Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Eating dilema

40 replies

Claw3 · 18/09/2011 14:43

Ds's diet is extremely limited, chips, bread, cheerios, grapes and thats about it, he is 7 years old and that is all he has ever eaten.

He has surprised me by just requesting that i cook him some chicken nuggets. He has never eaten any meat as he "doesnt eat dead animals" he also tells everyone "im a vegetarian"

Now my dilema, he is under the impression that chicken nuggets are not meat. Do i let him eat them without telling him that they in fact made out of chicken in the hope that he will like them and want to continue eating them before someone tells him.

Do i tell him with the risk of him then never trying them. I want him to eat, but i dont want him never to trust me again.

OP posts:

Tomorrowslookingfine · 18/09/2011 14:59

Hmmm difficult decision... Could you perhaps get some of the vegetarian "fake" chicken nuggets that are made to look/taste like real ones?

I think I would tell him the truth before he eats them, and let him make the choice for himself, as its not worth losing his trust IMO.

justaboutstillhere · 18/09/2011 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizzieMo · 18/09/2011 18:29

I agree with Tomorrowslookingfine - get the Quorn ones. That way you are not risking his trust in you. This is an opportunity for him to try something new, I would not let it go by.

IndigoBell · 18/09/2011 18:53

They're called chicken nuggets.

You can feign surprise that he didn't realise they were meat given their name.

There is no way I would not feed them to him given his limited diet.

nightcat · 18/09/2011 22:20

well, you could verbally dress them up that they are good for something, eg to keep strong and healthy or similar, this is not exactly a lie tho I suppose it depends how much meat is actually in them, b/c we do need some animal protein to build our own muscles, I would even go as far as making them myself (which is what I often did in the past and still do occasionally now)

They do need to learn to eat a variety of foods, so grab the opportunity :)

ouryve · 18/09/2011 22:35

DS1 insists he is vegetarian, but eats meat almost every day! He doesn't count ham, hot dogs or beefburgers as meat.

I'd cook him what he asks for. If his diet is so limited, he'll need the nutrients from it.

Original poster

Claw3 · 18/09/2011 22:40

We have tried lots of different meat alternatives and ds wont touch them. We have had Dietician, OT, CAMHS, food groups etc, none of which have worked. He is severe anemic.

Well he has eaten them now, he ate 4 and asked could he have the same tomorrow. I feel bad about not being honest with him. I have justified it to my myself with im also not entirely honest with him about father christmas or the tooth fairy either!

OP posts:

ouryve · 18/09/2011 22:58

I think he can start to reject foods on ethical grounds when he has a better understanding of the need to eat a wide range of foods for the sake of his own health. I wouldn't feel guilty.

silverfrog · 18/09/2011 23:00

glad he has eaten and enjoyed them - I don't envy you your dilemma, Claw.

I just wanted to say: document this - it is more evidence of his inability to understand the world around him (ref: verbal comprehension scores and how that doesn't translate into everyday life).

If he had asked for "nuggets" then fair enough, easy(ish) mistake to make. but he asked you for chicken nuggets, and has not realised they contain chicken? get it logged.

IndigoBell · 19/09/2011 06:49

Silver frog - my kids didnt realise chicken nuggets came from chicken, at 7.

VoldemortsNipple · 19/09/2011 07:07

claw3 he is probably only saying he is vegetarian as another way of refusing food rather than an ethical decision. Well done to your DS for trying something new. It must have been very scary for him.

Original poster

Claw3 · 19/09/2011 09:43

Ouryve exactly, he doesnt understand that chicken nuggets are made of chicken, because they dont look like a chicken.

Good point Silver it is a perfect example and ive scribbled that down.

Voldemort, my thoughts exactly. The perfect excuse to exclude more food.

His 'ethics' started when he was about 3 years old and a Paed asked him "do you eat chicken" he looked at her in horror and disgust and replied "you DONT eat chickens, they live on farms". I think he had visions of literally picking up a chicken and on a farm and eating it! But he has never eaten meat, even as a baby, the only baby food he would eat was one particular meat free variety. He had the same thing, every single day, even then.

His confusing 'ethics' come from his love of animals. We had a chat about them last night and he doesnt want to eat 'cute' animals. I pointed out that chickens were not 'cute' and that it would be ok to eat them!

