I don't know what's the matter with me

[insanityscratching]

I feel really run down, quite possibly depressed when really I should be feeling more positive than I have in months.

I don't have any enthusiasm for getting ds in to the new school which is stupid because I fought for it and know it's right for him.

Ds is remarkably chilled so it's not that I'm getting a hard time there. Dd is no different to usual but I'm finding her exhausting.

The house is a tip and I don't have the energy or the drive to sort it when I have no excuse now as I am not battling any more.

Thinking logically it's ridiculous I feel like I do now after all I've been through and I'm not sure I feel like owning up in RL to just how bad I actually feel as I don't really have an excuse now do I?

Kicks up the bum needed I think

I don't think it's unusual to feel like that, I certainly do, and also feel like I need a kick up the bum We spent 2 years getting dd3 out of ms, nowhere near the battle you had but it was still draining, totally draining, now I have the energy and enthusiasm for nothing. I think you keep going while the pressure is on because you have to, no choice, as soon as it's removed you have a massive bit of a crash. Well, that's my excuse anyway

Kicked

Its called winding down after a long period of hell and fighting.

The fight to get your child the help and provision he needs, the research, the writing etc takes energy along with the day to day running of a household that is a LOT of energy and determination with no time to let up.

Now you have things sorted your body is relaxing and the emotions and stresses are coming out. All normal and human and to be honest its all recent and its human nature to be cagey and expect something to go wrong.

Give yourself time to wind down and then things will start to get better. I didnt kick you that hard :)

Sometimes once you've finally achieved something the blues and rundown feelings kick in due to less adrenaline and the slow in pace. You need a break if possible.

i had a similar experience once ds was in his ss after a long fight to get him provision. I think it was the years of being driven by urgent necessity - ie firefighting continually, so that once things settled down I had forgotten how to function on 'normal' setting IYKWIM and I think my body had too.
Take time to just be. Enjoy little things if you can. Start to do little things for you (if you can).

Yep, after each struggle or fight, it's the aftermath. For me, it's the "oh god, that's done, what's next" thing.

Your system has been flooded with adrenalin on a daily basis as you've been fighting for your cub. That's really not normal. You will be depleted, and your hormones will be all over the place. You'll also be used to functioning on a different adrenal plane - its like drinking 10 cups of coffee a day for 6 months and then stopping - the crash is not pleasant.

Can you get a break? Massage? Be outside cycling or walking? Eat well, carbs soothe the system, light protein, maybe even a vitamin supp at the moment.

God I sound like such a hippy and I'm not! Honest! But you need to rebalance and replenish, basically. {hugs}