Threats of suicide

[sazale]

After another Sunday afternoon/evening full of meltdowns over not wanting to go to school tomorrow my DD sent me a text (it's the main way she communicates about feelings) advising me that if she has to go to school tomorrow she'll commit suicide.

She's nearly 13 and undergoing, what seems to be taking a lifetime, assessments for Aspergers/dyspraxia/SPD amongst other things! Her anxiety has been really bad since the return to school in September which has resulted in spending most of her lessons in the inclusion unit until they can stabilise her. This reduced the anxiety initially but not for long. I spoke to CAMHS about the anxiety and they're not too interested TBH. The worker said he'd try to see if he can get her CBT after pushing him for a response on Friday after he told me on the Monday he'd speak to someone about it!

I'm pretty sure that it was her way of letting me know how unhappy she is (difficulty expressing emotions) but how do I know she doesn't mean it? My adopted father committed suicide totally unexpected many years ago (b4 my daughters birth) so I don't like to brush off things like this. I just don't know which way to turn. I've told her that I won't make her go to school in the morning and that helped to stop the horrendous meltdowns but she then became manic, choosing to read her 4 year old brothers reading books and telling me how she's going to prove to everyone that Santa does exist!

Do I go to my GP, CAMHS, Ed Psych? I just don't know! We don't get any support. I spoke to parent partnership for the first time on Friday and they are going to allocate me a worker and I've applied for Aiming High. Has anyone any experience of this type of behaviour?

Thanks for reading

if she already has camhs support, go there. the guy said he'd sort something tomorrow anyway. call him first thing and let him know what she is threatening. threats of suicide have to be taken seriously.

That's what I thought. He was going to let me know at our next appointment on the 24th if he could get any input. They won't let her see psychologist till she's done the ADOS. We've been under them since Jan but it's been 15 months since initial referral and we've had no support and things just keep deteriorating. First thing in morning I'm gonna ring him and I might email Ed Psych to advise as he's just about to be seeing her after I referred her.

Thanks hun x

Definitely CAMHS. Ring them first thing - tell them about her suicide threat and I think you'll find you get "fast-tracked". And also ask them what you should do about getting her to school. What you don't want is for her to realise taht she only has to threaten suicide and then she doesn't have to go to school. Sorry- that sounds really cold and heartless - it's not meant that way. I have a friend whose daughter went through something very similar and I know that she wished that she had strategies in place from much earlier on. Because the longer she left it teh more difficult it was to get her daughter back to school.

Thanks guys for your advice. NappyShedSal, what you're saying doesn't sound cold it's exactly what I've been thinking. At first I was tempted to tell school that I was going to keep her at home tomafter half term to give things chance to settle but then I was concerned that it would make it even harder for her to go back. My DD is very childlike with how she deals with things which means she basically just refuses as she doesn't have the skills required to deal with issues. Her phobias have been increasing as well. She won't go out if it's raining or if it's dark she's struggling more and more with noise. CAMHS just tell me that I must make her go out regardless but if I manage to get her to go her anxiety is then that high that the outing turns into a nightmare for everyone! It's not fair on DD and it's not fair on my DS's. Hopefully this may make them take things more seriously. Thanks

sorry to hear you are going through this

on the upside, this should mean you get fast tracked for support- we found that in a similar situation

CAMHS are pretty useless.

I would wrote to CAMHS telling them that your DD has threatened suicide. A letter carries much more weight than a call or an email. It's on their files and if you ensure you copy in someone else such as the GP, it's on their files too - so they can't deny receiving it. Neither can they ignore a letter like this.

Meanwhile ask the GP to sign her off and ask the LA to provide tutoring at home. She's not going to learn much anyway at school in her current state.

It's also worth asking CAMHS for a written report of your DD's problem (as far as they've got to in their investigations). You could ask for that in your letter to them re the suicide threats.

Sometimes you just have to make a fuss - if you don't then CAMHs will just string this along for another 15 months with no dx.

You need to show them you mean business and the best way of getting theit attention is to wrfite to them.

Best wishes

Thanks guys.

My DD didn't go to school and she had a horrendous morning of meltdowns. Spoke to SENCO who's insisted for her to go in to school just for 2 hours in the inclusion unit each day this week so they can observe her because they say she's not showing anxiety at school and often chats with other kids even though she tells me she wants to home school so she doesn't have to talk to them! She even suggested it may be separation anxiety which I said had crossed my mind as she follows me everywhere and is constantly touching me but then went on to suggest attachment disorder instead of ASD!!! I don't think that at all!

CAMHS are going to see her tomorrow morning so we'll see if she'll talk to them. I doubt it since she has to text me even when sat next to me!

Me & my DP had already planned to write to the GP about it everything and cc it to the Psychologist who appears to be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow at the moment! We've also already got a GP appointment next week where we had planned to discuss the letter that we're going to send!

CAMHS worker has said there is now a query as to wether will be ASD as she passed the theory of mind test! It appears that they are only checking on ASD and if when the Psychologist finally sees her he says it's not then we have to go down to tier 2 and start looking at behavioural stuff!! I told him that it was CAMHS that said ASD not me and if it ain't that was is it coz it's not behavioural? She isn't maturing at the rate she should be and something must be causing it! Not impressed. Got a feeling we're going to have to go private.

I think I might have to get her signed off if things don't improve soon.

Oh dear - your CAMHS sounds totally rubbish!

My DS (Aspergers) sailed through the Theory of Mind test so to tell you they've ruled out ASD because of this is absolute nonsense. Unfortunately some CAMHS staff have very stereotypical misapprehensions about what ASD children should / should not be able to do. For instance, our Pysch was reluctant to dx Aspergers becasue DS has a wicked sense of humour - as do many others I've met.

It sounds as though your DD has possible ASD with severe anxiety. The need to touch you could be OCD - which is a common comorbid with ASD and anxiety - but they'd rather take the easy option and blame it on separation anxiety / attachment disorder.

Good move to write to the GP. But your choice is to struggle on with these idiots or go private. I think in your circumstances I'd go private. That's what I did and waved the private dx at CAMHS to cut through the rubbish.

Best wishes