Ed psych report-do I just give up and call ds naughty?

[teamtwilight]

Yes, we have the ed psych view now after an asessment on our suspected high functioning ASD ds.

Apparantly he is displaying naughty behaviour. She see's no signs of ASD. He does have concentration issues and needs firmer boundaries than the average 5 year old.

I have had issues with my ds since he was 2. I have had health visitors visit the house to help with disciplining ds. The school nurse has visited with regards to constant soiling in his pants and bed wetting but to no avail.

I am half way through a parenting course and I am prepared to do what it takes but something tells me there is more to my ds than just plain naughtyness.

The ed psych couldn't tell me why he whispers to himself the last few words someone says to him, why he soils himself, why he has meltdowns that last for an hour over nothing sometimes, why he wanders around at night sleepwalking, yelling in his sleep and having tantrums while asleep or why he doesn't hear what your saying and you have to repeat yourself 2-3 times even though he passed his hearing test.
Personally, I beleive school stresses him as he has to hold it together all day and he releases at night at home.

So, do we throw out all the good we have done with him lately by calming him down, distraction, talking to him and go back to the absolute hell we had before when the naughty step ruled? Since getting rid of the STEP our ds has improved as it seemed to pro long the meltdowns and drive him on.

Our family is in utter confusion now. Are we bad parents and just letting our son get away with everything or should we trust our instincts even thoiugh the school and the proff disagree.

I don't think I have ever felt so helpless or low.

The answer is no dont give in.

An EP cannot diagnose anything to be honest other than put forward teaching strategies to enable your son to cope in school and advise for teachers to cope with behaviour.

Does he have a 1 to 1? Are they applying for a statement for him?

I would get yourself to the GP and ask for a referral either to a developmental pead or camhs and tell them your concerns for your DS.

If all the things you have done are working for you at home then carry on the same way and forget the naughty step.

You are wonderful parents and have already found ways of calming your son.

Here is the hard part: realizing that some professionals are out of their depth, somehow reassuring them while at the same time finding the information and support you need from other sources. Cross face!

Always trust your instincts, even when you have slipped away from them. Just go back to them and see the difference it makes.

The step is for the profs lol! You know the absolute hell you experienced before was not working, so don't worry, it is still not a good option :)

This board is full of support for you as you find your own way.

No 1 to 1, no statement. School say they have no probs although his teacher does say he is demanding.

We have seen the senior nurse practitioner who works under a paed 3 times and he is the one who put us on the asd pathway but he needs the ed psych to agree before he can dx.

Cahms refused us earlier this year as we were under paed. I have app with gp wednesday.

Thanks Toojung and coff33pot nice words.

I guess sitting in front of ed psch for an hour while she and the head teacher looked in pity at me as if I couldn't cope with a bit of naughty behaviour was just too much for me.

I'm afraid now you have to spend lots of money and go private.

You need to go to a paed to get a dx of ASD - not an EP.

And you can wait and go through the NHS - or you can go privately and pay hundreds of pounds.

And you don't listen to that shit EP. EPs can be shit as well as any other profession. Just because they've been to uni for 7 years doesn't make them clever :)

Sending you a big hug in that department as been there a few times before. It does make you feel uncomfortable and start you doubting yourself.

But dont let them do it to you. You are a good mum with concerns for her son. The bad one would be the one that is ignoring it. :)

I take it if he has had an EP assessment then he is on School Action Plus? He wouldnt be there if all was just fine and dandy at school. So they must recognise that he has some issues.

When you go to your GP I would take a whole list of your concerns that you posted here. Burst into tears and say he needs to see someone now. Start making a diary of events and log everything in it and how you dealt with each issue. Sometimes them reading it rather than you saying it bears weight so I was told (god knows why!) I am doing a diary myself at the moment :)

Firstly you are not alone in ditching the "naughty step". It has never worked for my Dd3 she used to be hysterical when we tried to use it. I ditched it about 3 years ago and haven't looked back.

You need to keep a diary before you next see a proff. Record all incidences of quirky/unusual behaviour including meltdowns. What cuased it[if you know] and how you dealt with it.

You need to show that despite consistant parenting your Ds still needs more.
You will have to fight because he is coping at school. We ended up moving Dd3 because school just refused to see anything.

We found the diary evidence of her anxiety/challenging behaviour got us noticed.

It took us 3.5 years to get Dd3 a DX of ASD, it was exhausting and we very nearly gave up several times. But in the end you know that there is something about your child and that they are going to need continuing suport throughout their life.

It is because you are a good parent that you won't give up.

Good luck.

No you are not bad parents but are being let down badly by these so called professional people.

Unfortunately you have come across an EP who is worse than useless. Such people can and do cause an awful lot of damage. EP as well cannot diagnose anthing medical so this person is talking out of their behind.

Re this comment too:-
"We have seen the senior nurse practitioner who works under a paed 3 times and he is the one who put us on the asd pathway but he needs the ed psych to agree before he can dx".

