Anyone elses child like this.................? advice please

[anniebear]

Ellie does not like, ...... can't quite say surprises as she loves presents etc but, I'll give you an example. Sorry, not making much sense!!!

I took the girls to a local garden centre today (they know us well!!)as the play area we were going to was shut when we got there

we were sitting in the cafe and my Dad walked in!!!!! Totally unexpected. I got a shock!! My Mum had told him we were there and he came to join us.

Ellie loves her Granddad but got upset as she didn't expect to see him walking in.

The other day we were sitting in the front room when DH walked past the window, again she didn't expect to see him outside walking past so had a tantrum.

I am sure some of you who have Children with Autism have mentioned them not liking surprises. Has anyone had any experience of it in the same circumstances as this?

Any advice?

As I said, she loves surprise presents, she can go to new places, do new things etc. It is just if somebody she knows appears without warning and particularly in a place when you don't expect to see them.

Is it just the understanding isn't there yet? Me and Grace both got a surprise seeing My Dad in the cafe, but it made Ellie have a small tantrum and after a minute or two she is fine and chatting to him????????

Thanks

My ds tends not to speak to people who turn up unannounced, but is fine if I tell him beforehand.

Sometimes it's difficult for people to understand or perceive the extent of the needs of some children. I don't have a child with autism (do have a nephew though) but DS is allergic to peanuts and, although people see me checking the contents of every food he is meant to put in his mouth, they still show up when visiting with chocolate covered peanuts, spanish almond desserts, or german chocolate cake (covered in nuts, thank you very much!).

I didnt mind my Dad turning up!!! It was very nice and we had a lovely time!!

Just can't understand were she is coming from??????

She is only 4 (SN) and has some understanding but way way way behind her twin Grace

My DS would have been like this at your DD,s age and he is ASD, he likes presents although we have to give him advance notice

DS is 17 and had a huge rant this evening about hating Christmas. He was looking in the fridge for something to eat and was attacked by the amount there and what he could take

He just wanted to have ham, a piece of letuce and mayonnaise to make the sandwich he has everyday

So he has stomped off out to see his sister (who will have the normal nothing!)

We had another example today at dinner,i had the kitchen table through in the sitting room and all set up for a big three course xmas dinner,my brother was here too and we all had dinner round the table in the sitting room with xmas telly on,Ds1 (autism) started freaking out and literally couldnt eat his dinner,my brother not grasping what was going on kept trying to get him to eat which was making him worse and worse,till he was curled up back to the table refusing to even look at his plate.
All because we were in the sitting room with the table instead of the kitchen,even though we do this every year !!

It's normal anniebear. I call it things being "wrong". DS will freak for example if the car has to reverse, or if he goes into the kitchen and the cup drawer is open. Sometimes (not always) I find a verbal explanation helps.

My DD9 (still waiting to be assessed) would have ignored him!
When mum came to meet daughter from a holiday club (daughter wasn't expecting her to be there) Daughter just blanked her!