What I don't need for Christmas....................

[anniebear]

An alarm clock!!!!!!!!

was lying in bed last night thinking if we would ever use one again!!

In fact I wouldn't even know how to set the alarm clock in our bedroom!!!! Gone are those days!!

We use ours on school days when for some reason the children seem very sleepy and reluctant to get up. Funnily enough they manage to be up at the crack of dawn at week-ends so no alarm clock needed!

We haven't need one for the last 4 years!

I just have visions of a miracle happening one day and Ellie choosing to sleep through for the first time since she was ill!!!

...what i don't need this year is to have to visit my motherinlaw etc....even dh agrees...he's seriously contemplating going there aloneon xmas eve to drop off ALL the inlaws etc pressies....they always spend xmas day at his mums...all 25 of them....too much for us to cope with...andhe will tell her that he will bring up our boys on boxing day- when it is quieter.

Yes Mrs F, I think that sounds a good idea!

and i've just been round my mums and dads and explained that to the boys this is just another day...mum said "but surely they'll want to do X Y Z as its christmas"... and i said..no...as to them it is a pain that everthing is changed on tv...and that they don't like crackers...boxes of chocolates...playing games....etc....

and that they may well not be eating a traditional lunch...but having choc spread sandwhiches...her face was a picture!
i then said that if we let them have as 'normal' a day as possible...then it will be a perfect christmas...but if like last year everyone trys to 'make it special'...then like last yaer i will be crying all of the evening...mum said she would try to pretend it wasn't christmas....i said that was not what i meant....i just said that alex will probably want to play in the garden on the trampoline (as he usualy does) tom will be on the computer - flicking through the argos book (as that's his normal day...even though he'll have had presents he'll still look through tyhe argos book!)...and leigh will be spinning/bouncing/trotting/stimming his way around the house...making us all dizzy....talking about either pokemon...or the ancient egyptians...and if she just lets them do these things that they will come to her 'on their terms' and talk to her...but if she insists they sit nicely with grandma and read a book...well....then she will see what happens.

Im gonna completely hijack the thread now and have a really good old rant and moan.

As some of you know some of my extended family are a bunch of tossers who really believe that J will one day grow out of his Autism. They have a very negative attitude towards him. I'll never forget the comment made by my "she dragon mother" when she introduced us as a family to some of her "golfing laydee" friends...."This is my adopted autistic grandchild....he's not biologically related to me at all"No he isnt and Im bloody greatful that he doesnt have one drop of her poisoned blood running through his veins.

Now the rant.....

September my mother phones and invites herself to our house for Christmas....I had no say in the matter....she was coming and that was that. FGS I am 37 years of age and she will not accept a "No" from me or anyone.

There has been so many phonecalls back and forth to organise transport etc...all of which have been a real PITA considering that neither DH or I are actually medically fit to drive the 7+ hour return journey to collect the old cow.

I woke on Wednesday morning after having an awful night with J...he really has been bubbling over the past few days...very stressy and very very defiantIm tired and feeling really miserable because I know its gonna be another one of those days where I am gonna be 100% exhausted by J's meltdowns and constant stimming, screeching and general sh*tty day!
As I lay in bed I had the most unbelievable thought....my Mother is gonna phone today and say she cant come....last posting day is the next day...I just felt she was gonna make some excuse as to why she cant make it. Dh told me that would be his best chrissy present LOL!

Got the phone call at 10.30am that very same day...she cant come because she feels it would be too painful for her to see her grandchildren...did I understand how hard it was for her to see J the way he is...when are we gonna sort him out and make him better???? WTF?????????
"Christmas is about families spending time together and being happy...I wouldnt be if I came to you because I would feel so sorry for him all the time...i couldnt possibly sit at the table and eat whilst he is eating with his fingers...do you know how upsetting it is...instead I am going to go and stay with your sister"...arh yes that would be the sister who has the NT 3 year old who is leaps and bounds ahead of J...the one she keeps comparing him to

So I sighed a huge sigh of relief....DH shouted yipppeeee and Ds1 cried buckets and for one moment I was almost convinced that he actually liked her[puzzled emotion needed]...I soon worked out that he had sussed that if she was coming down that he would be able to screw a few extra pressies from her
J didnt care too hoots.

