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Just stopped cleaning. My house will never be anything other than embarrassing and it gets me down sometimes.

28 replies

tallwivglasses · 25/09/2011 23:29

I've spent the last few days cleaning up poo and more poo but today it was paint. Orange-red. DS looked like an umpa-lumpa.

So instead of going with DD to a table-top sale this afternoon (the hi-light of my sad little week), I was scrubbing paint off walls, floors, clothes, rugs while ExP scrubbed DS and we ranted about WHO LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN and WHAT IDIOT PUT THE PAINT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, etc.

My house is an old, cold, falling-down possibly subsiding old wreck. I have no money for repairs and can't get a loan. DS has smeared, defaced, pulled off wallpaper, gouged plaster, flooded, smashed, torn, ripped, demolished, broken or ruined pretty much everything he's laid his hands on.

It's tiring and relentless. Honestly, I think he has a superpower which is to miraculously create filth and gunk out of nothing and then smear it on my bannister.

We try to do so much to meet his sensory needs but it never seems to be enough. I'm pretty sure he knows he's not supposed to grab the washing-up liquid/shampoo/tomato paste/vaseline/flour and chuck it about with a big grin on his face but he just can't resist it. And because he's barely sleeping (the drugs don't work) we're so knackered we're not on the ball enough.
Note I keep saying 'we'. That's because DS needs 2-to-1 most of the time so I spend a lot of time with the man who no longer loves me. A bit hard to move on!

Okay rant over.

And just heard DS yelling thanks for reading x

OP posts:
auntevil · 26/09/2011 00:06

Sad Didn't want to read and run.

SOTIRIA · 26/09/2011 00:33

My son sometimes does similar things and I sympathise with your frustration. You're probably right that he knows it's wrong but is unable to resist the temptation. So well done to you for having a rant here and not doing whatever you really felt like doing.

tallwivglasses · 26/09/2011 08:58

Thanks. Things all look better in the morning, don't they?

DS has just got on the school bus grinning. Another cup of coffee then I'd better get down to some cleaning. Cheers, I really needed that moan Smile

OP posts:
cwtch4967 · 26/09/2011 09:23

I'm just having a coffee a a quiet few minutes before I tackle the patch of poo on the wallpaper in the living room that I noticed earlier. DS bedroom looks like a tip - he has pulled out everything he can get his hands on and had been busy stripping off the wallpaper! I'm also fed up of fishing things out of the loo - cars mostly at the moment. Some days it just gets you down. I was chatting to some mums from dd (NT) school earlier - I would have said come back for coffee but the state of the place put paid to that!!!
(To be fair one of the mums knows the score and just takes it in her stride, the others would have been in shock!!!)

AmberLeaf · 26/09/2011 09:29
bochead · 26/09/2011 09:49

oh you've made me feel so much better! Tis nice to feel perhaps I'm not alone in this.

My washing machine has broken down and over 5 days the amount of dirty laundry created is incredible. Handwashing dirty sheets and blankets is ineffective I'm finding and the ££££ of the laundrette - eeek!

That's before I start on anything else. My home is falling down around my ears and I can't afford to sort it - depressing : (

tallwivglasses · 26/09/2011 14:09

Awful to say it but I'm glad it's not just me! Does any one else wonder around the house sniffing, saying, 'I'm sure I've missed a bit of poo, can't any one else smell it?'

You know those cards, t-shirts etc that explain autism - 'I'm not naughty I'm autistic', etc? I want a sign for the house that says something like 'It's not my choice to live like this - please don't think I'm a filthy slattern...'

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 26/09/2011 16:02

My mum bought me a sign years ago

'It was clean and tidy yesterday.....and no one came'

tallwivglasses · 26/09/2011 19:18

Ha ha Amber - I think I'll make one (and stick it up high so DS doesn't eat it...)

OP posts:
tibni · 26/09/2011 20:09

We have 3 v light coloured walls and 1 v dark wall. Ds got hold of the paint brush while we were desperately trying to tidy up as he had arrived home earlier than expected. Yes it was the dark paint on the light wall - sods law I believe! Ds looked so pleased with his work "painting" he said Grin

I am working towards as wipeable house as possible. Kardean flooring, washable paint walls, no ornaments ..... Ds doesnt smear anymore but his toilet aim isn't accurate so these days I spend lots of time on my hands and knees cleaning the rubber flooring - and the bathroom never seems really clean and fresh to me. I have invested in a tiny steam cleaner (£15 Aldi) to try and combat the fragrance Confused

I don't think people who don't live it can really understand. We are fortunate as the drugs have helped and he sleeps much better these days which makes a difference to how well I can function but I will never have a showhome.

AmberLeaf · 26/09/2011 20:38

I was walking up the stairs today looking at the walls hand prints etc etc and thought why dont they have proper wipable paint/wallpaper?

Does such a thing exist? like a really proper one that works?

Tall, I loved that sign.....until I lost it probably in the mess

Im trying to get a dishwasher sorted, cos that will save a lot of time and effort.

