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Reunited and it feels so goood

22 replies

eandz · 21/10/2011 10:30

Hello Ladies,

come one, come all.

my current problem, I have a few:

  1. DS has been given a full on dx of Autism/ASD (no surprise there). However, they feel he does not have Selective Mutism because Selective Mutism presents as being absolutely quiet in social situations. He's not, he now is absolutely quiet around new people, babbles around people he see's often and talks to people he sees and spends lots of time with. (which we are happy about).

According to his NHS professionals: The fact that DS talks in varying degrees across varying people and behaves absolutely different in different scenarios is 100% indicative of just ASD. Nothing more and nothing less. I disagree. I feel like there is something more going on and that if we dig deeper, possibly we'll find something else to work on. You can't work on a problem if you can't identify it.

I don't want him to come across the love of his life and just stare at him/her blankly. I want him to have the ability to walk over and say 'How you doin?!'

  1. Family therapist who was assigned to us through CAMHS feels that she can no longer help us (she never helped us anyway, all she did was want to know exactly how much rent we pay, what my husband does for a living and why I get my eyebrows done; and feels that we should divorce for the sake of DS--but she can't put a finger on why) because she feels that I am disillusioned to my son's current abilities. He has autism so he cannot know his colors/numbers/letters. (She says I'm making this up). She has sent a letter stating this to Me, DS's nursery and a few other health professionals.

I understand she doesn't want to see us, heck--I've been trying to get her off my back for months, but why send this letter to everyone? Am I really crazy?

  1. I have had to take DS out of nursery because he has had a few serious staph infections while being there, he is not receiving any one on one support like his IEP had stated and he was caught playing with wasps by three of my friends when they went to pick up their boys. They immediately stopped him, but his nursery really should have been watching out for this.

His nursery feel that I should not take him out because his Autism has limited him, but they all love him and he's happy there (he's not, he says so). They also have no evidence of him ever saying a single word there, despite him telling them he has done a poo (I've heard him say, "I did a poopoo" to his key worker a few times.) To be fair, I don't think his nursery is bad, I just feel there are too many children and the workers could pay a little more attention to all the kids--but then again, there are 87 other children there).

It is a private nursery, and I'm taking my son out, but so are three other mothers who also feel their kids are not getting adequate attention. The same three friends who caught my DS playing with a wasp and complained three separate times.

I sound so crazy. I feel like maybe I need a vacation. RGO copy this and send it to E will you?

thanks,
Z

OP posts:
RGO · 21/10/2011 10:35

Whilst you know my position on all of the above I am not getting involved in your campaign for a vacation!!!!! :0)))

eandz · 21/10/2011 10:36

Fine. It's okay, I'm crazy now so maybe I can hallucinate my way to the beach.

OP posts:
RGO · 21/10/2011 10:47

I can certainly vouch that you are not at all crazy Z
These guys just don't have the time or resources to go beyond how things appear on the surface.
I will google chat with u ltr
Only reason I am actually on here is cos I am in bed ill!!!
Keep smiling and I will email E ltr and suggest a vacation to a hot place for all of team N as a team building exercise!!! Xx

willowthecat · 21/10/2011 11:09

Will u make it to park then ? Don't think I will now due to ds2 hair cut

RGO · 21/10/2011 11:20

No am ill today- sorry!
maybe next week??

IndigoBell · 21/10/2011 11:23

I can vouch you're not crazy :)

It's good news that CAMHS worker doesn't want to see you (She, on the other hand, may well be crazy :) )

It's a good idea to take him out of that nursery. Doesn't stop you putting him in a better nursery if you want to.....

I (personally) wouldn't get overly hung up on whether he does or doesn't have selective mutism at this stage. (But then I don't know anything about it). I think when he starts school it's something they'll naturally work on (getting him to speak in class) without any kind of dx.

No one is debating he has some kind of speech issues. The debate is whether it's due to his ASD or selective mutism. I strongly suspect that way to handle it would be the same in both cases. So I'd just concentrate on getting him to speak in a wider range of contexts (if that's made it to your top 3 list) and not worry about the dx.

eandz · 21/10/2011 12:15

IndigoBell

I agree! You always make me feel better.

