"Invisible disability" and people on about benefit frauds

[Triggles]

I think it's time I started avoiding AIBU. I get so tired of the "My neighbour/best friend's uncle/first cousin twice removed is claiming DLA and I don't think he's disabled as I don't see any disability, should I shop him to benefits fraud?" threads. It's reaching a point where there are a few a week now, I swear.

There's the "of course you shop them, they're stealing from us taxpayers" responses and the "yes definitely shop them, we all know how easy it is to get on disability" responses and my personal favourite "yes, after all, if they have nothing to hide, it shouldn't be a problem to be investigated."

Yes, except for if they have a mental illness, think of the disruption and stress, which could set them back. And don't they temporarily stop benefits while they are investigating? That could cause someone some serious financial problems. But then, yeah, okay, they really are disabled (which isn't a huge shock, since they had to have medical proof and documentation with the DLA form) so even though their life has been turned upside down completely, a month or so later it'll hopefully be sorted out and everything's fine? It just seems to me that people are far too quick to judge and report people without a shred of evidence at all - often not even knowing what a person's disability is before deciding they are fraudulent.

God, I truly hate people who think that just because they can't SEE a disability, there ISN'T one.

I know lots of annoying daily mail readers, but they're nothing like the lovely lady I know who actually is a DLA decision maker. She said they do get a few obvious fraudsters, but there are lots of 'really' disabled people who clearly should be getting it but havent given the right info on the form. They aren't medically trained, they have to follow their dwp guidebook exactly and they only get a short time to read each application so they can't use discretion.

Fortified, please do apply, maybe do like starlight did and get someone from the dwp to do your forms so they use the buzzwords and fill it out in the right way so they can say yes. The cerebra guide is very good as well.

Starlight
We too were reported, by a woman with an autistic child, because my husband was an adult and couldn't possibly be autistic, he was just lazy and making it up, and our kids couldn't be on the spectrum either, because they could talk and get good academic results. She knew the hell I went through each and every day, getting them sorted, keeping the routine, seeing teachers. In fact we'd moved them out of one school because it was so bad and she followed us to the other school.
(sighs).

DS looks so 'normal' but he has been out of mainstream school since 6 when I withdrew because of how he was treated he's now 17 and only just achieving things that most kids do at 7 or 8 he only learned to read 18 months ago.

Oh star, just cross posted, had not realised about dd. I'm so sorry.

PM me if you want, Im thinking some practical / form filling / service negotiating or whatever else might be useful.

Yes. I got higher rate. I told people on MN because I wanted people to understand that having HFA wasn't a disqualifying factor, it is based on NEED.

Someone on MN who has a ds with physical as well as learning difficulties reported me and told the benefits agency that I was training people how to apply fraudulently.

What I was doing, was encouraging people to apply, and referring them to websites such as cerebra, and sometimes re-posting information from there on here.

Anyway, it came to nothing because I could answer all the questions at the 'interview' honestly and accurately without stumbling or hiding anything but it was still a scary experience.

Maria, SINCE I completed my application form I have learned about how I could do it myself and where to find information. Thank you.

And I have reposted the information and links many times, but not had to use it myself yet.

I suppose I should just get on with it. The questions can't be that hard for me now as I am in a world where I know minute to minute what ds' needs are.

It is just like a huge rain cloud hanging over my head, but I really should get on with it I suppose. It is a lot of money, and we do need it.

I remember all the fighting you had over everything Starlight [sorry if I've got you mixed up with someone else] I'm so sorry to hear about your DD.

It was an interrogation. And even worse, the 'interviewer' wouldn't tell me what I was accused of. He just asked me a series of questions.

He wrote down what I said and made me sign it. I insisted that I have a photocopy and he looked quite annoyed but did give it to me.

He kept saying silly things like 'so you are saying that you don't give advice on MN?' and I kept saying 'I didn't say that. I am proud of the advice I give on MN, but I am saying that I do not suggest that anyone commits fraud'.

And he said 'Are you saying that your ds CAN run then?' and I say 'of course he can run, I have never put on any form that he can't'. 'Ah, so are you saying that he hasn't got a physical disability?' Me: 'No, ASD is a physical disability, it is organic in nature, it is how the brain is made, which is physical, I am saying that his awareness of danger is such that he needs extra supervision when out on the roads'

Him: 'Well, that was one of the accusations, that the person who reported you saw your ds walk safely and stop at a road'

Me: 'DS often likes to pretend he is a train, when he gets to a line/curb he pretends it is a level crossing. He will stop if he is playing that game. If he is not, he will not. He has learned the route to school and is okay with 'some' of the extensively practised rules about certain roads, but if we go somewhere different or take a different route, he is not'.

Me: 'So what happens now then?'

