lisad123
Until the 1990s all SN issues were mainly defined in terms of behaviour, which was the limit of the science to explain multiple differences, deficits, and disabilities for which science did not have the technology to explain in terms of neurology, and genetics that we have now. So now there is no excuse to not understand the various neurological, cognitive, and genetic differences, which all who have these issue both children and children who grow up to be adults have to live with everyday of their lives. It is the so called NT part of society which has to make the accommodations to to understand and support those who have deficits in various areas of communication and motor and sensory abilities, and not expect those who have disability to work overtime just to stand still.
All children and adults who have any SN issues need others to help them discover how they are best able to communicate, using any of the five senses, and then have others adapt to their preferred form of communication, this will allay a great deal of stress and frustration for those who have SN issues, and enable them to use and develop their abilities in the best way they can.
AS you are no doubt aware I have APD, which is a communication disability, and it limits my ability to listen or process sound based information, including speech, and any notation of speech (text). I have more visual communication preferences, reading body language, lipreading, pictures diagrams maps, charts etc. Talking to people especially holding a conversation is stressful for me, I am phone phobic, and my coping strategies can only cope with 2 or 3 people at a time, any larger group if I am not prepared is an unmanagable crowd. So i need others to understand my communication needs and when they want to communicate with me to try to use my preferred forms of communication (most still never do). And because i never knew I had a disability which made me really different until I was in my mid 40s, I thought most were like me, and that i was an underachieving failure. Now in my late 50s I have a fairly good understanding of my disability, and better able self advocate for my needs, in my own way. And i will not let NT bully me to do things I am not cognitively able to do, which they consider every day taken for granted tasks.
In our family we have to let our children live with their deficits and develop their own alternative compensating cognitive abilities to word around their deficits. Each of our three sons has different degrees of APD, and they all have developed different ways and methods of coping, which best suite their own strengths and weaknesses. Yes we have to explain how those who do not have APD behave, and of their limited understanding or ignorance of our disability, and there will be some who do not want to understand for a wide range of reasons. We call this Professional APD, they do not want to listen. (Schools, teachers, LEAs, and government are the most professional APDs)
In our home it is normal to have APD, all of us have a clinical diagnosis of APD, so it is NTs who do not fit our normality, but we can usually understand and accommodate their differences and strange behaviour.