessment and was dx with ASD just over a month ago.

He has 2 teachers on a part time job share basis and is in a class of 30! His condition is severe enough that DH and I are seriously considering pushing for a special school.

One of his teachers, although really lovely, clearly has no experience of ASD and often comments on his 'bad behaviour' generally stuff that I think is typical of ASD.

Today, first day back after half term, she told me he had been 'a nightmare' as he had been really noisy and was shouting and squealing on the carpet. (we have long known he struggles with carpet/group time as he cannot connect with the situation and tends to run off or be generally disruptive, and he frequently has vocal outbursts of 'silly' shouting)

so she made him stay in at playtime to practice being quiet with his favourite TA. When I asked if it had worked she said he was lovely and quiet, until the other kids came back in!

He has spent all afternoon saying 'want go on playground mummy'.

This is one of many similar conversations I've had with this teacher.

So given that as far as I am aware his behaviour is typical of an ASD child not coping with a situation, am I right to feel that he is getting punished for being ASD and that the staff are pretty incompetent to think that punishment is going to teach him anything?

Beca, i'm really sorry you and your ds have had such a hard time up until now. I really hope it improves for you as a family.

We're ok make

My experiences with schools and SENcos are not great, but ds1 is happy at school atm - which means a lot - just means I have to teach him

Have you looked into SS for your ds??

None at all.
I'm more nakered than you -ner-ner-ner-ner-ner.
My school's shittier than yours -ner-ner-ner-ner-ner.
Only kidding. I do like a good competition for who has sobbed over their autistic child, the most, over the last : day/week/month/year.
We could set up a competition thread

I do think that Becaroo makes a valid point. No one is interested in our SN kids. They're more trouble than they are worth, or so it seems to be perceived as. And I guess thta is kind of depressing. But once you get over that depressed bit, it just becomes true. realistic. AND then you just accept. And get one with it.

And that seems to be true of life, generally. Most people just don't want the hassle of it. They just want an easy life. So it doesn't matter what you've got wrong with you. If you're not 100% NT (whatever that is ??!!), then you just get used to the fight.
My mum had to fight for me, since birth, and all I've got is diabetes. The autism fight seems way harder. Though not half as hard as many others. You have to keep reminding yourself to retain perspective.

No one is interested in our SN kids. They're more trouble than they are worth

That's not my experience, Oblomov. The boy's MS school isn't perfect, but they've collectively bent over backwards to make it work for them. The boys are so different in personality and ability that it's impossible for them to be under any impression that they need the same things. The SENCo is fairly new in the job and admits she has a lot to learn, but, like other staff, asks me if she's not sure which is the best course of action with DS1, who can be very volatile. DS1 has had some rather violent tantrums at school (it;s not just school - these can happen anywhere in any situation where he's not 100% in control) yet, rather than putting their hands up in the air and saying they can't do it anymore, they've taken a step back, worked out what went wrong and taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. Both of the boys have very dedicated 1:1s and I always get the impression that they're loved.

The head cried with me after the dreadful week DS1 had, last month, when he really went off the rails. I don't take that as a sign of disinterest.

Not many people are going to come on and start a thread about how life with their SN child is going swimmingly. The negatives and the battles are going to be disproportionately represented on this forum

ouryve

I dont think its that "negatives are disproportionately represented on this forum". I have seen many threads lately where parents/carers of dc with SN/SEN have shared/bragged/boasted about their dc's latest achievement...whether it be a smile, a hug or some good talking!!

My experience, and that of my son has, sadly, not been as good as yours.

I can only post about my experience.

I am glad your sons school cares.

I would contend that it is in a minority, however.

oblomov

I cant tell you how much less stressed I am now I have no expectations of the school/teachers/SENco. Shouldnt be like that, but it is the reality for a lot of us

leonie sigh. I wish I could say I was surprised

I cant decide whether to be glad ds1's current school havent got a SENco atm

Actually, now I think about it, this has been an issue at both his schools since nursery!....SENco's going on long term sick/leaving and not being replaced.

Atm his school have asked the SENco who retired last year to come back and help but - at the HTs own admission - she is only there to keep up with paperwork...no children (inc ds1) are getting any SEN provision and havent since the start of term.

Its enough to make me puke, frankly.

leonie I know.

But what can you do?

I made my views clear at the last meeting we had (and why the HT can barely bring herself to say "hello" to me now!)

I dont know what other parents of SN/SEN dc are thinking about the current situation....but I am not happy.

Ds1 has had one bit of 1-1 in the year he has been at the school called "Switch on" which was VERY patchy - the whole point of these interventions being that they are done regularly, of course! Sigh.

Just doing it myself. Its not easy, but ds1 not getting the help he needs because they are negligent in their duty of care is not an option.

You go girl!!!! [mile]

Am off to a fundraising event at the school later.

She will blank me again.

Dont give a rubbery fuck, however