Him: 'Well, probably the fraud team will monitor your internet use and use their technology to see what is on your computer, and you might get videoed when out and about in the street, then they will decide whether or not to investigate further'

I have since learned that both these 'threats' are indeed absolute nonsense. It was unbelievable stress though. My dad had just been diagnosed iwth 10 days to live and he died 7 days later. They would not postpone the interview despite me telling them that, and they lied about what the interview was about. They told me to bring my mortgage details, my last pay slips etc etc, and details of dh's and my savings which quite frankly were god knows anywhere as I haven't worked in ages and my dh pays the mortgage.

My dad was dying, and I spent his last days, not at the hospital with him, but scrabbling around my already massively disorganised home scouting for documents they only pretended they needed.

NO NOT DD - sorry. I meant Dad.

So so sorry. Didn't mean to cause anyone alarm.

starlight that is absolutely horrific.

DS got LR mobility from 5 because of his refusing to walk, falling and being totally unaware of dangers no one really questioned it. He has been awarded mobility indefinately but his care runs out at 19, dreading it as it will be the new style benefit and don't know if they'll take away his mobilty award.

Green eyed monster Leonie they can have the DLA money if they take 16 years of no sleep, meltdowns, assaults on themselves and other DC, all the meetings hospital appointments, therapy's etc.

God, isn't that the truth. Anyone that thinks it's a perk obviously has not lived with a child with SNs.

I tried to turn the situation around on the other thread - pointing out that technically someone could become suspicious of her sick friend as well - after all, she's not working, out and about with her children, no physical disability - what's to stop someone else from thinking she's fraudulently claiming? It's no different, is it really? I'm sure she'll come back and say it's completely different. I just don't understand why we continue to bang our heads against the wall trying to get people to understand.

I think it should be a rule on MN that if you're going to post in AIBU (or anywhere else) regarding DLA or benefits, that you successfully complete a short quiz first or you're not allowed until you've educated yourself about it enough to complete the quiz. Boy... that'd get rid of a lot of those posters.

Yes, it was horrific. But you know it wasn't especially the top of horrific experiences with agencies that I have had to deal with.

The horrible thing about this one was that my dad was being treated very badly in the hospital that he was in (think leaving his fluid drip having run out and bleep bleep bleeping in his ear from 8pm when I left him and 10am the following morning when I came back) and trying to get him into a hospice with all the different departments (doctors, nurses, mcmillan nurses, hospice staff, consultants, transport) blaming each other for why it wasn't happening as promised for the 7th time.

But anyway. You have all given me the kick up the bum I need and I will do the form tonight. I have just had a quick look through the questions and I don't think it will take me long. I'll fill it in, and then check it against the cereba guidlines to make sure I have completed the buzz-word bingo.

On a serious note has the Daily Fail thought if we all put our DC'S in care we could financially scupper the government. Our DS (adopted) was in residential care and costing £5000 pounds/week Give us that they can stuff the benefits where the sun doesn't shine!! Slightly off OP's thread but am so fed up of benefit scrounger slagging!

no, the benefit scrounger slagging is part and parcel of the whole thing, really, as many of those with invisible disabilities are accused of scrounging.

I don't discuss my finances with neighbours etc EVER , envy is the most evil of emotions and only encourages spite born of predjudice & ignorance. As far as I'm concerned only VERY close family will ever have any idea whether I survive on income support or a £50K salary - I've been that way all my adult life. Money isn't summat discussed in "polite" company.

Noone ever truly knows what goes on behind someone else's front door and my own life is too tough for me to have time to be nosing into other people's business. It is amazing how many people out there DO feel the need to judge others and condemn with only half the facts. I'm still waiting for a truthful documentary to be done on ADHD showing the reality of that condition (& that's not one my own kid has, I'm just shocked by the predjudices and nasty comments you hear in the media about it!).

If you pitch people against each other then they'll stop attacking the government.

It is horrendous enough actually going trough the process of claiming the much needed and deserved DLA but then to add insult to injury often you have to justify what you spend it on for the social services!
Every pound!

I spent some yesterday on attending a conference about the condition my boys have. 180 miles away. Could've claimed the money from SS to go but wouldn't - partly cos they'd interrogate me first and partly cos I wouldn't have the cheek but I am entitled to do that. Instead I used some to learn even more about my sons' condition so I can be an even better parent carer and so I can understand them more and in turn educate the so called professionals I deal with daily. Up at 5am, looong journey and not home til 9pm. Bloody long day and me totally worn out and brain dead after.
But there we are, some will see that as me having me jollies at the tax payers expense no doubt!!!

If you pitch people against each other then they'll stop attacking the government

Need a thumbs up sign on here Star but there isn't one.
Anyway I've been saying this for years; all the time the govt control the media into vilifying the masses they are drawing attnetion away from their own many failings. And people are stupid enough not to see that.