Ds has just told me

[Claw3]

Ds has just told me a 'teacher' he had never met before took him into a room and asked him to write down all the things that he worries about. She then told him that 'he worries about too many things'

Are school supposed to tell me if they plan to assess him?

Im assuming this was an outside agency, as he knows his class teacher, TA, SENCO etc.

I am also assuming that playing the tit for tat game and trying to find fault with me, as i have been writing notes in his home/school book everytime ds expresses to me what he is anxious about (gathering evidence for SA).

Claw, what is your long term goal here? I worry that you are going t oget to the point (if you are not there already) where you have an irretrievable break down of trust between you and the school.

I know they've treated you badly. I know they've denied your DS help he needs, and that does need addressing. But 'catching them out' is not the way to be looking at it (only my opinion).

At the moment, you give the impression that you are doing a 'tug of war' with the school, and your DS is in the middle .

Is there no way that you and the school can go back to the beginning and look for things you can agree on?

Hi Lougle, my long term goal is for school to follow recommendations of help for ds. They are not following them as in their opinion ds doesnt need this help. I do not trust the school to do what is in ds's best interest, this might not be deliberate on their part, as they do not understand ds or his needs, his needs are complex and complicated, which is even more reason for them to follow the recommendations.

Perhaps 'catching them out' was the wrong phrase, but it does very much feel like school and i are working against each other and this is all a big game to them. I was hoping that once school acknowledge that ds hasnt met his IEP targets, SALT targets etc, etc, we could then work on what recommendations could be followed in order to help him achieve targets.

Going back to the beginning, is impossible as school keep telling me and everyone else that ds doesnt have the difficulties that he has, so doesnt need the help. If we cant even agree on, if ds has met his targets or not, which is there in black and white, i cant see us agreeing on much else.

I would very much like to have a good working relationship with the school and perhaps i do need to change my approach, im just not sure how to.

Is this the only viable school for your DS?

Sorry should have added i was planning on asking school for a meeting, where we literally list his difficult and what help they have in place to met this difficult. But the stumbling block is the targets, if they keep insisting that he has met his targets, when he hasnt, they are not about to acknowledge that the help he has had in place for over a year now, just isnt working.

The anxiety management is not something that ds has received until literally now. If he is going off and having 1:1 with a mentor, thats brilliant, thats what he needs. (school claimed at Tribunal that ds has been receiving this help, well at least since Tribunal 5 months ago, when it has been put into place literally yesterday, because CAMHS are coming) I dont really care, that it has put in place because CAMHS are coming, just that they continue with help, when CAMHS are not coming and are open and honest about progress.

My concern with moving ds, is that i moved him to this school during the SA last time. The was very much an air of 'lets wait and see how he gets on at this school' at Tribunal as ds's last school were very obviously not meeting his needs and making no attempt to. I had to move him from his last school, as he was refusing school, self harming etc, etc.

When he started at this school, they were brilliant, he was getting 20 hours of 1:1 and they were very supportive of me saying they would back my request for a statement. 1:1 was stopped just before tribunal as 'it became apparent that ds didnt need it' and SENCO appeared as a witness for the LA (yea i know school are there as a witness for the child, not either side) but i felt like they very much had a game plan.