Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Flip

Original poster

Coping levels and going to Defcon 4

20 replies

Triggles · 11/09/2011 18:20

I am fast becoming tired of having to say to DH "please stop going over the top at every little thing and making it a confrontation." Is it a guy thing? Honestly? He looks at every meltdown, every shout, every reaction from DS2 as a direct act of defiance.

This afternoon he started shouting because DS2 was disassembling markers at the table, when they were colouring with them. (Yes, the colouring was my idea - some days I feel like I have to tie the proverbial pork chop around the boys' necks to get DH to spend time with them) So I pointed out calmly to DS2 that if he took the marker apart, he couldn't use it anymore. Problem solved. How hard is that, really?

I truly hate having these ongoing pissing matches in the house.....

OP posts:

sazale · 11/09/2011 18:45

That sounds like my house!! It's driving me insane!!

Original poster

Triggles · 11/09/2011 19:30

Doesn't it just make you think "why does he need to make it such a battle?" DH, I mean. He was getting all aggravated because the boys would have coloured marker marks on their fingers. So what? Don't most children?!

OP posts:

BabeRuthless · 11/09/2011 19:36

God, I could have started this thread myself tonight. Big problem in our house is dp making totally unrealistic threats. This afternoon when I was trying to get ds to do his homework it was "Do it, or you're going up to bed" which I had to put the mockers on straight away. He also tells ds if he doesn't behave his toys are going back to the shop. Another problem is they rough and tumble all the time then dp complains when ds takes it too far. And another one is walking away when ds plays up, leaving me to deal with it.

Sorry for the hijack Rant over.

Original poster

Triggles · 11/09/2011 19:42

BabeRuthless - we have identical households then. The exact same stuff happens here. And then I have to deal with the fallout - DH in a rotten mood, and DS2 upset and going into meltdown.

OP posts:

BabeRuthless · 11/09/2011 19:56

I think this is proof enough - it is a man thing.

Original poster

Triggles · 11/09/2011 20:04

I rather suspected it was. It's right up there with farting, scratching their bum, and not asking for directions.

OP posts:

sazale · 11/09/2011 22:09

It's as if he's got to win at all costs!!! I think he's having difficulty understanding that it's not always defiance or naughtiness but that there's generally a reason for what she's doing! The fact that we don't have a diagnosis so have had no support or advice doesn't help with the change of mindset either as well as her being defiant to whoever she perceives as being in charge so he gets the nasty comments and defiant behaviour more than I do and I think he takes it personally

WilsonFrickett · 11/09/2011 22:12

What are you all doing with my DH??? Neither wonder he's tired and grumpy, he's got about 8 double lives going on

sazale · 11/09/2011 22:24

Ha ha that made me chuckle :o

BabeRuthless · 11/09/2011 22:30

The mad thing is that he's the one who went on the parenting course cos I had to work! Think I might get the folder out & leave it lying round as a hint.

Best bit was tonight when I was giving ds his bath & he kept dropping his toys over the side. Said to him "you do that again & I'm not getting it back". The inevitable happens & I'm thinking 'ok, I'm following through on this' then in saunters dp & gives the toy back to ds with a "there you go mate". And he wonders why ds takes turns asking us for stuff when he gets a 'no'

raspberryroop · 12/09/2011 00:43

So identify with this thread. I hate the'' if you do that again I'll ground you till your 35 threats ''

Original poster

Triggles · 12/09/2011 01:34

I personally do this at DH saying "I'm not going to tell you again!!" repeatedly. Effective? um... nope. For fairly obvious reasons.

OP posts:

BabeRuthless · 12/09/2011 07:45

Triggles we'd be a really bad episode of Wife Swap because both houses would be exactly the same

WilsonFrickett · 12/09/2011 09:32

And of course, the minute you say 'em, DH, not sure if grounding him till he's 40 and putting the ipad in the bin is really the answer' then you're not backing DH up. GAH!

Original poster

Triggles · 12/09/2011 11:58

hahahahahahaha Oh God yes WilsonFrickett! That's usually his follow up when I say "um, that's not going to work"... It's one of these:

"Why can't you ever back me up?"
"Fine, then YOU discipline him..."
"I'm not going to have him defying me all the time..."

OP posts:

auntyfash · 12/09/2011 14:29

It's the same in this house too! Must deffo be a man thing.

WilsonFrickett · 12/09/2011 14:38

Oh yes Triggles. Oh yes indeed.

Original poster

Triggles · 12/09/2011 19:17

Some days I can hear the whole "thunderdome" thing going on ... two enter, only one can leave... sigh...

I'm buying a black/white ref shirt and getting a whistle to carry...

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 12/09/2011 21:16

Love it triggles, do you have a Tina Turner wig for such occasions

Original poster

Triggles · 12/09/2011 21:21

I can see DH's face now if I did.

At least he'd be speechless for a few moments!

OP posts:

Flip