Social Services - your experience please

[raspberryroop]

We started off very positivity but can honestly say 2 years down the line I'm fed up of meetings and meetings about meetings and no real practical intervention .

Very nice people but as much use as a chocolate tea pot.

I know some of this is because of funding but a large part is just lack of response to phone calls, endless form filling and just not listening to us. I come from a business background so am not judging like for like but am getting very frustrated.

What is everyone else's experiences and am I being too judgemental ?

What is it that you are trying to get from them? Is it repite? In which case they should have an assessment procedure and if you/your DC qualifies then it should go before a panel for a decision to be made.
My experience is one of being fobbed off unless you constantly chase them - in which case they think you are a PITA, but their resources are very limited (time as well as actual cash), so nothing happens quickly. I raised an issue with them, waited months to hear anything, chased up and was told I was on waiting list for social worker. Eventually had social work assessment and application went to panel - heard nothing after panel meeting, chased again only to be told "as X was not at panel meeting due to holidays, the panel couldn't make a decision, so it is sitting on X's desk for a decision to be made". What exactly is the point of having a panel if they cannot make a decision because one person is on holiday!!!! Eventually was told decision couldn't be made as it was a 'health' issue so needed to go to Health and sort it out!!!! Had wasted 12 months to get to this point - was so as they could have told me that in the 1st place.
Gave up at that point as DD was nearly 17 so by the time anything would be sorted, she would be in adult services anyway - not worth my effort to fight for next 12 months!!!

bigbluebus - have been given respite/social inclusion hours 2/3 hours a week through Action for children but they have had trouble recruiting ie 1st was 18 yr old with no experience who would only pick up after-school when no activities on 2nd just took Ds1 to agricultural shows where her friends were (he has no interest in animals at all!!) and cinema and mcdonalds ! which is not exactly social for an ASd kid on an additive free diet!
It has now resulted in us being owed 100 hours !! the social worker seams ready to write them off !! when we actually need more respite now than ever ie son permanently excluded, husband having a nervous breakdown and my mother has had another stroke.

The fact is the seam to be treating me as if I'm a PITA and I wondered am I being unreasonable or should I just start putting everthing in writing and ask for direct payments

Ah yes, welcome to the world of Social Services...Meetings without agenda's or goals, no minute-taking or agreed plan or action points, hours and hours of time wasted - yours and theirs - and while you might be losing wages attending these meetings, their hours are clocking up nicely. If I had my way, I'd have a major cull of social workers, and put the money into the actual service that you are meant to be accessing - i.e., practical help - because those hands-on workers are paid a fraction of a social worker's wage and do 200% more for families with disabled children.

You seem to be being offered what social services want to offer you, not what you need. Write down exactly what sort of help your DS and you need to have a good life, (not just to get by). In an ideal world, what would that look like? 5...10...40 hours Direct Payments or an afterschool club or overnight respite? Group activities or just him and a worker? Mainstream activities or specialist? What days, what hours, how will it differ in the holidays? Do your own research if you haven't already about what is out there. Don't wait for social services to tell you what is available as they aren't called gatekeepers for nothing.

Then ask them for what you need - plus a few hours on top - and they will probably say no, but they just might give you a bit more than you currently have. Don't ask, don't get.

Do not tolerate being treated like a PITA - that is a common SS tactic to make you go away. You have to become a velvet steamroller, a persistent, pleasant PITA. They may guilt trip you and say you aren't needy enough, or other families will suffer if you get more help. Tell them that this is not your issue. You need help and you need to keep your family functioning. Cry if you feel like it as this works quite well I'm afraid to say.