OP posts:

Marne · 19/09/2011 10:59

Claw your ds sounds just like dd1 (and they are the same age), she tells people she's a vegatarian but she does eat McDonalds nuggets and will often have a bite of a sausage, she wont eat any (what i call) real meet so no chops, stew, roast ect..., he diet is quite limited, to cheese sandwiches, crisps, grapes, strawberries and pizza.

I wouldn't actually tell him that nuggets come from an animal, as long as he does not ask then you are not lying . (chickens are birds anyway, so slightly different to cows and sheep).

Original poster

Claw3 · 19/09/2011 13:14

Thanks Marne, i will tell him that chickens are birds, so slightly different as well as not being 'cute'!

Over the years i keep trying to introduce again, what i call 'kid food' ie nuggets, sausage rolls, fish fingers etc, but it never works. So him actually asking for chicken nuggets, is a real break through. I was trying to think of similar food to nuggets and ive got some fish fingers, will try these tonight. Although of course he doesnt eat fish either, as he is a 'vegetarian'!

He announces to everyone and anyone who will listen "im a vegetarian", its his party piece and when he says that he eats chicken nuggets, someone is going say something eventually. So if we can establish in the meantime that chicken and fish are not 'cute' AND strictly speaking are NOT animals as such, he might accept that

OP posts:

Marne · 19/09/2011 18:12

Ah, Dd1 says 'i am vegetarian, but i dont eat veg and i eat fish fingers' , tell him fish does not count as meat, they are stupid creatures and Cod is very ugly (not cute at all).

Good luck with the fish fingers, dd1 will only eat them if they have no dark bits in (which is imposible).

nightcat · 19/09/2011 23:28

well, you can also be half-vegeterian (like my ds used to describe himself in the past) when u eat ham and such like :)

Original poster

Claw3 · 20/09/2011 09:41

Well, my 'vegetarian' who doesnt eat fish, ate 2 fish fingers last night!! But decided that fish was something he didnt want to eat until he was 10

Funny how he can talk about fish fingers and fish and not see the connection. I was waiting for the 'are fish fingers made of fish' but it didnt happen. Im quite happy to make the most of it, while it lasts.

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 20/09/2011 09:42

Well done little claw.

He's doing so well, you should be really proud of him.

Original poster

Claw3 · 20/09/2011 09:54

Oh i am indigo it feels like light at the end of the tunnel. We have tried everything, every expert, ive read every book, tried every approach known to man etc, etc and nothing. Then ds decides out of the blue, im going to eat chicken nuggets!

One thing i have noticed is his eating tends to go in cycles, so he will eat nothing but chicken nuggets for the next 3 months and exclude chips, bread etc. Then chicken nuggets will be excluded and he will nothing but chips for the next 3 months, then bread and so on and on. But still progress as chicken nuggets will now be in cycle and they were not before. Hopefully fish fingers too. Next step trying to get something else on the plate with the chicken nuggets, maybe a chip!

OP posts:

nightcat · 20/09/2011 10:08

well done little Claw, we are allowed to change our mind you know :D

Marne · 20/09/2011 11:52

Well done, he's doing really well.

Fish fingers are not made of fish as fish do not have fingers .

Original poster

Claw3 · 20/09/2011 12:36

LOL Marne this is exactly the kind of logic ds has

OP posts:

justaboutstillhere · 20/09/2011 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 20/09/2011 14:24

Oooh - turkeys are nearly as ugly as cod! (And a little more iron rich than chicken)

Claw - for combining protein and carbs, how about fish cakes? I ventured into Tesceurgh, the other day, and they've started selling the Jamie Oliver ones, which are really quite nice and don't have the instant mashed potato flavour that the Birds Eye ones have.

(DS2 is so much better than he used to be with his food - our latest breakthrough is getting him to eat veg - by serving them coated in breadcrumbs!!! We've been working our way through a lot of the frozen veggie burgers etc that Sainsburys do and so far, he loves the vegetable burgers and nut cutlets, but not the vegetable dunkers)

Original poster

Claw3 · 20/09/2011 17:24

Ugly turkey burgers are now next on my list i will get some and give them a go. Ds is have chicken nuggets again tonight, ive only just given them to him, so fingers crossed! (i also put a few chips on too and he hasnt said anything yet, he is waiting for them to get cold and not taking much notice)

I dont think he would do fish cakes, he is petrified of mash, that is one food he cant even stand to be around! I could give veggie burgers etc a go again. He didnt eat them last time round, but who knows now, seems the world is his oyster (sorry, i couldnt resist!)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2