OP posts:
eandz · 21/10/2011 12:16

Team N needs to go to Hawaii.

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 21/10/2011 12:18

eandz - because you're american you always think of holidays = Hawaii.

Over here in the UK you go to Spain :)

Much cheaper.

eandz · 21/10/2011 12:20

Spain is a good one too! :) I was just thinking of American prices vs EU prices.

whats best in Spain, I would love to go!

OP posts:
coff33pot · 21/10/2011 13:19

Puerto Rico in Gran Canaria Lovely place fully recommend it. Very kiddie friendly And if they are blond well my dd got a free orange from the man in the shop every time we went in! :)

Becaroooo · 21/10/2011 14:07

eandz

You are not crazy.

If you are, then I am too.

Shall we start a club??? Grin

Nursery sounds bad...you are doing the right thing taking him out, but you already know that!

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalCha0s · 21/10/2011 14:37

completely believe you about the letters/nos etc - it's v normal for ASD for kids to have a spiky profile, so letters/numbers etc are age appropriate in a way that language/social skills aren't. my ds's knowledge of colours was in 3.5-4 range, when his knowledge of language was in 1.5-2 range (at age 36 months) agree with indigo about not getting hung up on the SM stuff - as even without the DX, the focus should still be on encouraging him to speak/feel confident in unfamiliar surroundings, educational settings etc.

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/10/2011 14:41

I believe everything you have written Eandz, except the bit about you being crazy. I think you are a bit Grin but you think so too if I remember correctly. Still that should probably help you rather than hinder you with your current issues.

Take him out ffs. I've done that twice now and ds has made much more progress socially whilst NOT in a preschool/nursery. I think it is delusional of so many in the educational profession to state that social skills can only be learned by being plonked in a room full of children the same age. Er hello - if that was possible they wouldn't have been given a dx of ASD!

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/10/2011 14:48

We're going here mid Dec

We've been before. It's a bit medium with the food and entertainment but the pools are great and the SPACE is great and the bungalows are pretty basic but functional in that you don't mind your kids banging about in them. It is full of Dutch too which means no language demands on DS and he seems very comfortable and happy as his behaviour is treated as the aloof English boy rather than the badly behaved wierd kid.

Dawndonna · 21/10/2011 16:22

Take him out and find a nursery that is willing to help.
As for the selective mutism, don't want to put a downer on things, but my husband is 41 and still doesn't talk to new people. It takes him ages to get used to them. He will talk once he knows them. The only time he gets animated with anybody other than family, is if it's about one of his subjects.

Becaroooo · 21/10/2011 16:26

Oh, and as you know I took ds1 out of school in year 2. Best thing I could have done! Toby is still not at nursery as I dont feel he is ready.

You are doing an amazing job with N.

xx

blueShark · 21/10/2011 16:50

Oh z, huge mn hug and pls come round next week, I'm alone with the kids during the day, remember 30 mins door to door :) then we can both dream of the holiday together Grin

eandz · 21/10/2011 23:15

blueshark

I'm coming over! will you be able to handle seeing me twice in one week?

xx

OP posts:
eandz · 21/10/2011 23:16

oh, and starlight

your vacation looks fantastic. i want to come along. RGO has talked about R's progress, you are such an inspiration. 

becs
how are you?!

OP posts:
Becaroooo · 22/10/2011 09:19

Hi eandz

Meh.

I am ok. Still awaiting a dx....is it fibromyalgia/RA/something worse? They dont seem to want to dx me Hmm So, more bloods next week!

Ds1 has been dx as dyslexic - made no difference at all at school but, hey ho. Still seeing the paed for poss asd dx but he is happy so thats good sSmile

We have found a house! Have to be in by end of Nov - eeek! - so will be usy til xmas!

So good to hear from you, and find out how you and N are doing xx

blueShark · 26/10/2011 20:08

Sorry eandz just seen this, of course I can handle u x

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