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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Any advice please (LONG)

35 replies

MissWanksAlot · 07/09/2011 11:09

Hi Everyone, Just after a bit of advice. We have put together bullet points of what concerns we have with our 3yo DS. The health visitor has been and agreed there are 'issues' But hasn't be a great help.

? Refuses/unable to use cutlery
? Unable to turn pages one by one
? Unable to peddle a bike/trike
? Flaps when running
? Spins
? Unable to catch
? Doesn?t play e.g Role play
? Either refuses to eat or will only eat certain things
? Can not count past 10
? Can not count objects
? Very OCD about things. How things ?should? be, E.g his blanket must be perfect
? Easily distracted
? Lack of eye contact
? Doesn?t always respond to name
? Unable to follow through on a task
? Very disturbed sleep( up 6-8 times a night, Always sleep talks alot
? Near or no letter or number recognition
? Lack of understanding danger
? If things are not in their right place he gets very stressed
? Likes to be by himself
? Hides away when stressed
? Unable to hop
? Can only squiggle when drawing
? Can?t blow his nose
? Can?t do buttons up
? Can?t put on shoes,Coat etc
? Doesn?t like loud noises
? Because very obsessive about certain things. eg Recently it has been pictures,

Also everything has to be a routine, If we say we are doing something we have to follow through or he will get highly stressed and hide away,He doesn't like people turning up unannounced.

He has started pre-school and has settled in brilliantly, They have a routine and he takes a packed lunch so at least I know he will eat. Any advice would be great on how to make life a bit easier, We took these points to our GP and he said that it is all normal behaviour for a 3 YO. We also have an 8 year old and never had these issues with her.

OP posts:

pedalpants · 07/09/2011 20:48

Hi, I have a 3 yr old who does not have ASD (very sociable, brilliant imaginative play, good language) but has some OCD/autistic traits similar to how you describe. he has a rare genetic fault and if we didn't know this we wouldn't be being taken seriously as all his behaviour falls within a 'normal' range for his age.

I pander to DS all the time and I think doing this this actually improves his anxiety a lot so don't worry about what other people think. he's been a bit phobic about various things which he's managed to overcome (hairwashing, boats, swimming) so I think an approach which is really empathetic and on 'his side' but pushing him a bit where you think you can is the best bet.

i think some of the academic stuff (number recognition, drawing etc) is irrelevant at 3. my DS can't do any of this but I know in my heart his IQ is normal and he will get there in the end. he has so much to contend with anyway.

good luck with it all

Tota1Xaos · 07/09/2011 22:44

Agree with pedalpants -re the purely academic skills - what you describe re:counting/letter recognition are fine for a 3 year old - so I would put that at bottom of any list, as it takes attention away from the more important day to day living difficulties.

Out of interest, why is he being referred to SALT, using sign? Just wondering if he has any language delay. Oh and get him a hearing test, just as a precaution to rule out any physical cause for frustration/not responding to name.

Original poster

MissWanksAlot · 08/09/2011 08:07

We had a hearing test and it was normal, He has very poor speech, This also frustrates him when people don't understand what he is trying to say, He was non verbal up untill a few months ago whereas now he is slowly starting to form a few words.

We also had an eye test booked but they were unable to perform the test as he got so stressed and had a melt down :-(

We have some really good techniques we are using to help him.

The sign is helping as it helps us to know what he wants we also use pictures of what is happening in the day and have a whitebored with the pictures of step by step of what is happening.

Was so angry with my MIL last night she tuned up right before he was getting in the bath and stormed in being loud as always and we didn't know she was coming and he had a massive to do then went in to hiding, H made her leave and it threw everything :-( She thinks he's just being awkward.

Sorry for the moan there!!

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 08/09/2011 08:27

Okay, well with language delay there are some things you can do yourself.

Get yourself a copy of the 'More than Words' Hanen book. It's a bit like a parenting bible for a child with SLT difficulties. Ask/Beg your SLT dept if they have any courses on it and if you can attend.

Research and consider going on a PECS course run by Pyramid Education. You may have dismissed PECS already due to it's nonsensical application by many who just don't have the time to teach it properly but it teaches you a huge amount about how to get your child to learn in a way that is fun for them.

Original poster

MissWanksAlot · 08/09/2011 08:29

No no I don't dismiss ANYTHING! I am willing to give anything a go :-)

Thank you I'l look in to that

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 08/09/2011 10:05

I absolutely second Hanen. My DS doesn't have ASD, his diagnosis is 'communication disorder' but Hanaen helped massively.

Original poster

MissWanksAlot · 08/09/2011 17:32

Ok so we have had some improvement today, Our health visitor has been out to see us today and she as booked an appointment for all of us to see another GP and she will attend, She assessed him today and he went in to hiding and when he came out he did he usual blanket arranging and re-arranging and his spinning and flapping. She has displayed her disgust with the way we were treated yesterday. We also have an appointment with her and the nursery.

We are documenting everything, Sleeping, eating also videoing him.

We have ordered the Hanen book today

OP posts:

Tota1Xaos · 08/09/2011 18:07

glad you are getting some support from your HV. remember to include the speech/language problems on your list for the doctor, language delay can (not always) be part of ASD. Also bear in mind your DS may have problems understanding language which will impact on his behaviour/frustration levels

Original poster

MissWanksAlot · 09/09/2011 07:50

We have had some really great advice in RL and on here which I am so greatfull for :-)

Just trying to make his life as un-stressfull as possible to keep the calm!!

Does anyone have an ideas on how to 'wean'him as such in to eating??! I may be pushing it now!!

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 09/09/2011 10:15

Pick your battles. Look at what he eats and think 'honestly, is he getting enough food, is he physically growing and getting bigger and doing all those things?'. Check his weight and then check his centile on the red book. And if he is doing OK and he is growing then honestly I would leave it and focus on something else.

If you put yourself in DCs shoes - food is such a way of exerting control over their lives. There also me be sensory issues that are physically stopping him from eating certain foods. In our house, the important thing is for meal times to be nice, social events - rather than stressing over what DS is eating we more try to focus on having conversations and taking turns and doing all that stuff.

So in a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is that food can be one of the biggest issues and one of the hardest to tackle. If you really believe DS is starving himself then yes, it's one you'll have to tackle first, but if he's eating enough then personally I would leave it and look at some other things first.

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago called 'what does your DC eat' or similar which might help you understand the range of 'normal' for our kids, and so how 'bad' your DCs eating is.

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