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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

too tired for....

45 replies

signandsmile · 14/10/2011 17:56

Hi all, ,mixed week, [cross] ds bit another child, (badly) it turns out his TA was elsewhere.... the school have had meeting and agree he does need someone with him all the time.... er... yeah!!!! .

But at least we had good parents eve last night, and i have said I will record our conversation so we have evidence for statement review in Jan, (already has 27 hours, may need to go up to include lunch and breaks too). It also means I have records of incidents and strategies they have agreed to put in place... (So there is ammo for the future a paper trail, ) and a big thank you to unpa1dcar3r for her listening ear, as I ranted about this...

College was fab this week, and I think we might have found a lass to do ds's one to one worker at church. and we are off to the seaside next week, just me and ds, but a friend and her kids may come for a couple of days too.

How have things been for everyone??

OP posts:

purplewerepidj · 14/10/2011 20:12

coff33pot · 14/10/2011 20:13

babe I have leaves too! just washed ds trousers and the tumble dryer is full of them! DOH! Found the few that was up his sleeves but missed these lol

Good on the reading though! :)

Original poster

signandsmile · 14/10/2011 20:14

just popped back in, sorry to hear about the crappy/tough bits of everyone's weeks, and Yay! for the good bits.
and Yippee and Congrats for pidgin, am thrilled for you.
popping back out now, as dh has just said meaningfully 'I thought we were turning off the lap tops???!!!'

nite all, will read up tomorrow,

OP posts:

BabeRuthless · 14/10/2011 20:21

Ha ha! Thanks for the hellos! I've probably got another half hour before I become comatose, sadly not through drink. Virtual is as near as a get at the moment. Nice to hear I'm not the only one who has to take evasive action during the season change

intothewest · 14/10/2011 22:19

Just wrote a longish post,but deleted it as it was too depressing !!!

HI to all -congrats on the new job PURPLE

....and to all who need it ... I have gin (things must be bad !)

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 14/10/2011 22:24

It's quiet tonight, into. I'm sorry your week wasn't good. But thanks for the gin!

unpa1dcar3r · 14/10/2011 22:25

Awww Beca I can't believe your sons school don't give him a certificate for effort.
At my boys SEN school all the kids get certificates all the time, even for being helpful to another child! I have a huge pile of them in the cupboard. It wouldn't take much for them to print off something for him would it.

Yes Coffee, been a very busy week but that's how I fly hahaha...think I'd worry if i didn't have a million things going on all at the same time, and it keeps me out of mischief.

Aw sign you're welcome- you listened to me prattling on talking about my stuff enough too.

Sounds like a mixed week for all...I would join u all in a but I'm such a loser lightweight when it comes to drink I'll be up vomiting feeling rough all night!

Hope everyone has a good weekend...

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/10/2011 22:32

Bec, I would find out when the next assembly is and when the day approaches ask the teachers if he will get any awards. If not, tell them that he won't be attending as you are taking him to legoland for his outstanding efforts.

unpa1dcar3r · 14/10/2011 22:49

Ooooh I love it Star ! What a fabulous idea mwhahaha
Yeah go get 'em Beca you tell 'em girl.

Becaroooo · 15/10/2011 07:58

star

You are are fricking genius

The HT already hates me, so why the hell not???

Its so frustrating...they keep saying what great effort he makes, what progress he is making and yet.....nothing!!

(and its usually the same kids at each assembly too )

unpa1dcar3r · 15/10/2011 10:28

Well there, you know what to do now Beca! mw ha ha ha.
Give the HT something concrete to vent his/her spleen on.

It's nice for the kids who do all these amazing things and yes they should be recognised BUT it is so unfair on the other kids when they get nothing even though they've worked hard.
My reports at school (back when we travelled to school by pterodactyl and ate wild boar for lunch!) always gave one grade for attainment and another for effort. So u could have say a C for attainment but an A for effort.

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/10/2011 10:34

If the HT refuses, you can either take him anyway, - or, if you can find a kindly supportive teacher/TA/dinner lady you can make and print a 'legoland' ticket for ds to be presented with for effort, that can be done in secret and he can be told that he couldn't geta prize like that in front of all the other children. Perhaps it can be for his efforts over the last couple of years, which is why it is such a great prize!?

moosemama · 15/10/2011 11:30

I hate the whole prize giving idea too.

