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SN children

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Original poster

Does your child tell lies?

14 replies

jenk1 · 27/12/2005 10:01

Ive been told recently by 2 "professionals" that ASD/HFA/AS CANNOT tell lies-its impossible.

Now i rarely tell lies in fact i dont think i do but that has more to do with my upbringing than being AS BUT, DS seems to be able to reel them off with hardly any effort at all!!!

Is this usual behaviour or could these people have a point,- its just been playing on my mind since last thursday.

Thanks

OP posts:

Blossomgoodwill · 27/12/2005 10:33

It depends what you mean by lies really.
I think my dd finds it hard to tell lies but may say no to something if asked if she has done it. Ie have you made that mess, dd says no. I doubt she could actually make up a big lie and go into details iykwim. Although she is only 6.
I think it's all down to the theory of mind and that children on the spectrum would find this hard as they assume we all think the same! I am not saying that is the right answer but what I have been told.

Blossomgoodwill · 27/12/2005 10:39

Jenk found this explanation for you here

Original poster

jenk1 · 27/12/2005 12:29

thanks blossom

OP posts:

Blandmum · 27/12/2005 12:32

Hmmmm, I teach and have worked with a girl who was diagnosed with ASD and she could tell real whoppers! They were quite invoved and could be, on occasion very believable

She was 15 though, so I'm not sure if it is an age related thing and children with ASD can 'learn' to lie, like they can learn other forms of social behaviour.

Original poster

jenk1 · 27/12/2005 13:20

Agree with you there MB, DS has only recently started telling lies, but not major ones, usually ones that involve and end to the conversation like- "have you cleaned your teeth?"

...pause...yes, but his face says it all, its like he doesnt want to lie sometimes but doesnt want a discussion about something!

OP posts:

FairyTaleinNewYork · 27/12/2005 13:22

dd2 rarely fibs, she usually owns up straight away ie. i bite nicole, i threw the plate etc etc. at the age of 3 dd1 was lying to me , little monkey, but i could see through her.

COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP · 27/12/2005 13:24

Ds1 will sometimes say yes/no to something, regardless of the truth, just for the sake of giving an answer so that he will be left in peace for a while. I doubt he could make up anything elaborate. I don't think he really has the inclination tbh. I don't know how much is due to ASD and how much is due to personality.

Blandmum · 27/12/2005 13:44

Agree also that is is also a personality driven thing. I teach a boy with asd who is utterly, unfailingly honest! Whyich has given rise to many amusing conversations with him. When he tells me that i 'usualy' know a lot of science, it makes me smile since, I know he is giving me the greatest compliment and he is being 100% accurate any other child would be being cheeky!

Original poster

jenk1 · 27/12/2005 14:10

Yes my DS does that Coppertop, i dont think he could make anything elaborate up either.

When he is fibbing he looks like he,s in pain because he doesnt want to but he doesnt want a disscussion either!!!

Eg he says he didnt lie to the psychiatrist when he asked him does he wear red/green clothes because he HAS worn them in the past but doesnt like to wear them now, oh sometimes he is hard to work out!!!

OP posts:

SoBlue · 27/12/2005 23:38

My ds says things like he had burger and ice cream for dinner when his TA says he had cheese roll! Alot of time its an answer rather than a lie. My older son dyslexia/dyspraxia tries but always lets it slip as he doesn't think it through so its plausable. Sometimes he's too honest and you almost wish he had lied.

itllbelonelythisdavros · 28/12/2005 17:42

My sister with AS has a lurid line in fantasy or sometimes simply repeats something she's heard as if it happened to her. So me and my other sister do describe her as a liar but we know her so well we can detect it very easily, other people wouldn't. But she's also honest and lost a few jobs by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. I also know a boy with AS who has a rich fantasy world including his own planet and language....!!

BoozyChristmacwoozy · 28/12/2005 22:17

My ds doesn't lie.............yet. But give him time I'm sure he'll learn too, he's only 5. On the other hand my dp who has autistic tendencies will lie but feels very uneasy doing so, even to the point of making a situation worse even though a little white lie would have made the situation easier IYKWIM.

DanceOfThePeachyPlumFairy · 30/12/2005 13:57

Oh constantly. Sigh. I am strictly honest to the extent it really annoys everyone (couldn't take too much change for example), but not Sam, oh no. I expect everything he says to be a lie now, he'll swear blind that a is B, even if I have seen entire incident. Pain.

I think a lot of it might be the answer thing, that makes sense to me.

Eulalia · 30/12/2005 19:14

My autistic son told his first lie about 7 months ago, he was just coming up to age 6. He'd never lied before. It was about something he was ashamed of (he'd wet himself at school) and he said that one of hte other children had spilt water on him. I was amazed that he was able to do this and quite pleased in a way as it showed he had the capacity to make up a story. Obviously he's not very sophisticated and didn't realise that it was easy to find out the truth.

He's not really done it again although sometimes hides things he's done wrong. Usually he's still very truthful and will quite happily tell me he's hit dd which informs me that he still doesn't think its wrong despite being told one million times.

They do learn to lie eventually but it's not really in their nature to do so.

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