Presies were quickly parcelled up and posted out and today the package arrived from her. I opened it and guess what.....nothing at all for JMaybe she forgot to pop them in the parcel???? There are plenty of gifts for Ds1 and even for the children who live next door, who my Mom has only met once....but feels sorry for them because they are from a single parent family and neighbour struggles to feed them let alone buy pressies.

I phone her to ask where J's pressies are...she didnt buy him anything..."Well what do you buy him??? He only breaks things and doesnt appreciate what I get him anyway because he's so destructive...maybe he will learn that he should care for his things and when he does he will get something from me"....COW!!!!!!!

Thats it now...Im finished with her...too many times she has done this. She may have carried me for 9 months and given me my first breath of air but she is no Mother of mine.

There is a wonderful feeling of calmness over our house now...we are all so relieved thats she isnt going to be darkening our doorstep....and never will again.
Its quite liberating actually to be free of something that has caused you so much pain and hurt over the years. All that matters now is us...DH, my guys and me

Sorry for the rant/hijack...I just needed to off load.

Hope you all have a good day, regarless of being christmas an all...just wishing you all have a happy relaxing family day with as little upset as possible.

Blimmin hell JM!!! I can't believe that anyone would be so upfront about it all. She obviously thinks that the world revolves around her and how SHE feels ffs!!! I know what you mean though about feeling liberated when you stop trying to fulfil family obligations but you get little consideration back. Once you're "at peace" with it you can just do what you want. Then they think they can pop up when they feel like it but no they sodding can't!! This is sort-of what I was trying to tell Socci on another thread recently. Do your best, if it aint enough, cut out the poison and DON'T ever feel bad about it. Do things sometimes but only on YOUR terms, not theirs. Have a happy one!

Oh Boy does JM dragon sounds like my WW. (wicked witch!)
With her, she think's she a qualified speech therapist and think's as she was able to correct my children speech once that they are cured. She doesn't think it's genetic even tho i have got a history of speech therapy 5-16yrs and even the genetist says it's genetic!! She's moans about the mess of the house and that i'm letting myself go.
I have had enough and am screening calls. I just want her and her hubby out of my life. Who tends to sit and say nothing to me all day. If he does then it's to mention HIS other grandchildren.
And there's other stuff that have been going on for nearly 9 yrs like me moving house and not informing her and her beloved son (who tried to strangle me) and his wife (the bitch who set me up at my own wedding and then stabs me in the back)hired a PI to find us.
So yep will padlock the gate on Sunday so no one will get in. Or may hide the cars so that ppl will get the impression we gone away.
Just incase she decides to pop in.

God JM...that is so much like my mum...she has never accepted leigh...she never speaks to him...she only sees his meltdowns/fingerfeeding...and still thinks he is just spoilt.

so i'm glad your mum isn't coming...but pissed off that theres such idiotic people around...and thankful that though my parents will be here...they wonb't be here for more than 5 hours.....and i've already told them that if it gets too noisy...they can go home....I AM NOT GOING TO INCREASE THE BOYS ANXIETY BY STOPPING THEM HAVING WHAT FUN THEY DO HAVE....and NO she is NOT going to make leigh pull a cracker etc!!!!!

so sorry jm....i can only say i understand...no suggestions...as if i had any i'd be practising on my mum.

mum still doesn't believe me that i am probably not serving a lunch to tom and leigh...as they would be happier with sandwhiches....and we are cooking our chicken (NOT turkey as leigh can tell the diffeerence)...TODAY not tomorrow...as we have decided to remove as much of the 'stress' from tomorrow....so basically...like it or not my parents will be all but eating a 'reheated...'homemade'....ready/micro meal'!!!! (might manage to roast some parsnips though!!!!)