It all sounds a bit manipulative, but unfortunately I've seen families go under and many marriages split up and I've even seen children go into full-time care, because help hasn't come at the right time in the right quantity. The financial cost of that is colossal so don't feel embarrassed to ask for what you need to keep going

raspberry - your story sounds familiar. I was also asking for Direct Payments to replace an existing respite arrangement which didn't meet our family's needs - but got nowhere. The iirony of it is that when DD goes into adult services next year we will probably be on Direct Payments! In your case it sounds like they are dragging their feet as for some reason they don't like DP's for children even though everything seems to be moving in the direction of Individual Budgets now.
The problem with Direct Payments is that you might have the same recruitment problems as Action for Children seemed to have - so unless you know someone who might be willing to look after your DS you could end up with a pot of money and still not able to spend it on care. SS will then ask for it back!!! Might be worth asking if you can put an advert in the staff room of a local SN school if you are after evening/weekend/holiday care as many of the TA's are on term time only contracts and often work extra hours outside of school.
Oh and they are very good at 'writing off' the hours you should have had - in fact only today I have had a phone call to say that the 6 hrs respite I booked 4 weeks ago for DD so that I could take DS out tomorrow has now been reduced to 3hrs as 'something has cropped up'. No offer of the lost 3 hrs on another day this week though.

Not very good I'm afraid.

Meetings and visits are what they like to do because it justifies their salaries and for each visit they can 'report' that they've solved a problem you never knew you had - well done them.

They get an extra tick if their meetings and visits result in no money leaving their pot, so they set you up to not get anything.

Waste of bloody time and caused me more stress having them in my life when I was already keeling over.

My ds was at risk. The risk was realised. SS never found out. DS is no longer at risk but my mental health is with the image of what happened.

Bakelitebelle - you have voiced my guilty thoughts. We need practical help not tea and sympathy.

My experiences of SS?
Do I really have to?????

I get bored with even thinking about their incompetence and lack of regard or care...

im in the process of makeing my list to present to the ss person when they turn up, im struggling to list what things i should be putting respite (oh god we could kill for it) permantly got 4 kids 2 ov sn, our life is stress stress strees and im at my ends teather, apart from things like horse riding, gymnastics, respite, what other things should i look/ put on.... im totally lots on ideas and what im looking for

Personal and professional experience is that in a lot of ways it depends on the SW, assessments SHOULD be offered to all who look like they might have needs, Workers SHOULD always be accountable, (be clear about what they are doing, and when they will do it by, and should be pro-active about contacting you if the situation changes.) You SHOULD have copies of all paperwork, and reports and you SHOULD be regarded as the expert in your own needs. ALL assessments SHOULD be about needs not about services.

From personal (and professional) experience SW done as it SHOULD be has the potential to really benefit people, (I have seen it do so,) However I have seen a lot of bad social work too,

btw OP I happen to be a social worker myself.

I have had mixed experiences.

Round 1 - DD1 was 3.4, didn't get past the front door.

Round 2 - March this year. Made it onto the 'Children with Disabilities team', assigned SW in April, but he had a 1 month induction period. Core Assessment started in May, first real help arrived in August.

But we are quite lucky now, I think. DD1 has 4 hours per week support from SS (not respite for me, I have to be there too, but it's an extra pair of hands, which is what I needed).

I also have 6 hours 'respite' per week, where she goes to after school club twice per week. That is (atm) funded (not by SS). We also have homestart for 3 hours per week (respite). DD has 2-3 Saturday clubs (3hrs) per term.

In the Summer Holidays DD got 6 hrs per wk SS support (2x3hrs) and 9 kids club days (6 hrs each) over the course of the holidays.

So, although it seemed to take forever to get there, I do think we are well supported at the moment. Crucially, it seems that they realise that there is a direct correlation between the support we get and DD1's behaviour, which protects the provision somewhat.

Although, in fairness, I spend an hour driving out of each evening kids club, because I have to drive to her school to pick her up, instead of her being transported home.

Also, in the holidays, I spent close to 2 hours driving each day, so the '6 hours respite' became 4 hours.

BUT I am not complaining, just saying that the 'on paper' support isn't the same as the practical result.