I think my friend's DD has mild aspergers, should I tell her?

[pedalpants]

reasons for concern in 5 yo

very anxious. cannot be apart from mum, even to go to the loo
very early talker and reader
did not settle into nursery and took a long time to settle in school (is settled in school now)
very late in making friends. has friends now but mainly boys. also some odd behaviour (could be construed as spiteful or naughty) which I think are to do with the fact she doesn't really get some social rules
hysterical about hand driers
will only wear certain things
not a good eater (but will eat)
screams for no apparent reason if something isn't 'right'
ignores friends outside school
will not go to friends houses for tea

Overall, I think she is improving, but still seems quit different to a lot of girls her age.

I think that Aspergers has not occured to my friend, even though she openly talks about how different DD is to other kids.

What should I do, any thoughts appreciated

I think like others have said, somethimes it's how you do it that is the key.

It's usually the thing to respond to rather than instigate a conversation about. And then very much in a 'yeah I agree she does...., if you're worried you could.....' sort of approach. Or, you could always try 'do, you know the things you decribe do sound a bit....., not that I'm an expert or anything but I was just reading.../Ihave a friend who has a child with.... and he/she has isues like....'

GossipWitch, whether your ds has ASD ir not that was a totally unprofessional act. It might have needed saying but ceratinly not in the situation and not with those words.

I don't think you can.

It's a very difficult situation. Because ontheonehand I wish we had picked up our DD's AS at an earlier age that we did. Maybe if someone had said something to us we might have investigated and she may have been diagnosed earlier.

But then I am not sure how we would have taken such a suggestion. It certainly wasn't something that occurred to us when she was much younger - even though she had her fair share of problems.

I can't help bu think it is only something you could raise if you were actually asked/approached.

Something similar happened to me. About a year before I realised that ds had AS. I got a lift from a girl I had known from school. Her ds has LFA. We shared lots of mutual friends and lots of her friends dc are in the same class as ds. We were chatting about our dc's when she casually said "your ds is autisic isn't he?"

I just went er no but didn't question why she thought that. He was quirky and he was having lots of probs at school but I was really ignorant about autism and has only really heard about LFA. looking back now I wish she had said something more.

You know your friend and how she will take it, if she already has concerns the next time she raises them, you could just suggest AS as a possibilty.