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SN children

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Original poster

5 year old party invites

19 replies

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 20:47

This is my first post in SN, so please be gentle. DD1 has a classmate who i think has a diagnosis of Autism, and gifted in mathematics. She went to preschool with the girl (part time) and they are starting reception together.

From what i know her parents were unsure about a special needs school versus mainstream primary and have gone for a mix to see how it works out. I think her DD will be in mainstream reception (with DD1) 1 day per week and the rest at her exisiting SN school.

The only thing i really know is that the girl is sensitive to sound and light and easily 'spooked'.

DD1's party will be active games, parachute, musical statues etc.

I really don't know whether to invite her (which i would love to do), but don't want her parents to think 'well of course she won't cope with it so why the bloody hell has Sazz even sent her an invite to something she can't go to'.

I guess my question is, do i invite her or not (or speak to her mum on the side to explain?)

Sorry if i upset anyone here, it is not my intention. I would just love some perspective from the other side of the situation.

TIA

OP posts:

LeninGrad · 23/09/2011 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 21:00

Thanks Lenin. I would love to invite her but don't want to offend in some way by being unthinking.

The invite doesn't specify activities, but i can easily hand the invite to Mum (as she is a helper at DD2's preshool) and outline the activities.

OP posts:

mumgoingcrazy · 23/09/2011 21:01

Definately invite her. Even if the party isn't suitable and the mum decides not to take her it'll mean the world to her (and her DD) that she even got an invitation.

I usually try and talk to the mum beforehand about the party so I can prep DD2 before we go. I always say too, that if things get too much we may make a swift exit and this has always been fine with the mum.

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 23/09/2011 21:03

Invite her and let the parents have as much info as possible so they can make the decision themselves.

People with disabilities are often excluded from life because others make assumptions on their behalf or just think they're too much hard work Congratulations on being in the select minority of people who are genuinely lovely

Original poster

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 21:04

Great, thankyou. I will definitely invite and have a word with her mum. The party is at our gym, so i am thinking, even if she can't go to the whole thing, her mum can always take her for a swim (if she like that) as they will have access to the whole place.

OP posts:

insanityscratching · 23/09/2011 21:12

Another one here who says invite please. Ds hates parties and was invited to only two in his own school life. We turned down the invitations (but sent a lovely gift) and it meant the world to me that the parents thought to ask.

Original poster

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 21:19

Ok, i definitely will. Thankyou for your perspective on this

OP posts:

Original poster

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 21:23

Just had another thought.

Should i just put the invite into the girls tray in reception class (as with al the others), or give it to her mum directly (at preschool) and chat it through with her?

Sorry if i am overthinking this

OP posts:

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 23/09/2011 21:58

Treat her exactly the same as the other children, then have a quiet word with the Mum as soon as you can afterwards

coff33pot · 23/09/2011 23:23

Oh I would definately invite and put it in the childs tray as then she also has the thrill of opening the invite along with everyone else

DS has had two invites in 3 years of his schooling. He couldnt cope with going but the invites are still stuck on my fridge and he takes them down to show dd he has invites too

Eveiebaby · 24/09/2011 22:47

Definately invite - the mother will decide if her child can cope with the party so it may be an idea to talk the mother through exactly what will be happening - I can assure you the mother will be thrilled to have an invite whether or not her dd attends

Original poster

SazZaVoom · 24/09/2011 23:02

Thankyou all for your helpful advice. I will invite her and hope she can come along for at least a bit of it

OP posts:

kimt83 · 25/09/2011 09:18

glad youv decided to send invite.

with my dude i prefer the parents to ask before invites get sent because he gets very very upset if he cant go because if which ever reason. mostly the parents of kids that want to invite him (which seems like every kid in the school O.o ) plan their parties round him. so step free or if isnt step free make sure they have big strong men to lift chair/child lol but i know this is really really rare in sn community. wer just really lucky

SazZandASparkler · 19/11/2011 21:14

A quick update - thanks to all who posted. The little girl did come and her mum stayed 'just in case' she was spooked by noise/lights etc.

They all had a great time and she joined in just like all the other littlies. It was lovely to see

brandy77 · 19/11/2011 21:16

auntevil · 19/11/2011 21:53

Ronifromwales · 19/11/2011 22:18

that's great! since my son moved to the sn unit in his school, he never had any invites and although I know he doesn't miss it (because he doesn't know), deep down I feel terrible. :(

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 19/11/2011 22:19

Lovely

SazZandASparkler · 19/11/2011 22:29

Thanks all . I spoke to her mum and she said that her DD knew whos party it was and was talking about the other children who were coming and was really pleased that her DD recognised she was part of a 'group'. She said the mainstream element of her schooling seemed to have helped her in leaps and bounds in this regard and she was very happy to see it.

They are continuing with the SN schooling element as they can't see her coping with FT mainstream school, but will continue to see how it goes.

Ron - that is so sad and i really hope he has an invite sometime soon.

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