Forget this senior nurse practitioner who knows nothing either; you need to see the paed and no-one else. This senior nurse person is also stringing you along re the EP and is showing complete ignorance; as mentioned above the EP cannot diagnose anything.

Would ask GP to refer you to another developmental paediatrician or pay and go private.

TT - I would apply for a statement now and not delay that any longer; you do not need anyone's permission to do this. Use IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk.

Also contact the NAS (National Autistic Society) and seek their advice too.

Keep posting here.

My lad's had 2 EP reports done in the last year

1. LEA EP thinks "he's too bright to have asd". Her report was so vague and woolly it was pretty useless apart from the quantifiable assessment she did which put him in the bottom 10% centile for working memory and summat else which links with poor auditory processing. No useful solutions though so no help to the school at all. Tbh it was a jargon laden waste of paper.

1. Private EP said "he clearly shows all the traits typically associated with an asd diagnosis" and proceeded to explain what those issues were AND sensible solutions for helping him in the class room that have worked. She did this in words of plain english.

My conclusion the 2nd EP knew her stuff, and the 1st one didn't judging purely by results. Sadly all professionals are not equal : (

As a Mum for goodness sake trust your gut instincts and keep pushing for a medical assessment EVERYTIME you come into contact with a professional. There's nothing worse than regretting later on. Too many kids are diagnosed in secondary and beyond if they are high functioning. There's a scary minority who are only diagnosed as part of the criminal justice process, which for me seems like every parent's worst nightmare.

Oh and apply for a statement anyway as the assessment process can help in some cases focus professional minds on your kids needs. My son would still be waiting for a SALT assessment if I hadn't put in for a statement.

If you KNOW the naughty step doesn't work and other strategies do, why on earth would you use it? You know your child better than anyone and standard techniques often don't work on children with a whol range of communication disorders from auditory processing through to asd.

I find keeping a diary helps to show professionals - might be worth doing it for a fortnight and then insisting at the GP's for a pead referral?

No my ds has no help at school and apparantly needs none. He struggles with his reading, basically he can't read but is recognising letters. He has picked a hand over the summer holidays to write with which is good. He can write his name but gets b's and d' mixed up (back to front) aswel as his 5's and 3's. Having said that he is only 5.2. (in year 1)

A diary has been started. I kept one for a fortnight for the ed psch but she didn't even look at it.
I had filmed a meltdown too, which she did watch about a minute of but said he was clearly enjoying his outburst and it was all a game to him.

I put my trust in this woman as she was a proff and basically let her tell me that I was not tough enough. Both me and my husband have questioned ourselves as to whether we exagerated these behaviours or have we somehow seen something that simply wasn't there.

She told me to ignore his behaviour at all costs when he is in a meltdown and start time out again. We are now on a waiting list to see a support worker who deals with bad behaviour. I am sure she will install all the time outs and star charts which we have tried.

I am glad I posted on here. I actually felt like a fraud after the EP visit, vowed never to post on here again as we didn't have the right to anymore.

Thanks everyone

This EP person did talk a load of old tosh didn't she?. This person does not have a clue about ASD as she has NOT been trained in this area. All EP can do is make recommendations re educational needs and this person has not even done that re your son properly.

You do not need to see a support worker who deals with bad behaviour. Unless they know about ASD you could be back at square 1 again.

In the meantime get your GP to refer you to a developmental paed who knows his stuff rather than this stupid EP who has done a lot of damage.

Writing letters and numbers backwards if consistently done too would suggest to me dyslexia and dyscalcula. These can be co-morbid with ASD.
The meltdowns are consistent with ASD.

Whispering words after saying them reminds me of the character called Brick in the US programme called "The Middle". His character is on the ASD spectrum.

I can only agree with the comments Bochead wrote below, they deserve repeating:-

"As a Mum for goodness sake trust your gut instincts and keep pushing for a medical assessment EVERYTIME you come into contact with a professional. There's nothing worse than regretting later on. Too many kids are diagnosed in secondary and beyond if they are high functioning. There's a scary minority who are only diagnosed as part of the criminal justice process, which for me seems like every parent's worst nightmare.

Oh and apply for a statement anyway as the assessment process can help in some cases focus professional minds on your kids needs. My son would still be waiting for a SALT assessment if I hadn't put in for a statement.

If you KNOW the naughty step doesn't work and other strategies do, why on earth would you use it? You know your child better than anyone and standard techniques often don't work on children with a whol range of communication disorders from auditory processing through to asd.

I find keeping a diary helps to show professionals - might be worth doing it for a fortnight and then insisting at the GP's for a pead referral?".

My son is in secondary and I can certainly attest to the fact that there are parents out there who bitterly regret not getting the required help far earlier.

You are your child's best AND ONLY advocate here TeamTwilight, never forget that.

Keep posting here too; you are not a fraud and do not let any so called professional doubt what you are seeing in front of your eyes.