Intense need to scream right now

[Triggles]

DH is still trying to come to grips with things, meds IMO are not working for his depression. So he has been hostile and inappropriately nasty to everyone today. So even though I'm up to my eyeballs in sorting and working on paperwork for a number of things, I'm dealing with both boys. DS2 is currently in his room in meltdown because I won't let him play with my books (as opposed to children's books).

DH is downstairs ignoring it all. I suppose in a way at least if he is ignoring it, at least he's not shouting. But I've spent the last 2 hours dealing with DS2, instead of getting my paperwork done. So now I'll have to spend this evening ironing for next week's school, finishing paperwork, after getting supper coordinated and getting both boys to bed (because DH again is too stroppy to properly deal with boys).

I could just scream. And if I hear one more time "you just don't understand" I may just scream anyway. What I understand is that he can control things (mostly) when we're out in public or when MIL is here, but not with us, his family, his CHILDREN. I am fast reaching the end of my patience with this.

DS2 cannot cope with all the shouting and stress. So he's more upset and prone to meltdown. And then DH goes off about it. It's making me more and more angry at DH that he can't see what he's doing to everyone around him. Or doesn't want to see, because that would be a step towards admitting that he's being awful.

I blame their mothers. Especially the mothers who don't have daughters.

Sometimes DH comes out with such utter crap its hard to continue the conversation. We try so hard to get bedtime down to a fine art, know exactly what to say and do. No it doesn't always work but we fine tune it so much we know best practice when we see it. Then..... in they go and start reading three stories instead of two and wonder why we kick off

get a telephone or personal appt with your husbands gp before his appointment, ideally the same morning but dont risk your phone appt being after his visit. Dont tell your husband you are doing this, there is no need to wind him up more.

the gp cant discuss your dh with you due to confidentiality but you can discuss your dh with the gp!! It will hopefully put a different slant on your dhs appt with the gp. Would be ideal if you could have a persoal appt and show the gp the video as it seems your gp imight ignore you otherwise?

Triggles, as you are your DHs nearest relative (defined in law) you have certain rights and responsibilities. I would very much recommend you call Rethink they have an amazing advice line which users of the service call the lifeline. I have phoned them many times in reference to my mum but equally applicable to our DHs. Please please call them, they can help you in many ways. 0845 456 0455.

argh... FFS. I am going to make a complaint to Mumsnet. A student psychotherapist advertised on here to do free treatments (under supervision). We contacted her and DH has met with her once. Then she kept postponing the next meeting saying that she hadn't been able to reach her supervisor. Now today she has texted DH saying her supervisor does not want her treating anyone for at least another YEAR, so she can't help him at all now. What in the bloody hell was this woman doing advertising for patients when she had not cleared it with her supervisor - and MEETING with patients. DH is absolutely poleaxed by this. He told her all sorts of confidential things, private stuff, and now this. He is now refusing to go see anyone else, because he went to someone from Relate initially who told him she couldn't treat him, he needed to meet with a support group but she didn't refer him to any, even though she said she would. Then this woman does this.... I AM LIVID!!!!

And he's walking around here in a right tear. DS2 is exhausted after first day back from school. DS3 wouldn't nap today, so he's whinging.

And then we get some court papers today on a debt that we've been negotiating a payment schedule with, so that's really cheered us all up too.

DH is shouting and angry at anyone and everyone now. Great.

Yup... showing him the video helped for what.. a couple hours?

oh hell Triggles! Thats the last thing you need! I would definately complain are these people or advertising not vetted first????

Try and ignore him as best you can, just play with the kids to distract them or something early bath and early bed for them and you. Leave him to it for today x

That was incredibly unprofessional of the student Triggles. I would meet with her supervisor and explain the trauma this caused (or at least phone her) as the student needs to be made aware of codes of ethics and ethical practice and all sorts here. I dare say she will get in heaps of trouble....did your huband sign anything confirming confidentiality etc from the student?
I would ensure any info she gleaned be destroyed immediately in case it falls into the wrong hands.

DH doesn't remember signing anything, and doesn't believe she took any notes (which seems odd) and he insists she was recording the meeting. We do not have the details for her supervisor, but I will be sending her an email requesting her supervisor's details as well as her assurance that she will destroy immediately any notes she may have made regarding DH. I would think that she has violated some ethical practices here and I am shocked that she would meet with DH and get information from him prior to supervisor approval to treat anyone! And getting him in to another counsellor is going to be really rough now, as he is adamant that it isn't going to happen. I will definitely be making a complaint to her supervisor, as well as to Mumsnet as she advertised on Mumsnet, which is how we found her.