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SN children

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Original poster

Halloween problem

23 replies

shaz298 · 26/10/2011 13:56

Hi,

My DS ( very medically complex/unique with some ASD/ADHD traits - not assessed) is having a terrible time with the whole idea of Halloween.

He has never done dressing up and has always chosen not to be involved in the whole dressing up /halloween thing. However this year he is really anxious. Was really crying when he went to bed last night about it.

Have reassured him that he doesn't need to dress up but he is worried about all the other kids dressing up too..........and they are having a Halloween dress up day at school on Monday!!!

Have explained to school and told them that if he is really anxious on Monday I won't be bringing him and if he does go and gets upsety I will come and get him.

Anyone else's wee one react like this to Halloween??

TBH I didn't like ti much as a chiuld but his reaction is so strong. Am wondering if it's because everyone is so unpredicatable ( different clothes/masks etc) and not always obvious who is who.....

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coff33pot · 26/10/2011 14:26

DS is very much gunning for it and as he has lost his front teeth has too lovely vamp teeth to show off

However 2 years ago it was a different story. Do you have trick or treaters knock your door?

We get loads and he used to scream and jump everytime the door went. What I did was let him dress up for a few days before hand then we both dressed up and answered the door and handed out sweets. I used to look out the window first and if there was a particularly scary outfit I sent DH. I dont know what to suggest about school though as my son doesnt like anything out of routine and so if it is different in the classroom as opposed to normal lessons he gets upset.

Original poster

shaz298 · 26/10/2011 14:34

Thanks Coff33pot. Problem ishe won't do dressing up at all!! Never. He has always been this way and not really sur ewhat it's about. I do think he may have tendancies of AS and have recently sent a list of all his little behaviours to oue community paed to see what she makes of it. So hopefully she will advise assessment.

Won't even consider what he wants to be when he's bigger. Most kids his age want to be policemen/pilots etc. Nope DS says 'I just want to be me', which in itself I think is fantastic tbh.

Think I may just have to keep him home on Monday.............

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Triggles · 26/10/2011 15:15

I worried about this with DS2 as well. Thankfully they are off school that day.

is there something he can dress up as that is not too OTT, and will seem rather normal to him, so less upsetting?

ihatecbeebies · 26/10/2011 15:30

He could dress normally but carry around a toy car and say he's a giant my son with AS is having a hard time with Halloween too as he's obsessing over ghosts and monsters and has trouble sleeping at night now, I cant wait until it's over!

purplemurple · 26/10/2011 15:43

ds 7 HFA/AS is terrified of Halloween. He saw the advert for scream 3 on the TV and so he is obsessing about trick or treaters dressed up like that.

He won't dress up or take part in anyway. They are back at school on Monday but this year they aren't dressing up, thank goodness.

Original poster

shaz298 · 27/10/2011 09:53

I think I'm just going to keep him home. He gagged and almost threw up this morning just saying the word Halloween!!

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Original poster

shaz298 · 27/10/2011 09:55

ihatecbeebies - that wouldn't work for my DS but I do think it's a fab idea and very 'outside the box' thinking :)

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WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2011 10:23

Mine is so excited about the Hallowe'en disco tonight and I'm dreading it. Last year he lasted for precisely 20 minutes before begging to be taken home. But having said that Shaz, last year was the first time he'd ever wanted to dress up as anything... so that was something.

If I was you I would keep him home - it's only Hallowe'en, not something important that you need him to work through his fears on IYSWIM.

Original poster

shaz298 · 27/10/2011 11:35

Yeah and they are planning on dooking for apples etc etc which is also a no go for my little man who won't put anything ( except a little water) in his mouth - no spoons etc !!

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Spiraling · 27/10/2011 13:13

Ds is ok with halloween now but use to find it v. difficult. But currently in not go to the woods, and what's to stay in when it gets dark till all ghosts and bats have gone, so not quite trick or treat level.

Asda do some good t-shirts with halloween on them. - skeleton, frankstein top (as in your head can be the character), pumpkin and some others i think, wouldl that work

wasuup3000 · 27/10/2011 14:32

Mine are Ok, saying that they are avoiding the "scarier" outfits and opting for a faerie, pumpkin and spongebob outfits, however.

WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2011 17:53

On a brighter note, the school gate mammies were giving me a telling off for not dressing up - I HATE dressing up - so now I am simply going to copy ihatecbeebies and carry one of DS trucks.

Wish me luck folks - we're going in. (I fear we will be back by 7 though) [hgrin]

imogengladheart · 27/10/2011 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 27/10/2011 20:19

Aw I would just keep him home if he is that anxious about it. Mental health is just as important as physical health, why put him though it.

DS likes Halloween but in a very young innocent way. He enjoys dressing up (trying to find a cute toddler style pumpkin outfit in age 7-8 was a challenge last year ). He doesn't like the overly scary stuff though, the spooky sounds, the SCARY realistic costumes. Last year he managed a new record of 5-10 mins at his school disco. (His school do an optional halloween event after school).

imogen - we have mould scenarios in our house too.Mouldy pumpkins and gingerbread houses covered in dust. [yuk]

WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2011 20:19

Well, we lasted an hour! A whole hour! OK, DS stuck to me like glue but he did really well. I already have in hand and I don't have sensory issues

I think 'night night my friend pumpkin' is really sweet btw. Sometimes I think that innocence is one of the (few) pay-offs we have...

Original poster

shaz298 · 28/10/2011 10:07

WF - Well done to your LO for lasting an hour!!

I have told HT that he won't be going. More importantly I've told DS he won't be going so he can stoip worrying too much about it - I hope.

He actually did vomit yesterday when telling me his friend was having sparkly eyes!

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WilsonFrickett · 28/10/2011 11:36

Oh no, poor wee man! Definitely the right decision.

ihatecbeebies · 28/10/2011 12:34

DS had his first school disco tonight, the teacher let us stay as I was concerned he might have a meltdown, but it went well, he only cried 3 times which is great and overall he really enjoyed himself!

ihatecbeebies · 28/10/2011 12:36

Shaz Yeah I definitely think you made the right decision, it's just not worth it if it makes him so upset, he wont miss much by having the day off anyway I'm sure as if he spends the day worried and frightened I doubt he'd learn anything, now you two can have a lovely relaxing day off together.

imogengladheart · 28/10/2011 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SOTIRIA · 28/10/2011 23:41

My DS does not like Halloween either. I've found some alternative activities on Monday to avoid the trick or treaters. There is a group on at a local SN club who are not doing costumes etc. Also a local church is doing a nice party who promise no mentions of halloween or scary things. It's impossible to avoid it at school though. My son has been excused from some activities that are too much for him. Your DS shouldn't have to go through such an ordeal.

Original poster

shaz298 · 29/10/2011 13:32

To be fair HT has apologised and we didn't realise how strong his reaction was ging to be. He's never liked it but has never reacted quite as badly. Hopefully she will bear this in mind next year :)

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tooearlymustdache · 29/10/2011 13:40

Absolutely Yes!

DD has never liked pumpkin faces, witches, ghostly pictures and noises.

We have been carving happy pumpkin faces today, in the hope she will have some good memories of this time of year but supermarkets (which are a bit of trial at the best of times) are a big no-go area at this time of year.

I wish people didn't laugh at her when she gets 'a fright' on her as we call it, she reacts to scarey things by either a) being rooted to the spot quite terrified or b) running as fast and as far as she can away.

It's not bloody funny

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