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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

For all you special mums

39 replies

twiglett · 22/10/2003 19:06

message withdrawn

OP posts:

doormat · 22/10/2003 19:13

mrsforgetful · 22/10/2003 21:12

I will read this each time i 'lose my patience' or question myself- and try not to see this as weakness.

dinosaur · 22/10/2003 21:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Rebi · 22/10/2003 21:46

It's lovely twiglett - thank you.

eidsvold · 22/10/2003 21:49

I am going to get this copied onto 'nice'paper. Have a colleague who has twins with a variety of special needs from CP to blindness, hearing loss etc and she is my inspiration..... she truly is a special mother...

eidsvold · 22/10/2003 21:50

oh yeh - I cried too....

ThomCat · 23/10/2003 10:16

I don't think I've ever cried like that over a poem/story! It was lovely and thanks so much for sharing that. I'll print that out and share it with others. Thank you.

fio2 · 23/10/2003 14:37

Am I the only one who doesnt like these poems? I think they are just pukesville! Sorry twiglet no offence to you

Go on you can all call me hard faced now!

ThomCat · 23/10/2003 15:20

Oi you hard faced old bag!!!!!!!!
Don't blame you Fio. I was just born soppy and I thought it was lovely!

My mum banned me from watching Lassie when I was a girl becasue I cried too much!

It's this biut that really got me:

She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see: ignorance, cruelty,
prejudice... and allow her to rise above them.

It's just so true and

Jimjams · 23/10/2003 15:25

No fio2 I'm a hard nosed cow as well. I know they're always meant with the best of intentions- and this one is better than most becuase at least it mentions selfishness etc I always feel like poiniting out that anyone can become a mother of a disabled child. It always just seems a bit smug to me.

i do agree that the lines Thomcat picked out are rather good.

Anyway this is a poem I like:

I may be silent, but
I'm thinking
I may not talk, but
Don't mistake me for a wall

Not very sentimental is it? Short and to the point.

Thanks for sharing it though twiglett. I'm off to boil my cauldron

Bozza · 23/10/2003 15:38

Love that poem jimjams. Very succinct (sp?).

ThomCat · 23/10/2003 15:57

Twigglet - I emailed it to a woman who runs a website and magazine for parents of and people with Down's syndrome. She'd really like to use it in her next issue. Do you know the origins of it so that she can get copy right clearance for it?? Sorry - bet you wished you'd never posted it now!

fio2 · 23/10/2003 15:57

Sorry Yes Thomcat the bits you picked out were lovely and jimjams your poem was good too - to the point as you say. I just think its the chosen by god bit. God must of really loved me, he gave me a chronically and terminally ill sister and then a learning disabled child with no diagnosis - just test after bloody test. Not bitter though just dont think Im any more special than the next person and I have also met some bloody vile SN parents just lately - well one in particular. Was it Davros who said about competitive sn parents? - well I've had the pleasure of meeting one!

Twiglet just ignore me as I said before no offence to you or anyone who likes it

fio2 · 23/10/2003 15:58

whoops sorry for the rant - time of the month

doormat · 23/10/2003 16:04

fio I actually agree with you.
Sorry twiglett it is a nice poem but it really upset me last night as like fio says I dont feel like a special mum, I find things like that patronising to my situation but that is just my opinion.
I just get on with it and cope because I have to.
Not because I am a special mum.

doormat · 23/10/2003 16:06

But it still is a nice poem twiglett
I dont want to offend you.

Jimjams · 23/10/2003 16:13

That's true doormat- I always say that I cope becuase I have to, the same as anyone in my situation (or worse). Ohh fio- tell us more- she sounds a gem

doormat · 23/10/2003 16:16

Jimjams I hate the comment "ooh how do you cope" I think that is the most patronising, stupidest comment ever.

Jimjams · 23/10/2003 16:22

"oh gosh I just don't know how you do it?"

err well I get up, I look after them, I put them to bed then I have a glass of wine like anyone else". They seem to forget we love our kids as well so we want to take care of them.

I always think these things are so smug "my child's perfect, and your's isn't, but oh you're such a special mum" yuck vomit.

sorry twiglett, I'm just a bit of a witch (bought a broomstick yesterday- 1.49 bargain)

ThomCat · 23/10/2003 16:29

I agree with what you are saying totally girls.

I have a couple of mates who have said 'she couldn't have been born to better parents - you're so loving and caring and DP just doesn't care what anyone thinks'- WHAT??

Or comments like this:
Didn't I tell you that you were chosen to have Lottie? That only you would
appreciate every special moment with her, much more so than anyone else I
know. And you have been given the chance to educate so many people who don't
understand or are just ignorant, and that makes you very special too.

Very sweet and well meant but no, no no.... I wasn't 'chosen' it just happened to me and I'm just getting on with it because I love her and I have to!!! What's so special about loving your child?

Anyway Twigglet I still liked the story/poem and the end bit about not taking things for granted made me cry.

Easy · 23/10/2003 16:30

Jimjams,

Thats like when I was a child, and had various operations to get my hips, feet etc. to work. So many people would say (and still do) "aren't you brave, going thru all this"

But the answer is I wasn't brave, just didn't have any choice, just had to go thru it.

Looking back tho' I think my parents were very strong, to fight for my treatment and education (and that of my sister)as they did. It would have been much easier to cosset us at home, and ignore the rest.

doormat · 23/10/2003 16:32

ROFLJimjams about the broomstick.

Blu · 23/10/2003 16:37

I just always want to shout 'it's ORDINARY. Difference and disability are just an ordinary part of life.'
And heaven forbid that ANY parent would not take special pride in their child's achievements.

However I'm damn certain I'm not ever going to get singled out for sainthood any other way, so i'll just scoop this one up and take the applause, darlings!

ThomCat · 23/10/2003 16:53

Blu -

Poor old Twigglet - see you were being nice and thought we were all lovley and in fact we're just a brood of witches!
Please don't feel at any point you shouldn't have posted that though - you should have - it's just that we're all a bit anti special needs children = special mum and any excuse for us to shout about it aye girls - don't be scared of us!!! We're nice people really - just not special that's all!!

fio2 · 23/10/2003 17:40

Sorry twiglet I opened a can of worms here! I'm just a miserable git. Jimjams I darent post about THAT WOMAN just in case she lurks here

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