AmberLeaf · 26/09/2011 20:39

I am resigned to wiping piss forever.

tibni · 27/09/2011 08:55

Dulux do endurance and you really can scrub it. I use the magic erasers for the shoes on kicking black scuffs and they do actually come off! Paint doesn't last as long in my house because of the constant washing but I am ok with that. I need to now paint my ceilings with the stuff as ds seems to think he is spiderpig!

I swear I have a heightened sense of smell due to all the incidents over the years. This can make me so OTT with the bathrooms (note steamer and I have been known to fabreze all the tiles and plastic toilet seat).

I once compared housework hours with friends - I do so much more but you would never tell by my house!

But my dc are happy and at least leave the house clean!

AmberLeaf · 27/09/2011 10:37

Im going to look for that Endurance then, ive seen bathroom paint that looks good but its usually a vinyl/shiny finish and I like matt on walls.

I use a lot of Zoflora neat on the floor surrounding the toilets. after mopping I splash a bit on the floor and wipe it over, leaves a lovely smell.

I also walk round sniffing the air!

tibni · 27/09/2011 11:38

Must try Zoflora, I use the "with Fabreze" stuff but steamer is so good at unlodging grot the initial heated wee smell is so overpowering.

Endurance is matt - I know crown and own brands also do versions but I have only used endurance. I wash the worst bits every couple of weeks and I wouldn't use anything else now. Should wipe marks daily but I can't be arsed and dont have the time in that order Smile

AmberLeaf · 27/09/2011 12:11

When you say steamer, do you mean one of those new fangled steamer mop thingies?

I keep hearing about them, are they good? I have a lovely Vileda that has always served me well.

Zoflora is ace.

tibni · 27/09/2011 12:24

I only have a cheap £15 aldi hand held steamer and it is fab!

I can not begin to describe the grott that it has removed. Started attacking toilet hinges and the grott kept coming! Ended up taking seat off (need a chuck up emotion here!) The hole where the plastic screw that hold the seat on!!!!!

bugger - guess which one I have!

www.consumerconnect.ie/eng/News_+_Research/Product_Recalls/Aldi_recalls_Delta_Essentials_steam_cleaner.html

Becaroooo · 27/09/2011 12:39

I just replace toilet seats - cheapo ones from ikea cost £6-7 - so much easier than cleaning the encrusted poo and wee off!!!!

yy to wooden/ceramic floors and leather sofas (cheap ones, obv)

So much easier to clean! Also roller blinds are good as they can be sponge wiped and are out of the way most of the time (curtains are pointless filth attracting swathes of fabric IMO?

Black out blinds are also good.

I have a steamer mop from lakeland (cheapest one - £40 I think?) Its great, no chemicals and I know the floors are really clean, if a bit crumb infested!

Use a lot of febreeze, dettol spray and wipes and baby wipes.

AmberLeaf · 27/09/2011 15:06

Ah those ones! I had a nice little steamer a while back called a Genie, was very good...cant remember what happened to it.

Beccaroo, do they clean really dirty floors? I mean my flooring is very light coloured and if not cleaned well looks awful.

Becaroooo · 27/09/2011 15:32

They really do!

(be prepared to be quite horrified by the state of the pads afterwards though....eewww)

AmberLeaf · 27/09/2011 16:44

May have to get one.

Poss silly/wierd question; What do they smell like when in use?

I remember when I used my mini steam cleaner it smelt dampy like damp plaster.

I like nice smells! like flash etc!

Becaroooo · 27/09/2011 17:00

Dont really smell of anyting tbh...just a bit like a sauna whilst you are using it!

You could always add essential oils to the water????

tallwivglasses · 27/09/2011 23:32

Aw. I'm so glad this turned into a Good Housekeeping (with-a-sn-twist) Thread.
Smile

I agree about steam cleaners. Mine has cut through dried-on shit and food/saliva concoctions that have turned to concrete by the time they've been found Blush or I can be arsed Blush Blush

What ds can do with a squeezy bottle of anything (ketchup, mayo, washing up liquid, paint) in 30 seconds makes me think it should be an Olympic sport. Or new Turner prize catagory maybe.

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 27/09/2011 23:43

Smile I love this board.

Essential oils is a good idea.

Anyone else buy the smaller sized squeezy bottles to limit mess opportunity?

I'll never forget the morning I went into the front room and saw peanut butter smeared all over the TV........only it wasnt peanut butter. Blush

Thankfully its not so bad these days although the walls in the toilets have some interesting patterns Hmm

BurpingHerbert · 28/09/2011 12:00

Ohhhhh! i am so glad I have found this thread!!!!!! Grin

I thought it was my inept-ness(???) that made my house look like hovel!Blush

I have 3 dc, 2 with ASD and I can't keep up with them. As you have all said 'SENSORY ISSUES' are a problem and wallpapers/carpets/clothes/toys being chewed/shredded then scattered about/ stuck to wall/siblings.

It seems never-ending!

My house is stagnant! And its not through lack of trying but after reading this thread I don't feel quite so bad.

(I still won't be inviting friends round though) Blush