Attendance awards always get my goat as well. Most children have no control over whether or not they attend school, particularly if like mine, they have endless doctor and hospital appointments. Kids can't help getting ill either, so penalising them for being off sick is just horrible imho.

Fortunately our school doesn't do this type of award.

What they do do though is star of the week, where every teacher chooses a child once a week who has either tried extra hard, done something kind for another child or whatever. They get a certificate in Friday's assembly and their parent's can come and watch. Every child gets one for something over the course of the year and some children may get it twice.

Both my boys have been star of the week already this year (oddly both on the same day , but for wildly different reasons. Ds1's was for trying hard and settling in to year 5 so well and ds2's was for a particularly good piece of literacy work.

insanityscratching · 15/10/2011 13:27

Hello everyone, sorry never made it on here last night.

Spoke at length with ds's new school yesterday and feel more enthusiastic probably because they took on board my knowledge of ds and fully agreed.

Ds will be visiting on Monday for the first time but it will be a slow and steady transition over the next few weeks depending on how he copes.

Still don't feel brilliant tbh but am going to give it time and might even see GP next week.

Dd got HT award this week for looking after a year 3 with SEN on the school trip. She was delighted and the trophy has pride of place in the living room for the week

Spoke to PP person (who resigned to fight LEA over her ds's statement) and she has instructed my solicitor to fight on her behalf but have decided that once her fight is sorted we are going to team up find other parents who have been similarly treated in our LEA and set about exposing what is going on as from her time at PP she knows that her and my experience are in no way isolated cases.

unpa1dcar3r · 16/10/2011 08:46

Ya know what, sometimes reading these threads about how difficult you all have it with school not accepting your children or trying to get them the help they need, it makes me kinda glad (in an obscure and strange way) that my two or so severe as it is blatantly obvious to anyone and they get the help they need automatically re education.
Shame it doesn't extend to outside services such as SALT/OT/Physio/DLA etc who fight me every step of the way but at least I know they're in a good and supportive school (SN) where everyone sings from the same song sheet and parents input is embraced.
My heart breaks for all the fighting you all have to do for something which is their fundamental right.

purplewerepidj · 16/10/2011 09:00

You're right, unpa. I didn't know dp and sil when dn was getting her dx but she doesn't appear to have had half as much of a battle over it as the folk here. Even though her autism doesn't seem as severe to me as some of the folk I've worked with. I put that down to the fact that I don't work with her, though - she's my niece and I get to do the good stuff (not that I'm not ok with pads etc, just that sil deals with that and I get to do the cuddles and park trips!) Maybe it's the difference in expectation?

Becaroooo · 16/10/2011 09:41

I have pretty much come to the conlusion that I have to write off the next 2 years of ds1's education

I will continue to help him - give him the 1-1 they wont/cant.

And hope for better at his next school....

insanityscratching · 16/10/2011 19:05

I'm more in the same boat as you unpaid. I had no problems getting a dx because it was obvious from the minute the paed saw them what was wrong. They both had statements in place before they started nursery. It was straight forward, requested, assessed and issued no fights.DLA has been awarded at the highest rate from first application no questions.
Yes I've had a hell of a fight to get the independent school but if I'd agreed to thirty hours 1 to 1 it would have been easy.
I suppose they are the advantages of the difficulties being indisputable.Far more difficult when difficulties aren't so obvious I expect.

purplewerepidj · 16/10/2011 19:42

Some of the histories of teens I've known with AS have been awful.

Older adults (think Care in the Community in the 90s) are nightmare-ish.

Things ARE improving, if slowly

unpa1dcar3r · 16/10/2011 22:07

Same here Insanity; eldest went through the statementing process and i didn't even understand what it was at the time- he was 2.3 at diagnosis of FXS and not much older when they began the statement; I just remember this very nice lady coming to meet with me at his SN nursery where he went 2 morns a week, then next thing he got a place at a proper SN nursery 5 morns a week!
It all seems so long ago now (he's 14, youngest nearly 13) seems like a whole life ago!
But when i read all the stories about things happening at children's schools with lack of understanding and support and mums having to fight fight fight so damn hard it makes me realise that in strange way we're kinda lucky...although of course there are more drawbacks in the long run but at least it's one less battle!

I applaud and salute all you mums who fight to get their kids a decent education who get thwarted every step of the way and still get up and keep fighting another round, despite being knackered, hurt, despairing, frustrated, worn out, and freaking bloody angry at the incompetence they have to deal with everyday!

And breeeeathe!

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