Actually, Twiglett, all this has made me think quite long and hard. In truth, my DS's mobility disability does not bring to my life the ongoing complexities of other differences, but there are plenty of lurches to the heart, plenty of frustrations with hospital services, and plenty plus comments from the Great British Public, and that was what I was mainly commenting on in my 'shout' below. And I'm aware that, in many ways, whatever anyone says to me is wrong! I get irritated when people say 'oh isn't it amazing, he'll be fine, there's nothing to worry about is there', and I get irritated when anyone attempts to be'supportive' and ask about how dreadful it must have been when he was in hospital, and 'how am I feeling now about bone-lengthening / amputation' when neither will happen for at least 4 years... But really, it's crabby and churlish of me not expect everyone to be able to talk about something which is not part of many people's experience, and the language of which has been defined by the exaggerated sentimentality of the Charity Appeals. It's very hard for parents to accept sympathy, or even acknowledgement, on one level when what they really need in a practical sense is being ignored in every other arena, a fight for schooling, for appropriate benefits, appointments, and for parents to be treated as intelligent dignified beings rather than bears of very little brain to be fobbed off. Of course, none of this is the fault of the people being sympathetic, but when all these things have been addressed, and we have fought for a world in which our children can live their lives to the best of their fulfillment, just like everyone else, then difference and disability WILL be ordinary.
Sorry if this is a rant, I didn't mean it to be, and I think I would consider sainthood (or my secular version thereof) for those parents who do take on the big campaign fights and make a difference in the way the wider needs of all children like theirs are met.
And , hey, good luck with your pregnancy...not looking at those threads, so don't know where you are with it!